Corny jokes thread (to cheer up Dadslib)

[Freddiecat]

Police are investigating reports that the singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor was found dead in a french footballer's hotel room.

Reports are coming through of murder on Zidane's floor....

Can't think of any, sorry.

Hey, my son's girlfriend is Zidane's cousin!! She won't be happy that you're casting 'nasturtiums'.

How corny?

What do you call a donkey with three legs:

wonkey

Is that corny enough?

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how many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2, but they have to be really small

Thats morer like it. LOL

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Actually now I've just reminded myslef of my favourite:

How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
472. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...

POssibly that's only funny if you're a techie. For eveyone else:

How many helpdesk people does it take to chnage a lightbulb?
none - the lightbulb is working fine in my office...

Never try and buy an itellectually challenged dwarf -
It's not big and it's not clever!

thomcat - that one made me groan! perhaps we need an accronym for that. GOL?

I love it!

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk

i'll leave now....

Q: How many MP's does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding
committee to learn more about how it's done.

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what do you call a sheep with no legs?

A Cloud

One from DD:

What do you call a cow lying on the barn floor?

Ground Beef.

what do you call a dinasor with one eye?

dyathinkhesawus

i love all these

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Good King Wenceslas phones up his local Italian takeaway.
"I'll have a pepperoni pizza please" requests the Monarch.
"Certainly your Majesty" says the manager. "Would you like your usual?"
"Yes please," replies the King. "Deep pan, crisp and even."

Did you hear about the short-sighted circumciser?

He got the sack.

ROFL!!!!!!!

Dadslib:

Q What d'you call a blind deer with it's legs and shot off?
A Still no f***g idea!

Q.How do you get a camel through the eye of a needle?
A. use a blender!

Q. How do gynaecologists decorate the hallway?
A. Through the letterbox!

Q: What's the fastest thing in the world?
A: Milk, because it's past-ur-ise before you see it.

And one that has worked in every language I know, and then some...

Q: What's green and goes backwards?
A: [sniff]