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Who are the men on Mumsnet?

74 replies

Rhubarb · 16/10/2003 16:16

I know that we have Tom, Dadslib, SimonHoward (although he should be in missing persons!) and now we've got BearintheBigBlueHouse. I can't help but feel curious as to who these men are. My dh, whilst a very doting father, wouldn't dream of going onto a discussion board or parenting website. He never discusses his private life with anyone other than a couple of close friends. He wouldn't dream of posting for advice or to offer an opinion on parenting. And to be honest, most parenting sites as Tom said, are mainly set up for women. So you men, just to satisfy my curiousity, who are you, what do you do and why do you post on these forums?

Here's my thoughts based on the postings by each man.
Tom - quite good-looking, works with people, opinionated but reasonable, would probably suit a social services job (depending on how you view social services!).
Dadslib - a woman just trying to get out! Probably resents having to stay at home and only surfs the web out of boredom.
SimonHoward - a bespectacled accountant who cannot do enough for his missus, a bit like that mc bloke from wife swap!
Bearinthe.... don't know enough about him yet, but probably not bad looking and again, works in a people job. Does more than his fair share of the childcare because he likes doing it, wants to be hands-on all the time. Probably to be seen on the high street with the baby in one of those back-packs.

So how right/wrong am I?

OP posts:
Freddiecat · 17/10/2003 12:39

Dadslib I am in exactly the same situation. I am an IT consultant and have been at this company 3 years and love it so much I moved to this area 2 years ago. They have given notice to terminate at the end of the year. I am still employedd by my company but HQ is 150 miles away so working there would mean being away all week. I hated doing that when I was single so now with a family it's not an option so I have no choice to resign.

Company I am working at want to take me on permanent which would be great. But there are contractual issues (I have to be off-site 6 months after leaving employer or they pay a transfer fee). They are not making massively encouraging noises - like no one has said they will keep a job open for 6 months for me.

So I am applying for jobs which is not brilliant. Would like to get pg soon but have to wait until I start at a new company as I want extended leave (and don't want to be pg at interview).

Sorry rant there. Just wanted you to know Dadslib I know exactly what it's like being forced to leave a place you really like working at and leave all the people and have so much uncertainty. Good luck

dadslib · 17/10/2003 12:44

Message withdrawn

forestfly · 17/10/2003 12:45

Where are the men full stop.

dadslib · 17/10/2003 12:48

Message withdrawn

Tom · 17/10/2003 12:53

Lol Rhubarb - got a picture of me as Robert Lindsey in a beret - excellent!

What do I do... erm.. here's a bit of background... Anthropology degree at LSE (87 - 90), masters in ethics from Cardiff ('99 - 02), voluntary work in South Africa (land rights) until about 92, worked in environment and development for a bit (Action Aid), then got into family policy and research, specialised in fatherhood about 6 years ago and am now "Networks" manager at Fathers Direct. What is that? I am organising a global network of researchers, practitioners and policy makers in fields like health, education and social services who are finding ways to harness the potential of fathers to improve outcomes for children - so that means getting dads more involved/responsible/competent, but focussed on children's rights, not fathers rights. I run our website, I'm organising a national conference, I run events for Sure Starts and other agencies, speak at conferences, train professionals like midwives, health visitors, do ante-natal training for fathers to be (consultancy basis - any celeb dads-to-be out there?), errrrmmmmmmmmmmmm... I've got a season ticket for Southampton FC, I go skateboarding whenever I can (and don't have a broken foot) although there's not alot of time left after work and kids...

I try to resist all urges to clench fists and scream 'power to the people', don't own a beret, but I did spend a bit of time in the mid 90's living on road protests, which was larf But then I settled down, and am now marrid with mortgage and kids (1 x 3 year old - Cole, who lives with me, and 1 x 11 year old - Bonga, who lives with his mum in South Africa - he's half Zulu)...

There - now you know...

dadslib · 17/10/2003 12:58

Message withdrawn

Freddiecat · 17/10/2003 12:59

.... says the "consultant"...

Tom · 17/10/2003 13:04

oh - I've not had a proper job since I worked for a bank in mu summer hols aged 17 - voed then i'd never do it again! This pays my way well enough, and I've always thought if I pursue what I love doing, and it's good enough, someone will pay for it. So far, it's worked (not that it pays well, you understand) - only another 30 years till I retire to keep it up

dadslib · 17/10/2003 13:07

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forestfly · 17/10/2003 13:09

How do you know so much about stockport anyway dl

lilibetsdp · 17/10/2003 13:26

Interesting thread. I'm here (only sometimes admittedly) because my DP is addicted! .
but seriously the people on mumsnet have been incredibly supportive and offered some wonderful advice to her (and us) and I can't criticise it at all.
I think the way the male / female 'discussions' recently have gone is a shame - but then everyone has their own opinions!

As to the point about why more husbands and partners don't post on here, can I just say that if as many of them read as many of the threads as I do (without often posting) there may well be more of them on the site than some of you imagine.

And before anyone asks yes I will be most probably posting on here more and more (maybe even under my 'own' name) as time goes on - as I am now getting used to 3 wonderful children (I fully admit as a complete novice) and all your advice may well be needed often!

forestfly (and anyone else in Stockport) - we're going to be back at the Bakers Vaults hopefully early next year (if you still want to come now you've heard the music?!)

forestfly · 17/10/2003 13:27

Nice music, lilibetsdp!

lilibetsdp · 17/10/2003 13:28

Cheers ff

forestfly · 17/10/2003 13:30

To be honest its a bit wierd really ldp i was listening to it then! One of the lines made me laugh. Lillibet said you were playing in nov. not true? I will definetly come with my friends anyway! Hope lilibet and kids have got over the lollopop lady saga x

lilibetsdp · 17/10/2003 13:36

The plan was for November / December..... but now I'm told early next year. These things change all the time! Keep an eye on our site for dates.

Really glad you like the songs!

Yes think so thanks, it was all a big shock and very sad indeed. Esp as her family work at/attend the school too.

dadslib · 17/10/2003 13:43

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lilibet · 17/10/2003 13:50

You'll have to meet up with us in Bakers Vault Dadslib!!

forestfly · 17/10/2003 13:52

Watch out for what? A man in a dress,a clown, i wouldn't know anyway. Sales very nice though i 've been to a few parties there and the water park. Big Houses

dadslib · 17/10/2003 13:57

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forestfly · 17/10/2003 13:59

Bredbury Hall? Errrr No. Sorry i dont wear cropt tops and skirts with no knickers

dadslib · 17/10/2003 14:06

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Jollymum · 17/10/2003 20:21

Lillibetsdp-have you worked out your nickname yet? Don't tell anyone, let us guess if you're a boy or a girl! LOL It's nice to see a dp posting on here-keep it up. Mind you, I do admit that sometimes when I'm reading the posts (especially the ones about the ladies that are having loads, and I mean loads of sex, I do cover the screen and tell my dh we're talking about periods/breast feeding or soemthing which he won't be interested in. Back later-stuff the diet!!

Rhubarb · 18/10/2003 12:46

So you're nearly a Mancunian then Dadslib? That explains everything! I live in Preston but used to live in Oldham. I do happen to do pretty good cvs too.
Tom - is that really true that you have a son called Bonga?????? Good Heavens man, what where you doing with those Zulus!!!!

I think Lilibetsdp is right, there are probably loads of men out there who just 'lurk'. It's like men are always curious as to what happens in women's circles, what we talk about, if we discuss them and so on, although most of them would never join one of these circles, I'll bet plenty wish they were flies on the wall. So I wonder how many Mumsnetters' partners lurk on here trying to satisfy their curiosities!

Whatever happened to SimonHoward anyway?

OP posts:
Janstar · 18/10/2003 13:15

I like having a few men posting on here - it all adds to the spice of life and it's good to hear a differently slanted viewpoint.

I've just come back from a week's holiday and spent the whole week wondering whether dadslib was serious about leaving mumsnet when he went off in a huff the day before I left! Glad to see you are still here, dadslib.

I agree that sometimes the men are treated rudely, us women are usually fair-minded and so I don't really understand why it happens. I hope I have not been guilty.

No one has mentioned astonmartin yet, who I think is sliverx2's dh. I have not seen them posting much lately.

And yes, where is simonhoward?

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