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Original poster

Alternative swearwords

50 replies

tomps · 13/10/2003 23:51

The f word thread reminded me I need help with finding acceptable expletives ! I get very sweary mary in the car (not my fault - it's all the f*$kin awful drivers round here !) - but now dd's started repeating EVERYTHING I must mind my language. Dp is very bad too so between us we came up with ... fluffy sheep (f--k / sh-t) and twit (instead of ...) Of course it's important that in a stressful situation the 'swear' word is satisfyingly noisy to help let off steam, but without being offensive. Over to you ...

OP posts:
bloss · 15/10/2003 12:34

Message withdrawn

Frenchgirl · 15/10/2003 12:42

my dad used the lovely 'connard' to another motorist when we were visiting my parents in France in august, and dd was in the back seat, she thought he'd said 'canard' (duck) and was just wondering where he'd seen any, so I have started using 'canard' now and then....

Sosijsmum · 15/10/2003 12:42

Didn't sweary Mary say FITBIN so that she could still be on the front cover of viz, circa 1996?

doormat · 15/10/2003 12:46

fio yes it is

Northerner · 15/10/2003 12:52

Chuffin Hell

For Chuffs sake!

Gumdrop · 15/10/2003 13:47

Care of the Simpsons - Son of a diddly.
Ditto Farscape - Frell, frelling, drek

plus

Holy Moly

You muppet + You utter, utter, muppet

Witnit (don't ask)

Eeejitt (+ bad irish accent, sorry)

My life - which dd 1 thinks is "My wife", and wants to know where this mystery woman lives.

jodee · 15/10/2003 14:55

Bloss, thanks for saying that about JC, etc., that's just how I feel about it too, but hadn't been able to put it into words!

I try and say 'fiddlesticks' in ds' earshot ... otherwise it's usually 'sh*tting hell'!

Frenchgirl · 15/10/2003 14:59

I am learning sooo much from this thread, you're never taught this stuff at school when you learn english

aloha · 15/10/2003 15:04

Oh bottoms! Ds loves it. Mind you I also says bollocks from time to time (eg when ds pours blue paint all over himself) and Ds loves that too. Was cheerily yelling it around the house the other day,

Thunderbird · 15/10/2003 15:52

Flo2 - its a Joddrell (Bank) or a J Arthur (Rank)

codswallop · 15/10/2003 16:04

we say bolleaux which frenchgirl will know is french for bollocks

dinosaur · 15/10/2003 16:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

wilbur · 15/10/2003 16:13

Trying to use "darn" when I can, but hard to lose the f-word and also bollocks and balls which I use a lot (linguistically, tho not practically ). Also like "holy cow" and "blimey o'riley" but these are not v satisfying when someone's just cut you up in the road. Ds said "oh my god" the other day and I was horrified, he's only 2 3/4. Gotta clean up my act. "pants" I like - will try that.

JanHR · 15/10/2003 16:23

I use "flip", "fiddlesticks "and "Flamin' Nora" alot as well as "sugar"

Frenchgirl · 15/10/2003 17:06

coddy get your dictionary out (is it a bit dusty???)

dadslib · 15/10/2003 17:13

Message withdrawn

tinyfeet · 15/10/2003 17:35

Poop instead of sh**

Man Almighty! Instead of Jesus Christ or G-D

SoupDragon · 15/10/2003 17:59

d*dslib, we don't use language like that here, now be off with you.

SoupDragon · 15/10/2003 18:02

EmmaTMG, fish hooks is one of my mum's favourites! Spit tiddlers is another one. To my knowledge, she has never uttered a genuine swearword. Not even damn. knows how she did it when my brothers and I were growing up!

I like "tits". It has the right explosive quality and is fairly inoffensive although I don't think I'd actually like to hear DSs saying it. Pants is another one.

Frenchgirl · 15/10/2003 18:04

I wish I could remember to say 'bother' like Winnie the pooh

PamT · 15/10/2003 18:16

I use 'oh bum' and 'blast' a lot and rarely swear in front of the kids. I never use the F word because I really don't like it but it isn't commonly used around here, whereas it is used frequently in every day language in some parts of the country. DS thought he was clever shouting out "dollops" when he really meant b*cks and it still makes me laugh, maybe I should incorporate it into my everyday vocabulary. Shazbat is a good alternative for sht but I can't remember which tv programme it came from - was it Mork and Mindy?

DS2 is really testing us at the moment and loves saying fart, arse, pss etc just to provoke a reaction because they are words that we just don't use. He started off at 3 when he came home from nursery and decided to stand in the back garden and shout f*k over and over in the back garden. Ignoring him didn't work as he could last out longer than I could so I just had to explain that it wasn't a very nice thing to say and distract him into doing something else.

aloha · 15/10/2003 19:20

ds banged his head very hard when another child pushed him over while his nanny was looking after him. She was obviously pretty shocked when it happened, because when he came home, I said to him "Oh, what's that bump on your head?" and ds grinned, put his hands on his head and said "Oh my God! Oh my God!" So I said to the sheepishly grinning nanny, 'Well, I know what your reaction was'. It did make me laugh.

codswallop · 15/10/2003 19:22

we also use "Hotar!" which "everyone" know is Japanese for all swear words imaginable and is very good to kind of spit out of your mouth

try it when next on traffic

tinyfeet · 15/10/2003 20:05

Don't you all say something like 'Gordon Bennett'? We do say 'shoot' a lot here.

janh · 15/10/2003 21:37

Gordon is Alan Bennett's older brother (honestly!)

I don't think he is THE Gordon Bennett though.

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