My inferiority as a driver has reached new lows. I have just pranged our car AGAIN. I deserve no sympathy but please go on and give me some...

[motherinferior]

...er, that's it, really.

Still blame the other guy but that's not the POINT.

Car is DP's pride and joy. And we will drive to his mother's funeral in a wreck on Monday.

Have stopped shaking but still not fearfully chipper.

Oh god, me too. I break into a cold sweat when I have to drive through one of those 6'6" chicanes that our council have put in everywhere. Even the 7'2" ones make me a bit jumpy. I expect it's because our minds are occupied with Higher Things.

Respect
(I can't drive)

I wasn't laughing issymum - it was www who got the sniggers! Although I see her point . I hate driving too, especially in the bus we have now. I'm saving up for one of those g-whizz things that's teeny and can only go 40 mph, then at least I won't have such nightmares getting down tight streets and parking. I got called a "stupid whore" by a van driver recently when I was trying to pull into my own driveway, which sometimes means I hold up traffic as we are close to a busy corner. Cars suck, but often they are neccessary.

Surely if lorry driver squeezed through a space too narrow while you were stationary it is his fault. You may not have been ideally positioned but he shouldn't have attempted it even so. Either he or you could have moved back if it was a problem, but he was better positioned to see.

Exactly LIZS. This is about the arrogance of the other driver, not poor driving on MI's part. I get really fed up with this sort of attitude. So many drivers refuse to give way and make you back up, even if it's your right of way. In my crazier days (ie when severely sleep deprived last year), faced with a similar situation I got out the car and stood in the road and refused to move until the other driver backed up. It did work, but I don't recommend it.

Issymum, I think I will join you.

But yes, thank you everyone; you've put some perspective on it. Even at the time I thought 'well, if you could see you couldn't get through why didn't you tell me so?' - the situation was such that it would have been perfectly feasible to reverse, or indeed turn round, for me.

And DP just rang and claims he's not pissed off. DP's identity is very much tied up with his car. In fact his whole family is curiously car-obsessed. Am braced for many enquiries on Monday. Seriously. It's the last bloody thing I'd think about at a funeral.

He's probably not pissed off mi just glad you are OK

sorry to hear this and glad you are ok apart from dented pride. you are more important than the car! i do think you should "get back in the saddle" - as it were - as soon as possible, and if refresher lessons would boost your confidence back up then i say do it.

I am glad you are recovered now MI - you have total empathy from me too - I am a rubbish driver and have been planning to take extra lessons for over a year. Note - 'extra' not 'refresher' lessons as I never learnt to park in the first place! The humiliation of asking capable looking stangers to help me get my car into a huge space in multi-storey car parks is getting a bit much now!

i am utterly rubbish at parking in small spaces and once made a hefty dent in the side of our old car parking in a multi storey at heathrow - dinged the car against a concrete pillar

it's only a lump of metal - as long as you're ok!

it a load of hassle though!

Oh, MI, poor you. It's the publicness of it, isn't it? Yes, if you were stationary, it is 100% his liability. But they always carry on as if it is not. Anyway, even if it was, it was an accident, and they happen.

Er, dare I say....unless you have beliefs you haven't yet shared with me, it's not as if his mother will SEE the state of the car you drive to her funeral in!

Sending you big hugs. I think you're very brave driving. I've had several refresher lessons and still haven't plucked up the courage to go out on my own (will have to do it soon) but keep putting it off.

Take care and lots of hugs.

Oh huge sympathies MI. I reversed our car which has a reverse sensor into a parked car in a nearly empty car park when we had only had the car for a few months. I cried and cried with fury at my stupidity!

It is a very big car so it has now taken a few scrapes, not all my fault! but I am not owning up to dh about the most recent one when I singularly failed to parallel park without depriving someone of their paintwork!

Hope the insurance coughs up and you forget it all soon.

Erm, I am not a very good driver. Have never said that before. DH says I never get out of second gear (which is sort of true, but to be fair it is not strictly necessary to get out of second gear in SW London). It pisses me off because I think it is a bit , well, girly, not being a very good driver (and I passed my test over 20 years ago). DH also says I look like a budgie in the car, with the seat very upright and far forward with my head near the mirror - in fact he often threatens to buy me a cuttlefish to tie to the mirror to further the analogy. I feel a bit odd driving our long and expensive automatic Audi estate. It feels, well, long and expensive and automatic. Our manual crap Polo is more my style.

Can I join your rubbish driver club as well?

I always park miles away from anyone else in carpark, hate reversing so like to drive forwards into a space. Have only started re driving after 4 years non driving so am worse than a learner, DP makes me park near other cars when he's in the car for practice

When I passed my test I bought a brand new Fiesta that I was too scared to drive first time I drove it I scraped it against a wall, also hit a wheely bin and bumped against an old wreck in a car park all in the first month

Oh MI - I'm so sorry. That is the worst feeling, and it is sooo upsetting. Hope you're feeling a bit better now.

I might win the prize for dopey driving...or should I say non-driving! I actually own a car which I have never driven - long story, but it was a very good deal so I bought it in anticipation of passing my driving test. I took a few driving lessons, and then decided I didn't feel confident enough to take the test. And besides....public transport isn't too bad, and walking is about the only exercise I get these days! I've either got to sell the car, or take lessons again.

It's ridiculous really, because I drive all the time in America (with a license I might add), but don't feel confident enough to try here.

Anchovy, hahahaha at your budgie thing and Blu a guilty laugh at the mum comment! MI, glad you're feeling a bit better.

It's a big replaceable lump of metal. You are a small, irreplaceable human being. Have some chocolate. And I'm so sorry about your MIL, but glad for you and dp that the awful waiting is over.

So glad you are OK and you've realised it was the lorry driver being a tosser and NOT your fault. Arses always like to make you feel you were wrong. But if you aren't very confident, refresher lessons might be an idea.

Have been thinking about arranging some for dh as he really hates driving. But has now adopted a calm, zen-like approach of 'assume there will be a number of tossers on the road before you set out' which has really cheered him up no end. Just acceptance rather than being wound up every time he encounters one. Try it yourself, at least it might save you from automatically assuming everything is your fault.

I'm always scraping and denting our car. Dh says it's just a lump of metal. I have also thought about refresher classes, esp wrt parking, in which I seem to have forgotten even the bit I did know.

Could you possibly get a cheap but sturdy banger for you to drive? The 2nd hand car market is crap for sellers atm apparently - we've acquired MIL's little Ford thing because no-one else wanted it. The only problem is you need something reasonably sturdy and Volvo-ish if the kids are going to go in it - which of course they are.

Anyway, don't worry at all. Dh also says: if you drive, you'll have accidents. It goes with the territory. And it's often the other person's fault, as it was in your case.

Sorry about your car MI, lorry/van drivers are so impatient. Don't let him slip out of paying up for this.

Just thought I'd reassure you that I tend to avoid lorrys, post and other immovable objects and I promise not to stretch your nerves any further by hitting anything on the way to the restaurant tomorrow night. I do drive too fast though.......