police & bf : what would you have said??

[roosmum]

after all the recent fuss about the police & bfing in public, i'm wondering what the best thing to say to them would've been??
quite sure i'd have been too shocked/spitting angry to say anything useful or withering at the time...so what d'you reckon would be the best retort??

(partly so i can save them up for future reference... )

I probably would have burst into tears (I can do that on command!) and see how he handles a stressed out blubbering wreck as I whine on about how it's hard enough getting up the courage to breast feed in public, and I only do it because otherwise my baby screams and people think I'm neglecting her.
I'd cry about how my baby doesnt fit the four hour rule, and when she wants feeding, there's no appeasing her so I cant just model my life around her feeding habits and retreat to a dark cave when those four hour mark approach.
I'd even point out that all the buses in my city were obviously lying when they advertise there is no need to be embarrassed about breastfeeding and how women should be supported.
Then I'd probably ask him to call my DH as my one phone call when he arrested me!

I'd have been embarrassed and shocked too tbh, but wouldn't have bothered with a smart put-down. No point in shooting the messenger. However, if someone was bottle-feeding their baby on a public bench, no-one would have batted and eyelid, or if they were having a sandwich for their own lunch. A bf baby needs to be fed and that's that. If people are offended, they only need to look away. Why is it such a big deal? I can't understand why someone should complain to a police officer. Bizarre.
Having said that, I'd have chosen a place which wasn't quite so open myself, such as a cafe, or Boots parent and baby room, but that's personal choice.

BTW my response isn't just based on the policeman approaching the woman, but I watched a couple of programs today who were discussing this, and I was shocked at the amount of people (especially women) but called to say they agreed and the breastfeeding should be done in private.
When I was in pregnant / in hospital after the birth / under the care of the health visitor, not one of them suggested I bottlefeed, they all pushed the breastfeeding. One particular midwife was a bit awful and suggested I stay in hospital for my fifth night becuase I hadn't established breastfeeding in their eyes. I struggled with getting it started, my DD isn't in a feeding routine and when she wakes up for a feed, the whole world knows it. BUT I've cracked it and the main reason for this is patient people and supportive DH / Family. Comments like these are not needed. Especially when the same narrow minded people tut when they see somebody putting a bottle in a babies mouth. Are these babies supposed to starve???

Aero, what if there wasn't anywhere like that nearby? I've fed on a park bench a good 20 minutes walk from the nearest (scummy) cafe and a good half hour by car from anywhere with a parent and baby room.

If there wasn't anywhere I could go, hm, then I'd have done the public bench thing too and just been as discreet as I could (not easy, but possible, even with my melons). I'd definitely find it more upsetting to hear my hungry baby crying to be fed than I would be worried about offending passers by.

Idve wacked me norks out and started feeding him again there and then. Let him judge for himself how offensive or what crime i was committing. Im not one for smart comments. Actions speak louder than words imo.

And then some time later my DB wouldve told me about some funny story with his copper mate (he's a PC) thats gone round the whole of the force about some mad woman who wacked her norks out for the hell of it.

i was pleased that the woman went to the press. i hope the person who complained felt thoroughly ashamed of themselves. And i think the policeman should have politely said to them,'it's not an offence-babies have to be fed but it an offence to be a peeping tom...'

Have to say, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I read this reader's comment on the Daily Mail website:

"My town has a no-drinking on the street policy, so this sort of behaviour would be illegal.

• Stuart, Surrey, UK"

I think I'd have said "Whaaaat? what's the crime being committed? Are you going to charge me?" this really was totally outrageous.

I'm with Gobbledigook - this has been blown up out of proportion since the police officer did not stop the woman feeding and did not harrass her whilst she was feeding her baby. He did pass on a complaint from another member of the public with the suggestion that the mother feed elsewhere next time which is not harrassment nor is it rude, it's simply ill informed. He doesn't deserve all the rudeness etc tht's suggested here, he needs educating. Had these suggested responses been directed at the person who made the complaint, then fair enough. Anyone who comes up to a feeding woman and tells her to stop deserves all they get and I used to spend my time whilst feeding thinking up witty and sharp retorts for all those people who damn well NEVER came up to me. Bah!

Personally I would like to think I would have said "thank you for letting me know, officer." paused and then added "Whilst you're here, I'd like to report a 'peeping tom' for harrassment."

Hurrah - perfect post Soupy.

Actually, this is what the young male officer did;

"He told me they had had a complaint from an older member of the public and he was following it up," said Mrs Boyle-White, 34.

"He then asked me to refrain from breastfeeding in public. He said he could not 'do me' for it, but suggested that I use a restaurant or cafe in future.

"I couldn't believe it. He made me feel like a criminal for doing something which is perfectly natural.

Soooo, he rolls up in a marked police car, just to draw attention to what is happening, then he tells the lady to 'move on' adding that he cannot 'do her' for it but suggesting she sit in a cafe. Very understanding of him!

Gobbledigook, if you had half the experience I have had of Officers of the Law you would actually understand why it is that the last person I would go to for help is one of them. If all your experiences have been good ones then I'm very happy for you! However I do take offence at being called an 'idiot' thank you very much!

"He asked me to refrain from breastfeeding in public"

HELLO????

I think it sounds pretty aggressive, not just a well-meaning comment.

Whatever!

Message withdrawn

i would have said

quick, that man over there is asian and wearing a backpack

LOL Enid!

Slightly different, less agressive, wording in the BBC version. No mention of police cars or the phrase "do me for it". The person who deserves all the rudeness is the person who made the complaint.

"He said I hadn't committed a crime, but asked me to refrain from doing it in public and he suggested places where I could breast feed her - in a restaurant or cafe - as opposed to a street bench," she said.

PMSL Enid

I'm a bit concerned that a policeman doesn't know that a restaurant or cafe is a public place.

Can you imagine going into a restaurant or café and saying "Do you mind if I just sit at one of your tables and breastfeed my baby in front of your other diners please?" Are these people for real????

"I don't want to buy any tea or coffee"

"And I'll change my baby's shitty nappy while I'm here too, if that's OK"

Certainly Madam! Would you like a window seat so all the passers-by can complain about a woman b/f in a public café? And I'll also sit you right here next to these business-men having their lunch so they can oggle at you, and oooh look, there's a lovely old couple behind you who will make tut-tutting noises behind your back! Will that be ok for you Madam?