Dilemma...what would you do?

[crackingchristmascat]

Both dds go swimming on a sunday night.
Theres a girl in dd1s class whos about 6 who comes into the changing rooms on her own while her dad reads the newspaper outside.
She asked me to help her get dressed about 3 weeks ago and I sorted out her clothes for her and helped tug her socks/boots on.
Next week she says Can you help me get dried...so I did. Sort of shook the towel up and down her and tryed to encourage her to sort out her own clothes. She did some I did some.
This week I was talking to the swimming instructor for ages and when we went through to the changing area She said I couldnt find you..OH Gawd I thought.
I dried my dds hair under the hair dryer and this little girl didnt make any attempt ot sort herself or her clothes out. So I said things like Oh you need to get yourself dry, your freezing, youdd better get a move on or you will freeze to death etc etc and she didnt move, just stood there shivering.
I then move to where the clothes are get my dd dresses and tell her to sort hers out, she says she needs help. I put the stuff out in a row and said you need to get your dad to sort you out dont you...feeling mean but..
the nice part of me says Oh give her a hand...but not at the expense of my dd being wet/cold and hey her dads outside and theres no reason that he could be doing it.
What would you do?

Or if there is they are boys not mens. If theres any difference, if youve seen one youve seen them all.

Under eights are supposed to be supervised at all times in most swimming baths, so he should be taking her into the men's (most changing rooms say OK to have child of other sex under eight). Especially if there are lots of other guys with their kids, I can't see that it should be a problem to take her into the men's changing room. However a six year old ought to be able, with a little prompting, to get dry and changed, so I can see why he might think so. I wouldn't let my six year old ds get change in a seperate room, but he would be fine in a seperate locker. But that's just because he would mess around. I'd be a little concerned that she is not doing anything at all for herself, and to be honest I would be a little concerned at dirty knickers (do they look like she's been wearing them for days, or just not a great wiper?). I think helping with shoes and socks is one thing, and I would happily (and have) done that, but not doing anything for herself at all would worry me - is this an appeal for a friendly face/contact? btw are your changing rooms very cold? My two run around wildly (naked) for ages before I can persuade the it's time to get ready to go home! If he is approachable, then have a word with him (gently!) if not, you should say something to the swimming teacher.

I find the naked women offputting in our local pool (changing room) ds and dd don't notice at all. They see it all at home, so why should it cause them any concern? I would like to be less prudish personally!

Not a good wiper I would say. They are cold yep. Yep maybe a word with the teacher is a good idea. They might announce over the tannoy... Can the parent of...

batters

batters - I meant me - I shouldn't be bothered by (the sight of) naked women. Glad it's just a wiping thing - I'm a bit paranoid about neglect, so that worried me.

charlietherednosepussy - no I wouldn't let my own dd freeze in the interim. I'd wrap a towel around the other girl as best as I could and do her next...

Why are dads (generally) such noodles?!

IMHO you should NOT touch her ie drying her

To see it from another view

What would we all be saying if a MNetter came on here upset?

because a stranger had been drying her DD in the changing rooms?

I think you should speak to the teacher or the dad - he probably hasn't got a clue

RTKM similar thought had crossed my mind but didn't want to be alarmist.

"What would we all be saying if a MNetter came on here upset?
because a stranger had been drying her DD in the changing rooms?"

RTkanga, I'd ask the mumsnetter why she wasn't in the changing room drying her own bloody child!

You have a point though...but there will be plenty of witnesses in the Changing room who can attest to it being nothing dubious.

Sorry didn't mean to sound shocking was just trying to see the problem from all sides

I think that if someone came on here and said their DD had told them for the last few weeks this lady had been drying her

I have a feeling everyone would be horrifed

BUT I DO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE BEEN VERY KIND AND HELPFUL TO THE LITTLE GIRL

sooooooo please do NOT think I think you have been in the wrong

I just would hate it for you to get into troubole for being kind

iyswim

HMC sorry x posts tooooo slow

cos lying on bed and typing one handed

I've not tried that RTK - it must be challenging!

It is!!! and slow

but am being very lazy and should do some housework

I did think of that myself RTKM. Think im going to go with the teacher option.

IMHO that would be the best idea

I think the dad is probably oblivious to the help his DD needs

Good luck charlie - will be interested to hear of outcome.

DP takes DD swimming every weekend and I don't always go with them and so she goes into the changing rooms with him, not sure if its allowed or not but he would never ever let her go in on her own as she's only 5.

I am not sure whether she too would be able to get herself sorted out though, I think its a bit young to expect them to be able to go in and sort themselves out tbh. Her Dad could get her dressed discreetly somewhere if he didn't feel right about taking her into the changing rooms.

Does anyone want to know what happened?

Well I chickened out (but the usual teacher wasnt there so theres a good excuse)
I did say to the little girl, "You are getting your dad to sort you out arent you"...to which she piped up "Im going to do it All By Myself"
Big Nod and "Ok Then" from me

Half way through the lesson the pool was evacuated because someone had pooed. And Im not sure whether another mum was trying to indicate that it was the little girl that had done it or whether I was picking up invisible vibes/looks.

She lingered while I did dds hair in the shower and she got her bag and put it beside our stuff. She stood for a bit before getting her towel out...shivering I must add and she shivered in her towel while I dried dds hair under the hairdryer.
She got dressed herself with Much Effort put into it and im hoping dd is in a different class next term.

Big Wuss.

Oh dear Charlie, never mind. Atleast the end of term isn't far away.

Just have one question for those of you worried about Dd's/Ds's being "surrounded by a sea of penis'"

Now I've never been in a male changing room but from what friends/Dh have implied all men are a little paronoid about seeing each others dangly bits. Surely they just slip off underware and slip on trunks? How many stand around Peter Pan style, naked? Just wondered. If anyone knows different please correct me.

Dh just read the last post and he says...."blokes with small todgers are discreet" Smug expression on his face, snurk.

Is he confessing to being a "Peter Pan Poser" Passionflower?

Oh you lot...stop talking about todgers and peter pan posers...