Will dilemma what would be fair to dp?

[zippitippitoes]

We've been living together for 6 years, I have three children dp has none. I have a house in my name only which we live in bought since we've been living together and it has more than doubled in value. Dp has done a lot of work to it. We are about to build another house in the garden so will take out a mortgage to pay for it, we hope it will be sold at some point to make a profit.

I should write my will, dp refuses to agree to me leaving him anything in it so all would be divided equally between my children.

What should I do with regard to the will to be fair? If I die he will disappear off into the sunset with a bin bag of his bits and pieces.

I'm wondering if you die, would he still be willing to be responsible for your children? If that is the nature of the partnership, then I'd include him, but perhaps you have someone else in minf to look after your children should the worst happen to you. Perhaps he's not willing to take on that responsibility though and that may be in part why he's insistent on you leaving everything to the children.

Only ds is still at school, he leaves next year..and they do have their father.

How about allowing him to live in the house (til he dies) then selling it for your kids?

Or arranging for it to be sold and a smaller house bought with the surplus going to the kids and the smaller house being sold when he dies and then the kids get that

I think you need a bit of legal advise

leave him a percentage of house value?

He is 11 years younger than me too ..I just think we have now built up equity as he has worked hard on this house and will do on the new one and sacrificed an opportunity to make his own savings/pension pot but he won't discuss it.

Who will his assets be left to?

leave him 50% of profits from house sale?

He doesn't have any assets at all, I'm just trying to work out what the average person would think was fair so that I can convince him it is reasonable and accept it.

I've thought about some sort of percentage but I was interested in how someone might independently view it..I find it perplexing

I think it is important to work out who he will leave it to

That way you can decide what you can leave him iyswim

He Could go first - and who would get his share of your house?

He doesn't have a share of the house as we aren't married and it is in my name

I hadn't thought about who he would leave assets inherited from me to..possibly my children..but he does have 5 siblings of his own and some nieces and a nephew

But unless he has a will leaving it to you anything you left him might go to his kids - would they be able to claim it while you were alive - I really think you need legal advise

If you really can't leave it to him, leave him a life time interest in it - i.e. he can live in it whilst he is alove. This also means, if written into will, he can buy/sell and rent out at later dates too. A good wills/probate solicitor should be able to explain all this more clearly to you.

He doesn't have any children just his own brothers and sister and parents, no dependents

Sorry Ztt - hadn't realised your children were older. I guess I'd leave him a percentage of the proceeds of the sale of the house in that case. Whatever you think would be fair. Does he have a good relationship with your children? I think if he does, then this would be a fair thing to do and there aren't likely to be any worries over who got what which is what happened when my Grandfather died. He divided his estate very unfairly, but according to need if you like, so the least well off got most, but while no-one ever said anything, those who got more actually felt bad about it. I've no idea how my uncle felt - he got very little, and while he really isn't in any financial trouble, it seemed a bit unfair to me. I can see your dilemma though.

I would do what hulababy suggests.

If you leave your house to him, and he doesn't make a will, when it dies it will go to his next of kin - which won't be your children. Will go to his brother and sister.

Hulababy's suggestion sounds good, life interest in house so he can live there but your kids get it when he dies. Or split the value of the house between them - but that may mean one of the beneficiaries can force the others to sell/prevent a sale which may be a nightmare. You need to talk to a lawyer who will be able to advise you how to split your estate fairly between your kids and your dh, without leaving a legal muddle or causing resentment between them.

Dividing your estate into four portions - one for each - sounds fair mathematically, but depends whether that would leave your dh homeless. Is the value of the house enough that it would leave dh with enough to buy somewhere else?

Sorry, dp, that's the whole point, isn't it?!

Because the value of the house takes it into inheritance tax bracket there would be tax to pay too unless I persuade him to marry me (hadn't relaised it's 40% too)

The other thing which has struck me is that exh and i have never signed a financial agreement since divorce..I'm wondering whether he could make a claim or (more interestingly)vice versa

Btw, if you ever marry him, you'll have to make a new will.

lol I don't think he'll ask but maybe of course he doesn't want to because then he would be entitled to the share he doesn't want!

The other thing i found out today doing some research on this is that if we aren't married then he can nominate the house we're building as his principle residence and I won't have to move into it before we sell it in order to avoid capital gains tax.

It's all so complicated this is why I always end up putting it off..my sister and her dp don't have wills either and she has no children and an unmarried partner who does have adult children

principal

zippi - won't your dp have built up an entitlement to a share of your house? I mean, you do say that you bought it since you've been living together.

I think as well as everything else, I would investigate the legal position in case dp died first. It would be horrible if one of his relatives decided to make a claim against the house.

I really think this is something you will need to see a GOOD solicitor about - someone who specialises in this area of law. It needs to be very carefullyd rawn up and all eventualities looked at.

Yes, I will see a solicitor, but i wanted to get a fair intention of how i wanted dp and the children to benefit..if i did die and my sister died while it was in probabte then even more of a pickle would ensue and as it stands dp would have no money and no home except through the goodwill of the children/the crown

In fact he would have nothing at all.

I am now slightly worried that exh might stick his oar in too, I don't know if that's possible

How do people decide this when they have second relationships? Or is it unusual for us to be neither pensioners with adult children nor have no child together

Avalon if you aren't married and live in England then your partner doesn't build up an entitlement in the house if it is not in joint names.