my mum won't see my babies grow up

[noops]

the title says it all really,
she has been diagnosed with cnacer of the bladder with spread to liver and lungs
i saw her last week and she is pretty ill, they are talking about palliative chemo, but i am not sure if she will take it or if it will really be worth it for her.
she is pretty ill, vomiting and coughing
i reckon she won't make it past christmas.
i am just so sad that i don't live closer to her and that i have only just had my two children
she is 80 and i am 40 and the children are 2 and 12 weeks
i've just realised, my ds1 loves her but won't even remember her either.
god this is so hard, have just plonked ds1 in fromt of tv which i never do, but he is so whiney when he sees me sad.
out of all of my relatives, my mum is the only one i really understand and love and respect so it is gutting that she won't be around any more.
i will miss her so much...

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So sorry to hear this oops.
Clicked on earlier while feeling very sad about my mil (lovely lady) who has been diagnosed with liver and bowel cancer.
It doesn't look good.

I can't bear the thought that my children might not be enjoying her and all aspects of life with their paternal grandparents for years to come (fil has been in a nursing home for 6 years with dementia.)

It's dreadful isn't it.

Enjoy each day with her-squeeze everything you can out of it.

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Could you get a video camera, make some movies of your mom with the children, Oops? That's what I would do, if I had a chance.

My mom died suddenly 2 years ago. My grandfather died a few weeks ago after a lingering illness when I hadn't seen him for years (he lived in Arizona) so I kind of know how you feel. Particularly my grandfather, he had a very full (military) life & my sons would have loved knowing him.

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Our digital camera only does 1 minute at a time, anyway, little snippets like that might be ok to shoot around your mom coughing & feeling bad... kids love to watch old movies of themselves, anyway.

the letter sounds like a wonderful idea, btw.

I would say write, definitely. It will mean a lot to her - it's really hard when children are around to talk about things properly, isn't it?

I'm so sorry, Oops, I really am x x x x x x

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sorry to hear about your mum oops, i cant imagine how you must be feeling right now, i lost my mum 10 years ago when i was 14 and that was hard. I have missed out on having a mum whilst growing up. My son was born on the 19th oct last year, and that is the same date that i lost mum.....its weird how one life is lost but another is born. It is also strange that ds had to be induced a month early and it happened to be on that day.

Anyway, i just wanna say that my thoughts are with you through you hard times x

Write the letter oops.
I know it's not quite the same but I fully intend to tell my mil that I couldn't have asked for a better one when I next see her,and to tell her how special she is.

noops my thoughts are with you.

It breaks my heart that my father never got to see his grandchildren, and that they will never know him. My belief that he is watching over us helps me to bear it. I talk to my daughters about him and he is a beloved member of their family the same os their other grandparents. I think the best thing you can do for your children and yourself is to talk to them about her so that they may know her though you.

im so sorry to hear about your mum but im sure that you've got nice stories to tell your little ones about their "Special Grandma"

pls spend alot of time with her

My dad died 10 years ago, so never met or even knew about my dd's (3 and 18 months). But me and my Mum took about him loads. And whenever we visit my Mum (2 1/2 hours away) she takes them to his grave. The other day I took dd there and she sat down on the grave stone and started to talk to Grandad, it broke my heart but was also very comforting. So took about your mum loads and try to put lots of photos out of your children with their grandmother. Life can be so hard sometimes, thinking of you.

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oops... i hope youre ok? as ive just read the last post and you've got every right to be angry about your mum but you've got to pull yourself for your kids and dp/dhs sake

Are you still in touch with your sis or Dad?

hello oops
I'm so sorry to hear your news. I think you need to start challenging the family norms and not put up with stuff you don't want to put up with. It sounds as though you might only have a short time to spend with your mum and I'd suggest that you don't get drawn into anything that's going on between your sister and your dad - do what you need to do for you. It's an important and precious time that you won't get back. I imagine that the last thing you will need if she does die soon is feelings of guilt or anger towards other family members for getting in the way of you saying goodbye. You can sort them out afterwards.

Sorry if this seems a bit harsh - I just know how important it is to be how you feel in such a horrible circumstance. If you can't do that, it will manifest itself in other ways later on.

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Oops, I wanted to post on this thread yesterday but had to go urgently. I just wanted to say how very, very sorry I was. We have just gone through this with DP's mother, who died a week ago.

Something that meant a lot to her was a picture DD1 (who is four and loved her a lot) did for her. She had it up on her wall and I think probably looked at it the day she died.

Please email me if you would like.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I'm soooo sorry for you.
I do hope things get better soon and I know not much will help at this time.
I lost my mum to cancer (from the breasts to her liver etc...) When I was 21 and young, my sis had been trying for a baby for yrs and never thought she would be able to concieve. My mum died on the wed and on the sunday my sis found out she was preg! Happy, yet sad news that her children and now mine will never know their 'Grom'.
My mum was 54 and loved life. Keep strong because you will be the link to your childrens wonderful grandmother whom they barely had a chance to get to know. One thing you will always know is that she would be looking down and smiling and be proud of you and your children.
Thinking of you xxx

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oops, i lost my mum 2years ago to cancer she was 72 ds was 1 year she was so ill but all she wanted was to spend time with him as she new he would not remember, we talk everyday about how specile she was and how much she loved him,
even now when he does something new i tell mum in my own way, and let him know how proud she would be of him, thing of you all at this sad time[hugs]

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oops............ I didn't know that this was your thread. I'm so sorry

I'm just up the road if you need a shoulder. (the red road iyswim)

even number divisible by four and two! Less than ten.

CAT if you want!

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Are you able to get up to the hospital and see her for a little while at all?