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Original poster

Why are people so ignorant?

39 replies

galaxy · 31/10/2005 22:04

dd is 3 next week and we've arranged a party at the local soft play place. Sent the invites out two weeks ago which included 6 to her friends at nursery and only 1 has bothered to reply.

She went to nursery today after 1/2 term and asked "xxx" if she was coming to the party. "xxx"is 4 and said "Mummy, says I can't go because there may be children there who aren't like us but I really want to come"! What the hell does that mean? I am fuming. 1. How much effort does it take for any of the 5 ignorant parents to pick up the phone to reply?

dd is upset and says no-oneis coming to her party. I invited 13 and 2 have replied to say can't come, 6 have accepted so that leaves these 5 ignorants from nursery. dh drops dd off at nursery and says he's not surprised as "they're all up themselves". Really really sad about this.

OP posts:
Jackstini · 31/10/2005 22:08

I would get him to ask the Mums to their face when he drops dd off. Say something like "We have not had a reply from you - has it been lost at nursery?" This does give them a get out clause but more importantly find out the answers for your dd. And hopefully embarrasses them into never being so ignorant again!

Socci · 31/10/2005 22:09

Message withdrawn

Original poster
galaxy · 31/10/2005 22:10

The problem is that none of the other mums talk to any one else. dh is really chatty and gets in the queue for the doors to open and tries to strike up a conversation and they are all so snotty.

My sister picks dd up and has said she'll ask dd's carer to point out the mums.

I just get so angry that people don't care.

OP posts:
Original poster
galaxy · 31/10/2005 22:11

Don't know any of them Socci. Of course that adds to the guilt trip I am currently going through

OP posts:
Hulababy · 31/10/2005 22:11

Definitely get your Dh to ask the mums direct if he can - ro to ask the nursery nurses to check with the mums that they deinitely got the invites, etc.

I hate it when people don't let you know.

overdraft · 31/10/2005 22:13

Sod um you wont have to pay for the snotty mums kids and dd will still have a good time.Don't let them make you feel like that who needs them

Socci · 31/10/2005 22:13

Message withdrawn

QueenVictoria · 31/10/2005 22:14

This kind of thing puts me off ever organising parties when my two are older.

Sorry galaxy - it must be really infuriating.

handlemecarefully · 31/10/2005 22:14

Good grief who does the mum of that 4 year old think she is with an attitude like that - "people not like us" for heaven's sake!

Agree, it's frustrating and demoralising when people are too rude to respond to an invitation.

NotQuiteCockney · 31/10/2005 22:15

People are generally rubbish about RSVPs.

But I would be seriously puzzled. "children there who aren't like us"?? Maybe she doesn't want her kids meeting non-ignorant kids?

Seriously, though, do you think it's a race thing? Or a class thing? Or what?

Original poster
galaxy · 31/10/2005 22:15

Anyway, willwait to see what happens if sis can get to ask any of them on Wednesday. Just feel bad for dd. She's going to friends party n Saturday where 20 kids are going and went to one last week where there were 15 so I don't want her to feel sad

Getting nagged now to get off laptop so have to go. 3 glasses of red wine making me feel melancholy

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 31/10/2005 22:16

I agree QueenVic - re organising parties. I'm thinking along the lines of scheduling family holidays to coincide with children's birthdays thus copping out of party nightmare scenario.

Original poster
galaxy · 31/10/2005 22:16

Think it's a class thing.

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 31/10/2005 22:17

Definitely a class thing. Can spot it a mile off. Have met people like that.

expatinscotland · 31/10/2005 22:19

Having immediate family abroad and a) one kid born near the end of the school term in June b) another due around Xmas has its advantages!

'No worries, kids! We'll have a party for you at Grandma and Grandpa's!'

No need to worry about my large, extended family missing a good party there.

NotQuiteCockney · 31/10/2005 22:20

Ah, fair enough. I think, if I heard this in Canada, I'd assume it was a race thing.

I don't think Canadians are more racist necessarily, although the really racist ones always start their racist drivel by saying "I'm not racist, but ", which is helpful of them.

edam · 31/10/2005 22:28

"People not quite like us, darling" is middle-class code for "people we look down on who may watch ITV/allow children to eat sausage rolls in their buggy/insert stereotype of your choice.

Stupid cow. God help her poor daughter growing up in that kind of atmosphere.

Really sorry about this but however miserable it is not to get replies, you are far better off without the offspring of pathetic people like this.

handlemecarefully · 31/10/2005 22:33

Absolutely!

ggglimpopo · 31/10/2005 22:35

Message withdrawn

moondog · 31/10/2005 22:38

Another complete aside...ggg,are you and beetroot friends in RL (well ykwim) or did you meet on MN?
Is she still with you?

As you were ladies
(and yes,galaxy,people are rude and thoughtless like this.)

PrettyCandles · 31/10/2005 22:48

Aren't you blowing it up out of proportion a bit? With both birthday parties that we have so far organised for ds, most parents didn't respond to the invitations and I had to chase and chase them - OK I agree that that is lazy and rude. But what a 4yo reports having heard may bear very little relationship to fact, so getting all upset about presumed snobbery or racism seems a little extreme. One reason for the child's report that jumps to mind immediately is that perhaps her family are Jehova's Witnesses, and don't go to parties at all. It would fit perfectly well.

Save yourself the aggro, and just accept that most of the parents of invitees will be lazy and that you will always have to chase responses.

handlemecarefully · 31/10/2005 22:59

It's rude not lazy, although it's quite possibly lazy and rude! (really must go to bed)

Think the Jehovah's witness possible explanation is a bit less likely than the more statistically probable scenario of middle class up herself self proclaimed socially 'superior' mum. Have recently been to a child's birthday party in Winchester where I met a mum (used to be an Investment Banker daaaahling!) who was just like this.

Beetroot · 31/10/2005 23:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

foundintranslation · 01/11/2005 01:32

sounds like a class thing.
the 'they're not like us' argument was used by my parents about dh's (then dp's) parents as a major reason for them being against our relationship.
My parents ended up cutting me off over it. So sadly I don't think this woman is far-fetched at all.

foundintranslation · 01/11/2005 01:33

that is, my parents were against our relationship, not my ils.