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Original poster

So sick of the assumption that I receive benefits and work cash in hand

41 replies

colditz · 17/10/2005 22:05

So many people assume that it is free to live in my house! When I moaned that my rent had gone up, all I got was disgusted looks and comments like "Surely your benefits pay for that?"

Well, no, actually, they don't. My wages pay for it, like they pay for my council tax, and all my other bills.

I have real empathy for people who exist on benefits, because I know how they get treated, as I get treated like that all the time.

I am so bloody tired at the minute, dp and I work opposite shifts, 5 and 6 days a week, so we don't have to use the inadequate childcare in our area, so we are always on our own with our son and the housework. Sometimes, if I have to go to Tesco after work, I get 10 minutes alone with him before one of us is asleep. Oh, and I am up the duff, for those who didn't know.

Totally irrelevant, all of it, but I do everything a decent prole is supposed to do, and I really do not need comments like " But you don't need to worry about that, do you?"

OP posts:
startingtobehalloweenylover · 17/10/2005 22:13

you need some witty replies!

i get it too.... although not to that extent!

an acquaintance came over to pick something up the other day and asked if i had applied for a house yet
"i assume this is a council place?"

actually no, i PAY FOR IT

doormat · 17/10/2005 22:15

colditz dont let people get you down, I know it is easier said than done but just rise above it. Are they all snobs etc who say these snide comments etc.
As for the working hard and hardly seeing eachother I can understand you fully there as I hardly see my dh as he works nights and long hours, it is hard and 10 mins is lovely just to grab together.
Keep being proud of yourself and your dh, as long as you are both happy thats all that matters.Screw the rest.
Congratulations btw on your pg

milward · 17/10/2005 22:18

agree with doormat - what's important is you & your family. best wishes for your pregnancy - my ds4 is 3 wks today

MrsSpoon · 17/10/2005 22:19

When DS1 was little we were living in a flat and someone said to me when pg "nevermind" (think she presumed pregnancy was a mistake) "you'll get a house now"! Eh??? Explained to her that I had a house and a mortgage already, thank you.

Some people!

MrsSpoon · 17/10/2005 22:19

Of course that shouldn't say "When DS1 was little" it should say "when pg with DS1".

Original poster
colditz · 17/10/2005 22:44

The thing is, my house is a housing association house, and if I was on benefits, the rent would be paid, but I'm not, so it isn't. I have to pay it, and it is much higher than a council rent.

God, I have got such a chip on my shoulder about this and I don't know why. I am being very silly to care.

I am a bit scared that if I take ds to a 'nice' playgroup, nobody will talk to me if they find out where I live, which they will cos when they ask I can't lie.

OP posts:
monstersmummy · 17/10/2005 22:46

can i ask or not?

milward · 17/10/2005 22:46

colditz -people who judge on an address aren't worth knowing. At least if some people do this you know who isn't a proper friend & can avoid them as well.

soapbox · 17/10/2005 22:48

Colditz - if they're that shallow then you wouldn't want them as friends would you????

I can see why it is irritating to work so hard for what you have yet have it denigrated by other people. In the end though - you can hold your head up high can't you - and you know that counts for an awful lot

Original poster
colditz · 17/10/2005 22:53

I know, I know, I am being very silly about this. You are right, I wouldn't want to talk to them if they were that judgemental.

I just hate assumptions. People always assume things. If they know me personally, but not what I do or where I live, they assume I am well educated and work in an office somewhere. If they know what I do and where I live, but not me personally, they assume I am thick and chavvy.

and I've got a cold sob

OP posts:
MiladyMarsLady · 17/10/2005 22:56

colditz... congratulations

I hope that things improve for you all and that you have a happy, healthy pregnancy.

soapbox · 17/10/2005 22:57

Oh Colditz - it works the other way too you know

People make all sorts of assumptions about me too - but few of them are right!

Trickorflum · 17/10/2005 22:58

fWhy do peeps think you are on benefits?

milward · 17/10/2005 23:00

just hate people who judge like that. I don't fit the mould where I am & some school mums just ignore me!! really don't care!!! I'm doing fine with my family - that's what is important to me.

Original poster
colditz · 17/10/2005 23:04

Cos I live on a council estate Flum.

I don't mind if they don't go on to be snide about people who live on benefits, but most of them do anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
colditz · 17/10/2005 23:04

They are quite often Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells types though.

OP posts:
soapbox · 17/10/2005 23:05

Oh well - who'd want to live in Tunbridge Wells anyway

Original poster
colditz · 17/10/2005 23:07

LOL Soapbox, exactly.

OP posts:
milward · 17/10/2005 23:09

not much happening after peterborough!!

soapbox · 17/10/2005 23:09

LOL - Wonder how many MNers we've pissed off now

You really need Custardo don't you? She's so good at the one line put downs that you really need!!!

charliebat · 17/10/2005 23:10

Heyy...I live in tunbridge wells and I live in a H/A propery and I pay my rent...

soapbox · 17/10/2005 23:11

I knew that would happen

charliebat · 17/10/2005 23:12

Its all right..I think im the only one...the rest have nannys and dishwashers and ironing ladys. Im normal

soapbox · 17/10/2005 23:13

MMmmm - so do I - but I wouldn't look down my nose at anyone who doesn't

charliebat · 17/10/2005 23:14

Oh gawd.......

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