So sick of the assumption that I receive benefits and work cash in hand

[colditz]

So many people assume that it is free to live in my house! When I moaned that my rent had gone up, all I got was disgusted looks and comments like "Surely your benefits pay for that?"

Well, no, actually, they don't. My wages pay for it, like they pay for my council tax, and all my other bills.

I have real empathy for people who exist on benefits, because I know how they get treated, as I get treated like that all the time.

I am so bloody tired at the minute, dp and I work opposite shifts, 5 and 6 days a week, so we don't have to use the inadequate childcare in our area, so we are always on our own with our son and the housework. Sometimes, if I have to go to Tesco after work, I get 10 minutes alone with him before one of us is asleep. Oh, and I am up the duff, for those who didn't know.

Totally irrelevant, all of it, but I do everything a decent prole is supposed to do, and I really do not need comments like " But you don't need to worry about that, do you?"

I have a dish washer actually

I had a choice of a bedroom carpet (A, not a new) or a dishwasher.

I think I made the wiser choice

Colditz - that is a seriously weird choice

Would you like an old carpet or a dishwasher!!!!

Charliecat - you see assumptions work both ways

I like to think I'm normal too

No, I mean a new carpet, but to cover the floor boards, not replace the old one. Because we didn't have one at all, and still dont.

I don't care either, I have really shiny cutlery instead.

Oh I'd rather have a dishwasher than a carpet too. And as for anyone looking down their noses, colditz - sod 'em.

One of my friends has a Masters degree in Economics. People tend to assume she is a barmaid or similar because she is pretty and has a local accent. She gets very angry too.

She can get quite Tory about it

We live in a Housing Association House which We pay for and the council tax which is so high and I didn't realise how much our address bothered me till we moved. Until June we lived on a council Estate in a flat. If anyone asked where I lived I would always say 'off such and such road' or 'Near to so and so' without actually saying 'W* Estate'

We moved in June only 5 minutes down the road to a house on a private road (I mean most houses private and whats left of the HA ones have been bough apart from 2) I now find myself giving out the name of the road etc... but it never occurred to me till we moved how I used to act about where we lived.

I am so sorry this has turned into a bizarre rant

I do have an ironing lady actually, its my mum and she does it for free
I used ot live somewhere that you wouldnt mention to anyone and would never invite anyone round as it was so bloody awful.
Its shite having to pay rent when the rest of your neighbours dont.
Now live somewhere else. Round the corner of crap estate but not on it..can pretend I dont IYKWIM

congratulations Colditz.

btw - if snotty feckers at playgroup wont talk to you becuase of where you live - why would you want to talk to them? they are obviously arse farts.

i get both scenarios actually. i get the one you describe where people think your on benefits.

i also work for a HA so i get loads of rezzies saying to me " oh its alright for you going back to your posh house ....we have to live here!"

posh house my arse
confucious say wise words "F*ck'em"

oh I agree about the carpet - we've got a dishwasher - but no carpet in our bedroom - and quite frankly even when we do have money to spend bedroom carpet is a LONG way down the list of priorities.

They're stupid, insenstive, arogant (sp) and pathetic people if they're making comments like that - I'd tell them to go screw themselves.

I'll soon be able to sympathise slightly with you on the tiredness front. - as I'll be working 3 nights a week from 9.45pm-7.30am - while DH will be working his 1.30pm-9pm hours.

and as for 'areas' - who gives a shit where you live - I'm now off the Q*** estate (thankgod - it was going downhill very rapidly), but my two best friends live on the other 2 council estates - one of them which has the 2nd worst reputation in the country! But you know what, they're both the most fantastic friends I could ever hope for.

You got the job QoQ? Congrats
(Been away for a week and not keeping up)
Sorry for (bleary-eyed early-morning) hijack!
Back on topic, we live on a 'bad' estate - which is OK really, just has the reputation because a lot of ( horror) foreigners live there - and while no-one presumes I'm on benefits, people look all concerned and ask how it isliving there - until they come and visit us.

??? That was my first attempt at italics

I went to a state school and had lots of friends from the council estate. My parents scrimped and saved and sent me to a posh school, where I picked up a posh accent. All of my council estate friends hated me and called me posh and wouldn't play with me any more. I lived in the same place and as I grew up got lots of aggro from people calling me a posh bitch and telling me to eff off if they heard me speak.

Now I get terrified of talking to people in case they think I'm posh and hate me by default. In fact, my PIL do hate me because they think I'm posh and look down on them, when in fact, I always adored them.

So, it goes both ways!

One have my friends has fought tooth and nail to get her dd into a really posh state school.
She done it and shes over the moon but im wondering how the dd is going to feel when every one else is of on skiing holiday and to the 2nd home in Spain or whatever and shes at home with mum shopping at Primark.
A bit like you pinotgrigio I would think.

Have to say I lived in a council flat for years, in fact dh and I only don't now, due to the unfortunate loss of his parents, which enabled us to get onto the housing ladder so can totally symphathise with what your saying about people and address, where we used to live, no one would even give us credit, as the block address was soo bad for people doing a runner......I know it sounds easy to say, but address isn't everything, people should be able to see by that, but I know they can't always.....don't let em grind you down, you won't be there forever!

CB. You're right. IME it's pretty tough at a posh private school if you can't keep up. I used to go to pool parties in massive million pound detached houses and then go home to our crumbling semi!

Even now there is a difference between me and my friends from school. I make my own way financially and have done ok but have really worked for it. They get 10K cheques and cars from their parents (even though we are all in our 30s!) and will inherit 3million pound houses.

I'll definitely make sure that I can back it up if I send DD to a private school.