The cost of Christmas ...

[Ghosty]

Hello ...
I am beginning to get a bit stressed about the cost of Christmas and everything leading up to and after it ...
This is how it stands ...
At the end of this month we have a Rates bill ... and we have to renew our house and contents insurance (premiums went up due to claim earlier this year due to burglary) ... then, at the end of November it is DS' birthday, then we have Christmas - MIL, SIL and BIL coming to stay for xmas and New Year (so we have to feed them for 2 weeks) ... then in January our new baby is due ....
I am not sure how the finances are going to stretch. DH will get a bonus in December (don't know how much) ... that will help but we really want to put that into saving for our house (which needs extensive work doing) ... and so don't want the bonus to be swallowed up but other things ...
Not to mention the credit card bill ...
What tips????

Urk, well you just missed the July sales which to be honest is when I picked up some Xmas prezzies.

I heard last year that the max you should spend for Xmas presents and all the Xmas festivities is 1% to 1.5% of your total annual income. Apparently a lot of people spend more than that.

Any cash the kids get we don't tell them about, to be honest, and if I was truly strapped I wouldn't feel bad about taking that money and using it for house bills -- the kids live there, too, after all.

Can you pay any of the bills and insurance via direct debit over the year? That might help a little bit. And make sure you shop around for your insurance, it can make a huge difference. We have had 2 claims in past 2 years, and just moved into city centre. Our best quote after a weekend on the net and phone was with Endsleigh.

Can you start buying some little bits of presents now until Christmas? Even just getting one or two out of the way might help.

Do you buy for each other? If so, have you considered waiting until he New Year for your presents?

AS for the family, buy a huge turkey for Christmas and give them left over turkey sandwiches for the following week! Sorry, not very helpful this bit I know.

For a start off I think you should ask your In-Laws for a donation towards their keep for two weeks. I certainly would not dream of expecting someone to look after me for two weeks.

There are some sales still around, especially for toys. Check the internet, that's always a good source for a great deal. Generally just cut down on what you spend on everyone, tell DH that you won't be buying presents for each other this year.

Cut up your credit card....ouch!!!!

Thanks for that ... I have started buying some things for Christmas ... just little things for DS too.
We won't buy for eachother this year ... DH got a bloody expensive watch last year with his bonus and I have told him that he won't be getting anything like that this year ... (of course, if he chooses to buy me a nice platinum/diamond eternity ring that is another thing ... only kidding!)
I don't feel I can ask MIL to contribute as we invited her ... in order to avoid having to go to her house which wouldn't have been much cheaper as it is a fair way to travel and the last time we went there we ended up buying most of the food anyway ... Oh and I will be 36 weeks pregnant and an 8 hr drive + 3 hour ferry crossing + 2 hour drive will not be my idea of fun!
The rates I can't put on direct debit as the bill comes quarterly anyway ... and for some reason they don't give you the option ... but will look into the DD option for the insurance ... Oh ... and I have to send pressies home to the UK for my family ... well, I don't have to but I really want to ......

Maybe it's a chance to show your flair for homemade pressies also.
Every year I "try" to get a large batch of Rumtopf and chutney made, then in small nicely labelled kilner jars they can take up a large proportion of those token pressies which I find every year seem to increase. They can also replace that bring a bottle thing at dinner parties.
Getting the kids to help also works and can teach them the value of such things also.
Don't know if this much help but good luck and btw congrats on the pgncy.

It is difficult when you need to save money but still want to carry on the same as before. We moved house about 18 months ago and had to save up like mad for about six months before we could afford to do it. Good job as well as the house we ended up buying was far more than we originally planned for.

My only other tip would be to make as much of your own food as possible, as buying ready made stuff is always a lot more expensive.

How about making your own presents this year, especially for the In-Laws. A nice cheap photo frame with a photo of your DS in it. All Grans should love that!

But above all look after yourself and try not to stress too much, after all christmas is supposed to be a time of enjoying yourself and not about who bought what for whom. Although I suspect that this is not always the case!

Eternity ring will definitely have to wait!!

At 36 weeks preg I think your in-laws should be standing you a few meals out/take-aways. Any chance of that?

Ghosty, if you can't ask them for a contribution, why can't your DH, they're his family after all, and especially if you ended up buying most of the food when you visited them last time! And I'd be inclined to take it very easy and let them all pitch in as well, you should be putting your feet up at 36 weeks not running around cooking and cleaning, nor having the stress of worrying about money. Not much of a help, tho ...

Ghosty, I sympathise. What about making Christmas presents? ideas I've used in the past are here or, for the UK ones, could you order online now while it's still sale time-ish, and get them sent direct to someone in the UK who can dole them out nearer the time? Am I right in thinking your MIL is a complete PITA or am I thinking of someone else? If so, ooh, sorry you've got her this year! Food, hmm, that's trickier, 2 weeks is a LONG time to feed an extra 3 adults. Are there children too? I hope they (adults I mean) will contribute or at least shop. Do you think they will? I agree about each other, I don't think we're going to get anything for each other either this year, and can you get away with a bit less for your ds this year? Ds was so inundated one year I could easily have got away with about 50% less presents. If not, go for quantity rather than quality! Those are my thoughts, will post more if I think of anything useful. Sympathies though, I know the feeling.

This year I've promised myself I'm going to be brave and do something I've thought about for years. I am going to say to all the adults we buy presents for - and it gets so out of hand, doesn't it, you end up spending a fortune on something they probably don't want or need - that we should just buy token presents.

A bottle of wine, a box of chocs, a really nice bottle of bubble bath, some stationery..something SMALL. I guess most adults are like us - if we want something, we buy it (within reason, we are not the Beckhams!) At Christmas we just get loads of expensive stuff we really don't need - eg.,a George Foreman Health Grill we've used twice, a vacuum sealing bag thingy we've never used, a stupid all singing all dancing corkscrew that is nowhere near as good as the £3.99 one we bought in Tesco.

I don't intend to apply this to kids - it's nice to get children something they will really appreciate (and easy..kids are easy to buy for in comparison to adults).

It just takes a bit of courage to bite the bullet and do it..but Ghosty, you have the perfect excuse of a new (expensive!) baby on the way.

I'm heartened by my bil's wife who said to me last year "shall we just get presents for the kids this year..we never know what to get you.." I wasn't offended (more like relieved, one less pressie to get) so I'm hoping others will respond in a similar way...

Again ... thanks all ...
Will definitely think of making pressies ... and will try to make some chutneys ... it is about time I learned after all ... and we have loads of fruit trees in our garden (although I don't think that anything will be ripe until Feruary or March ...) does anyone know any recipes for pear chutney??
WWW ... my MIL is a minor PITA ... it is my Step MIL who is the complete PITA!! And that was one of the other reasons we decided to ask MIL to come - so that we could avoid seeing FIL and his delightful (not) wife!
MIL is lovely when she comes to us but for some reason is a total witch when we go to her (so another reason for her to come here) ...
SIL and BIL only announced last week that they are coming to NZ for xmas ... they live in New York ... so we have no choice in them staying. I do really like them and get on really well with BIL ... (lovely charming American who looks a bit like a film star) so having them around is no problem ... just the cost ... I think that they could contribute - but will ask DH to ask them ... - she is a top designer working for DKNY so she isn't short of cash!
It is so hard isn't it? There are so many things I want to get DS ... being a billion miles from home he won't get much from my family (they will probably send easy to send stuff like clothes) and the In Laws are pretty crap at presents for children (DS did not get one present from them last year ... not even from the nice SIL and BIL) ... and he is so in need of good toys that are more 'boysie' than 'toddlery' IYSWIM ... having 11 months between xmas and birthday means he has grown out of a lot of his stuff from last year and for some reason the difference between 3 and 4 seems vast ... he really wants Action Man and Hot Wheels and stuff like that ... and I so want him to have them ...
Sorry ... I am really rambling on ...
Thanks for listening ...

Its the little things that make christmas, i remember one year my mum cut out a tiny mouse hole in the wall. She always had a pottery mouse on the floor, on christmas morning i woke up to see a litte stocking for it full of cheese,and a tiny present. Also she found a spare sheet of dragonfly wallpaper from my bedroom, cut them all out, stuck them around the house and told me they had been flying around all night

Ghosty you may find that your overseas guests are more than happy to contribute to Xmas!

DH is a Kiwi and we are lousy at sending pressies over for birthday/Xmas (even worse now his mum is dead and she doesn't remind us of forthcoming birthdays) but when we arrive in NZ, we're always thrilled with how far our sterling goes.

The main reason for being bad at sending pressies is getting it so badly wrong the first year we were married. Young, fairly affluent, child-free, we took a stroll through Hamleys and spent around 20 quid per nephew (we have six and this was ten years ago), wrapped, paid postage, only to find the presents we had chosen were duplicates of stuff they had already

But we've never been houseguests anywhere - with his family in NZ or mine in Canada - without picking up the grocery bill on a regular basis.

And Christmas shopping in NZ is such a novelty compared with anywhere in the Northern Hemishpere in my experience! It's difficult not to spend money because everything seems like such a bargain.

I would be completely shameless and email your rellies in NYC with prices of the toys your DS wants. Ask if they are cheaper in NYC than in NZ and if so could they pick them up over there. It will give them some ideas and also may give you a bargain.

Instead of asking them to contribute towards food, could you ask them to bring something specific? Turkey, wine, cake... it will all help. Play the "I'm soo tired/heavily pregnant it would be so kind if youcould bring XXX" card and they'll feel they are doing something nice for you rather than doing a chore IYSWIM!

I'll have a look for pear recipes - I'm sure you can preserve them in alcohol...

Ho Ghosty, I personally wouldnt ask for any contributions as I have invited them but if they offered to contribute I would accept.But that is me.I think you will get offered anyway.

As for the food, have you got a spare freezer at home. Before I got married (for months) every time I seen an offer on in local shops or Tescos I would buy it and put it in deep freeze. I did all the catering and it saved me a fortune as all I had to get the day before was the bread, rolls and fresh stuff.It wasnt such a huge bill the day before and that helped.

As for prezzies the homemade stuff idea is excellent.Every time you pop to the shops buy your ds a prezzie,even if it is something small, as you wont want to be traipsing around the shops at that time anyway because you will be heavily pg.
HTH

what I mean to say is stock up as much as you can before crimbo

I agree with doormat. If you have a freezer stock up on all the buy 1 get 1 free offers at the supermarkets.

Agree with the buy 1 get 1 free idea - might sdeem to be some strange combinations, but will all get used for something in the end. Especially do that with basics like loo roll as well as food!

Almost everytime we have a family get together we have a 1 course each system - each person/couple/family unit contributes a course towards each meal. It was awkward asking at first, but now that extended family has grown (BIL's finding partners etc) its become the norm.

Not neccessarily relevent for your big (and prolonged) get together, but I agree with SoupDragon they will probably want to help, and asking for specific things makes itr easier for everyone. There are plentty of things that travel well!!

Whenever we have guests I plan one main meal a day plus breakfast; if they are visiting they will probably want to do some sight-seeing and they/or you all will be out somedays for lunch. On days your at home all day just get some cheese and crackers - keep it really simple!!! Your pregnancy gives you ghreat excuse for this, and remember they are coming to see you, not the contents of your larder.

Apologies for typos!

Ah, Ghosty, it's your step MIL that's the PITA, I remember now! Just had another thought, what about charity shops? Do you have them there? I bought ds a couple of 50p jigsaws from Oxfam last year and he was really pleased (he did get other stuff as well!). Or nearly new sales? Jumble sales? Your ds won't know and it could be v cheap. Great idea about shamelessly asking all relatives to check out prices of toys etc in NYC and so on too.

For my mother and brothers we have a contest to see who can buy the best or most unusual present for £6, it can comprise of a few things together or just one thing but it can only cost £6.

Lol during xmas to see what everyone gets for £6. Also we don't buy lots of £6 presents we only buy one for one person as everyone is allocated someone to buy for. Names in a hat job. It saves a fortune.

I will also be making some presents this year, haven't decide what but something for those people who don't have children and who won't accept the "lets just buy for the children this year" line.

I know how horrid it sounds but if your husbands family aren't going to contribute to the costs then you should feed them accordingly. One of my favorites for those kinds of long stop overs is tinned salmon and cheese sauce topped with mashed potato. Put on some veg and hey presto a cheap meal for all. My dd loves this dish but dp and I eat cheese on toast after everyones gone to bed (he he he).

Try Hawkind Bazarr (I love that place) for different but cheap gifts.

Most importantly enjoy the family being with you and having to stick to your rules for 2 weeks - delegate cleaning duties and cooking some days.

Can you not ask them for specific contributions - like crackers, xmas pud, stuffing etc if that is what they are expecting. Don't know what it is like in NZ but we can't get all the traditional items living abroad so often get other people to bring them over for us.

Also agree that toys may be cheaper in US - perhaps you could order over the internet and get them delivered to BIL to bring over.

Thanks for all the ideas and support everyone!
We don't have a big seperate freezer, but DH is going to look at the second hand outlets today to see how much they are ... we'll get one that we can just put in the garage ... we have been saying for ages that we need one (want one anyway for all that EBM when the baby comes ). Will see how we get on with that.
I still don't like the idea of asking for financial contributions ... but will ask SIL and BIL to cook dinner a couple of times I think ... great idea about checking out the toy prices in NYC ... will do that too!
SueW ... unfortunately we have now been here too long for the benefit of the exchange rate! We now think in dollars, not sterling and so everything 'feels' as expensive as it did in the UK ... although I know that $30 buys a lot more than 10 quid IYKWIM ... but I appreciate the thought!
It is really easy to buy cheap toys here but cheap means cheap quality and cheap toys break within days. Many of our kiwi friends rave about the quality of the ELC toys that we have. There is a shop where you can buy ELC toys in Auckland but they are shockingly expensive ... So unfortunately if you want quality toys (that don't disintegrate) you hav to pay for the names (Fisher Price/ Chicco etc)
Lizs ... Kiwis are paranoid about food imports to this country. It is impossible to ask rellies to bring in food unfortunately (would have been a great idea) ... they charge you $200 if you have an apple in your hand luggage. The only things they allow are Baby milk and chocolate ... not worth the risk as all luggage is x rayed on arrival ...
So ... I will a) look into making things for rellies here .... b) investigate on line shopping for the UK rellies ... c) find a second hand freezer (needed to anyway) and d) start stocking up on things now ... expecially the pricey stuff like wine etc ... (not that wine is that pricey here ... )
Thanks again everyone

i'll be selling my chest freezer soon. if u're near herts and can collect it make me an offer and i'll see what i can do. its only a year old.

misdee ... that is so kind of you! Except that I am in New Zealand ... LOL Don't think my DH would think kindly of me forking out for a trip back to blighty to pick up a freezer!!
Thanks all the same ...