whinge alert! (indulgence required)

[lucy123]

Having a strange day today. I have many many reasons to be happy:

1. its my birthday
2. more people have remembered this year than any time since I was about 6 (probably due to 2 years of whinging about my birthday being made to signify ALL THAT IS EVIL. I know its selfish and petty, but I can't help wishing that people would refer to 11 Sep 2001, or the outrageous attacks on the US or something instead)
3. I got all the cards on time this year due to having moved back to civilisation.
4. We also have adsl now so I can surf again (hurrah! )

But I'm feeling low because, as usual, DP has acted as if it is a normal day. No tea in bed, no prezzie (and I don't want much). Admittedly, it's because he has too much work and no money (we've just moved house and he did say happy birthday - he hasn't forgotten), but a cup of tea costs nothing!!!

Also feel stupid as he does this every year as funnily enough, every year there's something going on. Hormones maybe. Also really fancy a fag, but have to wait until the new baby is born.
And there's no cake in the house.

Am I being unreasonable?

Grommit - our posts crossed but obviously we're both thinking along the same wavelength!!

Ooh, the other posts weren't there when I was typing but we're all saying BUY CAKE!

This thread is all in the wrong order on my screen. Anyone else? I haven't flipped it.

No, you're so not being unreasonable or anything. I got sod all but a card on my b.day which he ran out & bought from Sainsbuy's the night before!!!!! I was so insulted that he hadn't given my b.day any thought or effort. I don't care about money he could have put thought into a card and made me feel good just by being sweet to me but oh no. So if I were you I'd go out and buy myself a cake AND candles and sit in the kitchen with it until he notices you!!!!!!!
He heee, maybe make yourself a paper crown and it he asks why you are wearing such a thing tell him you're treating YOURSELF like a princess becasue you deserve it!!!!!
BTW - it's my DP b.day on Mon and he is getting sweet FA! I'll get him a card from DD but that's it! Two wrongs and all that I know but there is NO way I'm doing ANYTHING nice after being so horrid to me all day on my birthday and making me cry!
Anyway - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU _ Hope you do end up having a lovley day even if you make that happen not DH! Lots of love xx {{{{}}}}

www - thats just happened to me on another thread. I wonder if the mumsnet clock has gone wrong or something if you look at the times on the posts.

thanks everyone.

I think I've found all the message through this spooky muddled-up order business!

This thread all higgledy piggledy on my screen too.

If it's any consolation it was my birthday a couple of weeks ago and my dh acted in exactly the same way. I tried explaining to him how dissapointed I was but I just sounded stupid and childish. I want him to pamper me because he thinks I deserve it, not because I whinge!

On the other hand, my BF boyfiend did the most wonderful thing for her birthday last week. He invited her round to his place for 8pm, and when she got there the place was full of candles. Robbie was playing on the hi fi (she LOVES robbie), he had laid a picnic rug in the lounge and had prepared a picnic with all her favourire yummy foods. They drank champagne and then watched Officer & a gentleman (her favourite film)then he gave her a silver tiffany heart cause she's always wanted one. And they've only been going out 3 months!

Will this all change if she marries him?

No! Please tell me he got you a card.... and free back/foot rub vouchers would have been a good idea and free!

I think you need to go and get lots of cake asap and eat the whole lot - don't save any for dp!

I'm a bit bonkers when it comes to birthdays, but fortunately dp knows this and supplies presents and fuss. Even if we were broke I'm sure she'd come up with something though....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY anyway and hope this evening gets a bit better - demand some special attention!

Lisa123 - birthdays are a funny time - I always get more emotional/touchy on my birthday. Men are generally insensitive - it just does not occur to them to do something as simple as a cuppa in bed! I always buy dh a cake but it never occurs to him to do this for me! Go out and buy yourself a nice treat - big box of chocs and scoff the lot! HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Oh Shit - my message got lost.
Jist of it was - go and buy yourself a big cake, and candles and materials req to make yrslef a crown.
Wear crown and sit with cake and lit candles until he notices!!!!!!!!!!
If he asks what you wished for - say you wished you didn't have to treat yourself like a princess on your birthday and you wished a big handsomne man would come along and make you feel extra special!!!!!!!!!!Hope you have a lovley birthday, eventually!!!!!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU xx {{{}}}}}

Eeek! What on earth's going on with this thread?? Where does it start?

It's posted my post in the middle! Weird!

On the tea/present/effort bit, no, you're not being unreasonable. I'd be cross too. Even if you have no money, he could have done something cheap - croissants in bed, framed a picture for you, given you a book of home made tokens (for a night out when you can afford it, that kind of thing). Presumably he knows this is important to you so I do think he should have made an effort. Hey, and the thing about the date is that people talk about 9/11 the American way, so for me that would make it less of an issue I think, since I don't think of 9/11 as the 11th Sept. But that's almost certainly just me. It must be irritating.

OK, here's a plan:

• Go out, buy Cake. And anything else you want. Heat, other crappy mags, or library books or a video or anything that'll mean you treat yourself and have a relaxing day. Skive if you have to work.
• Get bubble bath if you haven't got any. And chocolate,
• Come home, eat chocolate in the bath. Read mags/watch vid, be nice to yourself.

No, you can't have a fag but you can have a glass of wine so get something nice while you're at it (half a bottle of Champagne? Chablis?) and drink some of that as part of your celebrations. It probably is your hormones though too, they will settle down, know the feeling, horrible isn't it? Think you're due November IIRC so not long to go now (not sure that this is a cheering thought but there you go). Anyway, that's what I'd do. Happy Birthday.

Lucy - just wanted to add I totally understand how you feel. My Dh like a low-key birthday with no fuss and the opportunity to play golf. I get him a pressie and card from me and one from DS (get DS to draw in it) and make him a cake (no candles because he doesn't like fuss). I fit round his golf game but might arrange for the three of us to go for a meal or might get a take-away (a treat for us).

For each of my in-laws (MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL) birthdays we are required to be present and there is a birthday meal either home or out and a cake with candles.

When its my birthday I would like a bit of spoiling and a bit of fuss. I get present from SIL when she happens to see me (ie maybe a couple of weeks later), Next voucher from MIL, big fuss about what to buy me from DH, present eventually wrapped in paper I have bought and thats about it. Apart from that I refuse to cook so we generally have a take-away.

Sorry I feel guilty about whinging on your thread now. And I've no advice about how to get through to your DP about it because its all very well indulging yourself as the others have suggested but its not the same as DP doing it, is it? Still do it though.

I'm going mad today and need to stop looking at this bloody site!!!!!! You now have 2 posts from me, it didn't get lost at all!

Hurray - I got back to the top.

Agggggghhhhhhhhhhh - thread has lost it not me!!!!!! Thank God, means I can still play on here rather than work!!!!!!!!

so is this thread back to normal now?

thanks everyone. Should do those things. Maybe some icecream too (and jelly? )

Bozza - whinge away! it's nice to know I'm not the only one!

You def not the only one hon', sad to say, I got totally ignored on mine and it bloody well better not happen again!

ThomCat, I am trying to work too and I keep getting sucked into these threads. My DH did NOTHING for me this year on my Birthday, he did say Happy Birthday, but no card, no nothing. He is a jewel, he lets me be compulsive and shop on ebay, never complains for a meal, he is gorgeous...I am convinced there are just some things you need to do for yourself or...depend on your girlfriends to do them for you, because they are the ones that really understand! I adore my DH, but if I wait for him to do something I would consider sweet on my birthday and equate that with love in any sense of the word--I believe I would be sad alot....Try to blow it right off and nuture you! Happy Birthday to you from across the ocean from the new big mouth mumsnetter with all good intentions!

ThomCat, I am trying to work too and I keep getting sucked into these threads. My DH did NOTHING for me this year on my Birthday, he did say Happy Birthday, but no card, no nothing. He is a jewel, he lets me be compulsive and shop on ebay, never complains for a meal, he is gorgeous...I am convinced there are just some things you need to do for yourself or...depend on your girlfriends to do them for you, because they are the ones that really understand! I adore my DH, but if I wait for him to do something I would consider sweet on my birthday and equate that with love in any sense of the word--I believe I would be sad alot....Try to blow it right off and nuture you! Happy Birthday to you from across the ocean from the new big mouth mumsnetter with all good intentions!

ThomCat, I am trying to work too and I keep getting sucked into these threads. My DH did NOTHING for me this year on my Birthday, he did say Happy Birthday, but no card, no nothing. He is a jewel, he lets me be compulsive and shop on ebay, never complains for a meal, he is gorgeous...I am convinced there are just some things you need to do for yourself or...depend on your girlfriends to do them for you, because they are the ones that really understand! I adore my DH, but if I wait for him to do something I would consider sweet on my birthday and equate that with love in any sense of the word--I believe I would be sad alot....Try to blow it right off and nuture you! Happy Birthday to you from across the ocean from the new big mouth mumsnetter with all good intentions!

ThomCat, I am trying to work too and I keep getting sucked into these threads. My DH did NOTHING for me this year on my Birthday, he did say Happy Birthday, but no card, no nothing. He is a jewel, he lets me be compulsive and shop on ebay, never complains for a meal, he is gorgeous...I am convinced there are just some things you need to do for yourself or...depend on your girlfriends to do them for you, because they are the ones that really understand! I adore my DH, but if I wait for him to do something I would consider sweet on my birthday and equate that with love in any sense of the word--I believe I would be sad alot....Try to blow it right off and nuture you! Happy Birthday to you from across the ocean from the new big mouth mumsnetter with all good intentions!

I swear Ididnot sent that 5times,Mumsnet is going a bit crazy today--something going on with server. Maybe that Cow can join MumsNet and yell at me.

Yes well if DP was nice to be the other 364 days a year I probably wouldn't be quite as pissed off as I WAS. I see b.days as the one day in the year that you have the perfect excuse to spoil your loved ones rotten (if it's not somethng you do every day anyway IYKWIM) Anyway, I'm over it now, and won't enjoy ignoring his b.day but I will and then we'll start agin next year on a better footing!!
Oh happy days!!!