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Original poster

Do you go to a mum and baby / toddler group? What is it like? Does anyone not go to one?

46 replies

mumfor1sttime · 13/10/2005 09:18

Hi, didnt know where to post this! I am asking this because I take my 9 month ds to a group on a Thursday,but it can be difficult as I work mornings and it is always a rush for us to get there.
There are 2 groups, one which starts at 10.30,which is for age 5-12months, the other starts at 11.30am for age 0-5 months.
At the moment we are still going to 0-5 month class, this is mainly because of my work hours and also because other class is really full.
The HV said it was ok to stay in other group as the other one was full, but I feel like I want to move ds up to other group.
I just find it hard with my work hours (I work 6am to 9.15am) to find a suitable class!
I want to take ds as I think its good for him, wondered what others thought?

Sorry just had to waffle about it....!

OP posts:
LilacBump · 13/10/2005 09:25

i used to go with DD. the mum & toddler group was in a church hall. the lady who made tea and juice kept telling me to go to her church on the other side of town. and she told DD 'jesus loves you'. DD doesn't even know who jesus is and i am not a christian. anyway, that put me off but the actual group was great and DD loved it.

nailpolish · 13/10/2005 09:27

i used to go to a m&t group - but god knows why cos both me and dd1 hated it

we used to be there for 5 mins and dd1 would start saying she wanted to go home

and it was so cliquey - bitchville

it was more like a bitching session for the mothers than a time for the children to play. they used to sit around drinking tea eating kitkats while the children would just be left to fend for themselves.

because i used to actually play with my babies i got left out - and i ended up wiping other childrens noses, picking them up when they fell off the slide/trike/etc

hopefully yours is not like my local one

Beetroot · 13/10/2005 09:28

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Original poster
mumfor1sttime · 13/10/2005 09:29

I have been looking to go to one in a church! Why do all groups seem to start in the mornings?!

OP posts:
saadia · 13/10/2005 09:29

I went to one a few times, it was OK not great not horrendous but I don't think ds got a great deal out of it.

colditz · 13/10/2005 09:30

I never go, I think they are torturous.. we meet with friends, and go to the park.

Or my local cafe, which has garden toys round the back.

Original poster
mumfor1sttime · 13/10/2005 09:33

It isnt too bad at my group. but I dont love it! Infact I am sitting here now pondering over wether to even go today!
We drink tea, the children play, the HV talks 'at' us and that is about it really! I only go because I feel that I am 'supposed to'.

OP posts:
Beetroot · 13/10/2005 09:35

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OrribleOliveoil · 13/10/2005 09:36

I do and I love it, I didn't know anybody when I moved to this area and now have lots of mums to speak to, my group is friendly and I always make a point of going over to new people and talking to them.

But I have a baby and a toddler so can usually find some way of starting a conversation as I have both age groups covered!

No HV at ours, a local mum runs it, they have tea and coffee and BISCUITS so children love it and form a disorderly queue at 10.30am.

Springchicken · 13/10/2005 09:40

How do i find out if there is one close to me?
Have been thinking about it alot recently, as I only work in the mornings, it would be great if i could take DD in the afternoon sometimes.

nailpolish · 13/10/2005 09:40

ask your hv

Original poster
mumfor1sttime · 13/10/2005 09:40

Never heard of one o clock clubs. Not much going on in my area, just one or two groups which start 10am ish.
None of my close friends have kids. I have met one mum who I see reguarly, she has a dd the same age as ds, but she is going to change groups and go to one which is further away, which will take me even longer to get to!
God, I dont know what to do.....

OP posts:
Wordsmith · 13/10/2005 09:42

Mumfor1st time - don't beat yourself up about it. I think at 9 months your ds isn't going to worry whether you go or not. The toddler group I used to go with DS1 sounded a bit like the one Nailpolish went to - not too bitchy but definitely cliquey - I found it stultifying and DS1 didn't really enjoy it either. Haven't bothered with a toddler group for DS2 -but then he goes to nursery 3 days a week and will be doing pre-school in a couple of years as well.

Don't feel as thought you 'should' do things like toddler groups if you don't want to - there are bound to be other things going on in the afternoon you could take him to if you want to (Have a look in the local library, they normally put posters/leaflets up there) but I personally think kids of that age get more from going to the park and having some fresh air than sitting in a church hall playing with toys they probably already have at home anyway. It's more a social thing for parents IMO and I would look at it on that basis.

nailpolish · 13/10/2005 09:42

if you dont like mothers and toddlers, there are other things such as tumbletots

we also have things in the library like storytelling and plyacting, much more fun than m&t

nailpolish · 13/10/2005 09:42

playacting

Springchicken · 13/10/2005 09:43

What is the difference then between Tumbletots and Mums & tots?
I never see my HV so can't ask her, wouldn't even know how to get hold of her!

nailpolish · 13/10/2005 09:45

mums and tots, springchick, is women sitting around drinking tea while children play with toys. tumbletots in where a teacher does activities, more interactive and organised

Original poster
mumfor1sttime · 13/10/2005 09:46

Thanks wordsmith. That makes me feel better. I guess I am so worried about ds 'missing out' and me not doing the 'right thing'.
I was going to pop to library this afternoon, so will find out.
Thanks

OP posts:
Springchicken · 13/10/2005 09:50

Thanks NP - sorry for the highjack!

Have had a look on the website for tumbletots, where you can see what classes are on in your area but unfortunately all of mine are on in the mornings.

Here's a link

nailpolish · 13/10/2005 09:50

wordsmith is so right! m&t is not important - children dont need to go and imo it doesnt help them at all.

they dont even play with each other really at a very young age - they just play beside each other

me and the dd's find the library sessions really rewarding - the librarians are fab at storytelling and they have amazing books - dd1 even sits down the whole half hour!

its something we all enjoy - me, dd1 (3) and dd2 (1) and that is what is important.

its not the law to go to a m&t group - only go if you find it enjoyable and so does baby

kama · 13/10/2005 09:53

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sweetkitty · 13/10/2005 09:53

We've just moved to this area so have no friends here with children (I know norma no mates) anyway I need to get into a few groups but it's so daunting everyone will know everyone else etc I'm not a shy person but feel like it's worse than a first day at school!

Original poster
mumfor1sttime · 13/10/2005 09:54

Thanks nail polish, guess I am seeking permission not to go!

OP posts:
nailpolish · 13/10/2005 09:56

sweetkitty, remember, you are not going on your own - you have baby with you! if no-one speaks to you, just speak to baby

(my mum told me that when i was nervous about going to classes - and she was right - she said "youre not going alone")

Wordsmith · 13/10/2005 09:57

You have permission not to go!