Anyone moved to new area for sake of your children?

[Lasvegas]

I am moving next year from a lovely place in SW London to Kent/London borders so that our children will have a better quality of life. It means my communte will be longer so will see less of DD and I hate the idea of having to live my life by a train timetable. It is by far the best thing for us as a family, as London is just too expensive for us. I know I have to put the children first but it seems such an enormous sacrifice. I feel like I'm becoming old. Hs anyone else been in this situation?

Can I just ask apart from the money aspect what will your children gain from moving? It sounds like they might gain in material quality but what about not being able to spend as much time with their father?

Is your heart in this move or are you quite anxious about it?

Just curious.

Sorry LasVegas - where on earth did I get the father bit???? - sorry about that. I re-read your post and realised it was "your" commute - having a bad day - forgive me?

Where in SW London are you?

WE moved from a small town with a good nightlife and good restaurants/pubs to a smaller village (1 pub) in a semi-rural area, we even bought a brand new home (which we always hated) because of DS and his quality of life. We now have a nice gardenwhich we didn't have before, it is far quieter here with lovely countryside and DS has made lots of little friends already. We don't regret the move at all, I am far happier and more settled and we don't get chance to go out 3/4 times a week like we used to anyway!

Well, we moved from a desirable, pretty part of London with gorgeous parks and architecture, and soaring property prices, to a more affordable but drab suburb - on the Kent/London borders actually - so we could have a house, with a garden, rather than a tiny flat.
Are you sure your commute will be worse/longer? We moved out a zone but the line is more reliable so my journey is about the same.
There is a better choice of secondary schooling where we have moved to, as well.
I do sympathise Lasvegas - you will probably miss where you lived a lot if you are like me. And yes, there is something a bit depressing about moving from "real" London with local culture and nice eating places, to N Kent. But the children won't always be small, the countryside you can access is some of the loveliest in England, you are close to France for daytrips and handy holidays, and the schools are GOOD.

I moved away from London for the sake of my dd, I knew I coudn't afford to give her the quality of life she has here in Lanchashire - and if I did I would be working all the hours God sends to provide it so wouldn't be able to see her. We live in a lovely house, in a nice part of towm, she goes to a fantastic pre school where she has lovely friends and will go to a great primary. Her grandparents are on the doorstep so she benefits from having an extended family and relatively low property prices mean that I am a SAHM.

I hated making that sacrifice and in many ways still do, I feel stifled where we live, I miss my friends desparately and have struggled to settle. But when dd has grown up we can do what we want until then I have to put her first.

WE did think about moving, had registered the house with an agent, viewed properties and dp had a job offer due to the fact that dp and I are so unhappy where we live and it was putting a strain on our relationship. But we withdrew at the last minute as I felt it wasn't fair on dd to move her away from her settled life.

I think you have to define what you mean by a better quality of life, and how you can achive that for your children if you are having to do a long commute.

We stayed in this area although we would have liked to have moved because we didn't want ds to lose his place at his fab special school. So it was for his sake as he is settled and making progress, but also for our sake as we couldn't face going through the whole 'process' again to find him a new school.

Don't regret it at all, and I quite like the idea of dd going to my old school. It just means that we can only afford to rent a pokey little house whereas if we moved away we could have much more space or even manage to buy a place. Oh well, I am becoming an expert on 'storage solutions'!

We moved back to the countryside,mainly for the DD's.We had a lovely big Edwardian terrace in a town centre location,but got got fed up with the pollution from the main rd,being surrounded by houses as far as the eye could see,kids playing outside until 10.30pm each night & boy racers speeding up & down the road.Parking was a nightmare too.

We moved to a tiny village,(only 40 houses)to a 1960's semi which needs loads doing to it,has no period features & is smaller than the old house,but we are glad we moved.The dd's bedroom window looks out onto a field full of cows & sheep & the nearest house behind us is a mile away in the next village.The local school is great & our neighbours let dd1 ride their pony.The house is by no means my dream home,but it is worth living in it just for the location & the fact that the dd's can hopefully have a similar childhood to the one I had.

I'm just waiting until they get to be teenagers & start moaning about living in the midsdle of no where with nothing to do.

We did. We moved from central location to village location because we were fed up with the pollution, car crime/crime, grafitti, gangs of teenagers, standard of schools etc etc. Very happy with move

We`are, Lasvegas - if our flipping sale ever completes we will be moving from S London back to Cornwall via Dorking or thereabouts for a couple of years Can't wait!

We have just had an offer accepted on a house in a village outside London - we currently live in NW London. Like you, I feel that it is best for our children (can't imagine putting them in the secondary schools near here and can't afford school fees for 4), but still have doubts about the whole thing. I don't work, but dh will be in for a long commute, and the fact he will see less of the children is definitely one of the biggest disadvantages of the move.

We moved from the UK to Australia ( I am aussie, dh is english) I always wanted to raise my children in Australia so when dh and I got married - I told him should we have children I wanted them to be raised in Australia. Despite us living in a village we loved and dh having a good job, we left to come to Australia. He had no job to come to and yet has managed to find a good job that he loves.

The other bonus our dd1 has down syndrome and the resources we have access to here are so much better than what we could access in our district for her.

Our standard of living hasn't dropped even though now we have one income and not two. We are able to afford a lovely house with big garden in a nice area without having to rely on two incomes.

We talked about it after we had been a here a year and decided even if we both hated it - the amazing progress our dd1 has made and the friends and life that she has would outweigh any regret we felt. Luckily our way of life is fab and we don't regret it for a minute.

I'm an Aussie who has been in the UK for 7 years. We've just had a little girl and I too have always said I would raise my family at home in Aus....It's such a big decision, how do you know when the right time to move is.

struthy - our dd was turning 2 when we returned. We basically applied for dh's spousal visa and I went back to work to have a nest egg for when we moved and we did a year or just short of a year. We moved here Jun 04 - dd1 turned 2 august after we got here.... but added to our plan - I fell pregnant ( we're old and thought it would take a while - but no first time we tried - I got pregnant) and was 19 weeks pregnant when we arrived in Aus. We figured then - we would be able to get dd1 into kindy etc and be in the system a while before having to start school.

When I was Pg, we moved from Balham (SW London) to Maidstone, Kent. It is the best move for DS. If I'm honest, I would prefer to live in London. I enjoyed the good transport links, the vibrant communities, the free activities.
However, property prices mean we can afford a house with a garden in a good area with good schools. Something which would have taken us years to acheive (if ever) in a London area.
As a teacher, working in an inner London school, I am much happier sending my DS to school down here. There is more chance of being in an area where education matters to parents. Maybe this is because alot of people have made the same move for the same reasons.
Also, there is a lower crime rate (something a child can be affected by or also something the wayward teen could join).
DS has more likelyhood of being in a school with a school field. I can afford a larger, more desirable abode, in a nicer area with more assets.
For me personally, London is a better adult environment, but here is a better place for children.
Aswell as this, if you can commute, your child is not missing out on job opportunities in the city.
As we moved recently, I can be sympathetic. It is a change in lifestyle and this can come at a cost. The pace of living is slower, which can be both a pro and a con. Also, moving away from a support network, but this can be built.
The time you spend commuting would concern any parent, but IMHO, the benefits outway the cons.

Moved to commuter land for ds. Actually the journey isn't that much longer - it's just on a train not the underground (used to live in zone 2, now 30 miles from London). And I often get a seat for the whole journey, hurrah!

Took about six months to adjust. I missed London and all my friends. But tbh we weren't doing all the London things with a baby anyway. Now I love it and can't imagine moving back - apart from the travel life is soooooo much less stress. Don't think I'd have that edge you need to live in London any more - the sharp elbows and ability to weave round the pavements so you can walk at speed while avoiding dozy tourists and all that. And don't have to worry about crime etc.

Good luck!

Eidsvold - I think in the next three years we will have made the decision to move back. Dh has investigated the spousal visa situation and will apply next year for this, so the ball is rolling. We want to have more children but can't think about that now (Dd is only 4 mths old.....the memory of pain is still there!!!).

How do the costs of childcare in Aus compare to the Uk. I am returning to work in Jan and have just registered Dd into nursery - full time £1000 per mth. It pains me to think about it, but thats just the going rate.

Moving from Wandsworth SW London to Beckenham or Chisellhurst in Kent. For following reasons;- nearer to grandparents (childcare), we can afford a 4 bed house thus providing a 'proper' 2nd home for my step children, if our finances plumate the good state schools there are way easier to get into than ones in wandsworth, my perception is that it is safer out of London - as a more stable population, and think that the teachers won't be supply teachers.

struthy - haven't had dd1 in childcare here as I have yet to find one that lived up to the standard of our UK nursery. Having said that - I am a SAHM since we arrived in Aus. AM not contemplating going back to work in the near future - dd1 has so much going on that I would need to have a nanny to do the things I am doing with her - therapy etc and so WHy pay for someone to attend and then tell me what I should be doing with her.

Next year dd1 starts kindergarten two days a week and that is $14 a day but it is a 9 - 2.30pm day......

We left the UK for NZ 3 and a half years ago for a better quality of life. We lived in a very expensive part of Surrey (what bit isn't???) and although we both worked we could barely afford to live AND pay our mortgage on our teeny house with postage stamp of a garden which was right next to a major railway line.
The sacrifice I made was to leave my family 12000 miles away and I still find that hard.
The good thing is is that we live in a big house, with a big garden, spitting distance from 2 beaches, great schools, DH is home every night by 6pm ... and I was able to be a SAHM on just DH's income. I am now a WAHM too ....

at your situation ghosty even being that far away from family sounds great!

We both lived and worked in Central London, we had a tiny 2 bed flat overlooking the Thames but in a less desirable area, when DD came along we knew we had to move but to move anywhere we could afford (i.e. 1 3 bed terrace) it would mean at least a 2 hour commute to work each day and would also mean I would have to return to work 3 days a week (leaving DD in nursery/childminder for over 12 hours a day).

We are both originally from Scotland so we decided to return, DP got a job with his company, we now live in a lovely detached house with a garden but the downside is that my career will have suffered a huge hammering, theres no way I will ever get a job up here anything like the one down South so I'll have to retrain and try something different. Right now though I'm a SAHM pregnant with baby no 2.

At no time have we thought that moving away from London was the wrong thing to do, we're close enough to Glasgow/Edinburgh to still have the city life.

Another point - after living in the inner city with the huge mix of people you get, from desperately poor to very rich, am amused to be living somewhere solidly middle class where the WI have a market every Friday selling home-grown veg, we know all our neighbours and get the parish magazine delivered.

No danger of people not noticing if something was going wrong, neighbours notice EVERYTHING; if you are running 10 minutes late for work, one of them will crop up to say 'running a bit late today, aren't you'? People talk to each other.

When we'd not long moved here, an elderly lady I'd never even met before stopped her car when she saw me running out of the house and offered me a lift to the station, bless her! Can't imagine that happening in town (and wouldn't have got in a stranger's car in town, even if she was a sweet old lady).

I actually like this, although I'm sure it would drive some people crazy. Not too sure about everyone voting Tory but hey ho, at least they are nice Tories!

Oh, and I get to PMSL at the local teenagers trying to look hard in their hoodies - bless them, they'd be eaten alive back in inner London.

We moved when we discovered that our street was assigned to a "sink" school, to a similar house and area elsewhere in north London. We are now next to a good state school, (and got in with difficulty though dd1 was not yet 3.5!) but otherwise hate the area in many ways (nasty neighbors, nothing to do locally, but the best we could afford). The drive is shorter for me but I have been forced to cut my work to part time as we found we cannot afford decent childcare now one kid is in school-so improving my commute hasn't helped much. DH's commute is much worse although it should have been the same, as the Northern line has become completely unreliable and was totally shut down last night-we had to all pile into the car and drive off through the rain and dark to rescue him, with dinner burning, one sick kid and a tired cranky toddler (and fed up mum - and dad). We are now thinking we should have moved out to the country, as I may as well quit my job since working part-time is so far a disaster, and his friends at work who live in nice towns and villages in Hertforshire have a reliably better commute on the train. But I am worried about losing my economic viability and pension (I am old), as I wonder if our marriage will ever recover from all the stress we have been through....

We're thinking about it for when the children go into secondary education - ds1 has only just started reception, but these things have to be thought through I have discovered!