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Original poster

What would you do???

74 replies

Boe · 05/09/2003 10:26

I have just found out that someone I know very well (a family member) and absolutely detest is a financial backer for a very far right organisation that has just one a seat in a local election.

I distanced myself from the said person a long time ago and I know this seems like I am a complete bitch but if it came out in the press (if they would be interested that is?) he would be in a right pickle - he is a rich business man and a life long member of the Rotary Club and his wife is well 'respected' (not by me I hasten to add) secondary school teacher in a comprehensive that has a huge percentage of minorities and refugees attending.

Am I a complete cow to want to expose this man - I am embarrassed by what he stands for and believes in and that is one of the reasons why I will have nothing to do with him (as well as a huge list of others!!), half of me would die of embarrassement if everyone knew and half of me would be quite glad that he has finally shown his true colours.

I am just not sure what to do - the people he is backing are complete facist bigots that have no place in british politics and I am soooo cross that he has done this.

OP posts:
SamboM · 05/09/2003 11:53

What do you mean DD and court?

codswallop · 05/09/2003 11:53

I would worry what they would dig up about me - we were all students (or that age) once....

codswallop · 05/09/2003 11:54

Keep with the program SM....read betweenthe lines...

sykes · 05/09/2003 11:54

Boe, if it came to my dds I'd do anything. Would agree that anonymity may be the safer option - he sounds an extremely unpleasant person and rather dangerous. I do agree with you that his wife must sanction his views in some way as they're rather obviously married. I personally don't think it's possible to love a bigot. I suppose his wider family will suffer but they must be aware of his rancid opinions too. good luck with your dd.

SamboM · 05/09/2003 11:56

Call Private Eye anonymously.

Would they guess it was you and make your life a misery?

Original poster
Boe · 05/09/2003 12:11

Sambon - would Private Eye actually be interested you think - he not really a huge name or anything??

I really think that they would have no idea it was me and I also think that if he has these beliefs he should be big enough (or small enough IMO) to come out publically - he cannot pretend to be an upstanding member of the community - employ quite a few people (some of which are ethnic minorities), be a member of the Rotary Club and his wife a 'respected' school teacher if he really stands for these things - obviously he is embarrassed or just a closet facist/bigot/racist or he would have no problem admitting that he is financing them!!

(Sad but guy who was elected is the son of an Italian Immigrant!!)

OP posts:
SamboM · 05/09/2003 12:16

Don't know, you'd have to ask them I guess. If they aren't would the nationals be interested either? How about a local but say county level, not town?

monkey · 05/09/2003 12:20

tbh i would just concentrate on your court case with your dd. I know you said he's paying for your dh/dp's solicitor, but just imagine how nastly it could get if they guess or even suspect it was you.

Also, even if it is also for the common good, if revenge is an element, I reckpon it's another reason not to.

Plus if he does, as you say, arrange to have people's legs broken, I'd put that as another reason not to.

When is the court case with your dd? Do you have a date yet? You should maybe take a step back from it, concentrate on the court case, then when it's all over, do something if you still feel you should/want to.

Btw SueW, I used to work in a school in London with a very high propartion of 'ethnic minorities' and was absolutely stunned and horrified at the number of teachers who seemed to be quite racist. I couldn't get my head round why they would choose to work in such a school either. Still can't tbh. Very sad & had repercussions for everyone, I think.

zebra · 05/09/2003 12:22

it's not Prince Philip, is it?

Trying to guess whose wife would state in public what upstanding members of the community her family are....

SamboM · 05/09/2003 12:24

Mary Archer, Christine Hamilton...

Original poster
Boe · 05/09/2003 12:24

We have a directions hearing next week (have been informed this morning that CAFCASS spoke to his new childminder - something that was never revealed to me so I am quite disgusted!!) - they seem to not really be bothered - I am now worrying weather the court will actually give a toss that he si a drug taking alcoholic violent man and my daughter does not want to be with him!!

I do honestly think that they do not care!!

OP posts:
doormat · 05/09/2003 12:29

Boe this family member of yours sounds a despicable man with disgusting beliefs.

You say that people must have certain standards. I agree with that statement but if you can gladly blow someone up for revenge/monetry gain you are no better than him IMO as you are "playing" his game.

If you are going to blow him up do it for the sake of a better society, not your own personal revenge.

Sorry but reading between the lines you are angry and bitter at these family members.I am not once suggesting you should not be angry but dont let anger fester.

Original poster
Boe · 05/09/2003 12:31

No she is no one famous - they are just looked upon quite highly in their local community by other people cause he has lots of money!!

Sort of Local Boy done good type of thing (yet he is really just small time gangster!!)

I suppose the best thing is to keep schtum and just mention it in court.

Thanks for your help guys.

(I really do not want my daughter anywhere near them though!!)

OP posts:
SamboM · 05/09/2003 12:47

Take advice from your solicitor before you mention this. You don't know, the judge might be a BNP supporter or something awful and it would prejudice your case.

doormat · 05/09/2003 12:52

or a fellow freemason sambom

FairyMum · 05/09/2003 13:03

I don't like him. According to his logic I would have to go back home (to Sweden),)

Tinker · 05/09/2003 13:11

Hope I've not got the wrong end of the stick here but wasn't this on the news this morning? Name begins with N?

aloha · 05/09/2003 13:11

I wouldn't mention it in court. It's not really relevant and might look vindictive (though I agree with you that the BNP is a disgusting organisation).
Tell everyone you know if you want, but I don't think it will helpful in your court case, particularly as she is not the backer.

codswallop · 05/09/2003 13:18

so lets look at the clues - she is a teacher, he is a business man and a member of the rotaty club and Sambo and Zebra guess................ Prince Philip and Neil Hamilton..LOL

Am still chickling over the washing of the Queen in a comprehensive!!

SamboM · 05/09/2003 13:31

Think you are right Tinker. As this is such current news I should think Private Eye may be interested!s

Original poster
Boe · 05/09/2003 13:44

Who begins with N - my relative or the person who won the election?? (Well seat)??

Wow - if you think outing him would be vindictive you should see what she has written about me - it was appalling and to think that she said that she thought we had a good relationship!!

OP posts:
Tinker · 05/09/2003 13:45

The one who won

Northerner · 05/09/2003 13:48

Boe, if I were you I'd out him definatley. It sounds like you owe these people no favours whatsoever.

I'd fight dirty for my ds!

Go Girl

Original poster
Boe · 05/09/2003 13:49

Yes Nicholas Geri (Nice British Name!!).

Am gonna look on Private Eye website and see if they have covered it at all.

OP posts:
Tinker · 05/09/2003 13:51

Right, just re-read your first message properly so sorry for sounding confused.

Just post it on the Guardian message board. May get deleted after and hour or so but it's out there in the public domian and you are anonymous. You can't be accused of libel since it's true