Man who barged in front of pregnant woman on Tube today for a seat

[hunkermunker]

Your tie was stupid.

I get pensioners who give me ugly looks on a daily basis for taking a seat on the bus. My right knee is full of metal and my left knee has almost no meniscus. My swelling is back and it bloody hurts to stand up. Plus my balance is shot to hell. And it's not like I'm taking their seats, this is in buses where they get to sit, too.

The tube was a nightmare with both pgs for me and worse for the 2nd (had ds in april). I was on crutches for the last few weeks too and was even more invisible despite being the size of a house.

Always women offering to give up their seats i found.

Plus actually just trying to get on the train in the first place at some stations was very scary. No-one seems to give a sh&* these days for pg women. I felt totally invisible.

Then bizarrely after being invisible for an hour, id get off the train, walk into a shop and i wouldnt get 10 yards without someone telling me how huge i was, asking when i was due and then telling me about the friends brothers wifes sisters friend who had a baby that died or something else depressing and unnecessary to tell a complete stranger.

But thats just my experience! I am actually sad i wont be getting pg again (well, if i cant persuade my dp otherwise.......)

actually I had the opposite experience... worked in London in my last pregnancy and never had to stand up. (I went up there a few weeks ago and stood up for a pg woman on the tube. She was marginally less pg than me. Had forgotten.)

Now in this pregnancy, I travelled from Birmingham to Glasgow while very obviously pregnant and no-one but NO-ONE stood up for me. Even on a bus going to the plane, where we stood up for 45 minutes at Brum airport, and the gate at Glasgow where we were delayed for almost two hours. I sat on the floor.
I delighted in telling my mother this, as she is always on about how much friendlier they are up north and how Glaswegian people are all bleeding marvellous etc etc.

I had to travel using the horrid Northern Line. At first, I could understand that I wasn't showing, but I still looked really ropey and actually had to sit on the floor for fear of vomitting. Then as my bump got bigger, ppl gave me those annoying 'out of the corner of my eye' glances and then kept their heads down. One b*tch actually tried to out run me to a seat. She beat me of course, but I was so angry, I demanded the seat back. Glad I moved too!

Ahh...the lovely northern line
my tactic was to go up the the youngest man and lean in very very very closely and say " I wonder if you would be kind enough to give me you seat as I'm slightly more pregnant that you"

worked every time

I was out-run for a seat on the piccadilly line by a girl when I was obviously pg. My husband asked her "don't you give up seats for pg women?" and she replied "no"

Today an ignorant man in a rage in the post office slammed into a plant, which went flying into my baby (asleep in the car seat, which I was holding). He turned and saw what had happened but carried on his way.

It's a shit world!

I'm going to buck the trend here because my experience has been completeley different. In eight months of travelling on buses and tubes while pregnant I only didn't get offered a seat once. I found that Londoners would always give up their seat for me when pregnant,even in the rush hour. I am one of those people who is very obviously pregnant - nobody could ever be in any doubt - from about three months. Is it possible that with others there is an element of doubt in people's minds - Is she fat or is she pregnant and they err on the side of caution? I only ask because my experience suprised me too

Ragtaggle, I think you're right. The only person I know in real life who was always offered a seat was very skinny, and hence obviously pregnant, when she was pregnant.

I'm fairly big, and I think some people (particularly men) might not have been sure. DH did used to ask for me, and I think I even asked once or twice. The rule we had was not to ask a specific person. Someone who looks perfectly fit may well need a seat more than you! (Like EIS, they might have knee issues, blood pressure, whatever.) So we would ask a row, at once, IYSWIM.

Normally it was women who got up.

I did have a woman give me a seat from across a carriage, and before I got there, some bloke had taken it. I did ask him to get up. He got up.

Maybe I'm too optimistic, but I think the problem is that people are too busy with their own business and not really paying attention.

I was also pleasantly surprised to be offered seats very promptly - and I am another one who was very obviously pregnant. I remember the first time it happened, I was so proud that strangers could now tell, combined with the kind gesture, I nearly had a little cry (ok, pregnancy hormones rioting).

I have also found people unexpectedly helpful when travelling with a pushchair / toddler - but not at rush hour. I recently had to totter on the platform with a buggy in one arm and a 2 year old in the other, then hoist us all onto the tube and promptly crash to the ground, while people watched in a detached way as if it was some sort of performance theatre. I'll use the sling again next time although it is hard going now he weighs 2 stone.

God, what a picture we paint. These will all be people wondering what's happened to community spirit and complaining in the pub that the worlds gone mad. Someone got to a seat just before me when I was heavily pregnant with ds and before I could stop myself I shouted, "Are you taking the piss??". He moved.

I am stunned that so many people have trouble getting a seat on public transport.

I wonder whether its because you're avoiding eye contact or expecting a fit of gallantry from everyone who is actually expecting everyone else to offer.

Or maybe avoiding the direct approach.. simply walk up to the nearest priority seat (taken by someone who doesn't need it) and say in a loud and clear voice 'Excuse me may I have the priority seat' and show off your bump. I have never ever been refused.

oh and after they've given you the seat ensure you are equally loudly thankful as it makes everyone else feel a little bit more likely to give up their seat next time.

I lived in London and only had to ask for a seat once when obviously pregnant. Was standing with dh who started talking very loudly about the pregnancy until a man was shamed into standing. I said thank you very loudly in order to encourage the others next time.
But I was lucky - used to use the Bakerloo from Waterloo so train had only had a couple of stops so usually seat available anyway.
My current train company actually upgrades you to first class if you have a doctor's letter confirming pregnancy.

The worst abuses I see are from other mothers with pushchairs on buses refusing to rearrange their buggy's laterally in order to fit another buggy in. Or from OAP's refusing to move from the priority seats in the buggy parks to the ones just behind. It's very sad the way we all have to fight so bitterly for what are basically crumbs left on the table.

And not just fat then, Edam?

I know its slightly different but when i had a broken leg and was on critches a bus driver literally screamed at me for not getting off the bus quick enough

i was sitting at the back and pressed the stop button, other people waled to the front bu the door...

i hadnt even got a 1/4 of the way and he started to move...

i shouted stop, to which he looked round and souted "cant you get off any quicker?"

to which i shouted NO ACTUALLY I CANT!!!

I got home and complained about him, got him a warning and me a weeks free bus pass...

But at least thats a driver, cant exactly phone to complain about the passengers!

Yeah, they must be worried that we'd all start telling porkies to get upgraded!
My old boss lives on the same line closer to London and by the time she gets on the train it's so crowded you can only squash in by the doors. And she said she NEVER got a seat throughout her whole pregnancy - but more because she never got anywhere near the seating area than because people failed to offer. She only had to go a couple of stops before getting off though but must have been horrid being so squashed.

My dw only seemed to be offered seats by rather posh men. She said that lots of women used to look at her and then look away. Often the guard used to let her have his seat in his little room on the train, or these posh men would almost force her to take their seats and then talk very loudly to her about how rude healthy people are these days. She almost wet herself laughing one day, as one gent went into one on her behalf.

So going by happymummy's experience, would it work to stand there and say, loudly: 'Someone told me that the people most likely to offer seats to pregnant women are rather posh men. Are there any here?'

Where have the signs gone that used to be on buses about giving up your seat to the elderly, disabled or pregnant women?

When I was pg, I didn't often use public transport, but I do remember once being offered a seat - by a woman.

I do have to say though, that when I once went to London on my own with a toddler and a baby and a double buugy which had to be collapsed every time I went on an escalator, there were loads of people including men in nice suits, who offered to help me, so not everyone is bad, even on the London underground1

Never offered a seat whilst pg (but wasn't that big so maybe no one noticed?) But got on very crowded bus with ds last week, holding him in my arms (he's 2 and a half...) and it took a couple of minutes before anyone offered me a seat, and the person who did was a nurse......

i always got a seat in both my pregnancies. people did give up their seats, but i had no qualms at all about asking them to either. there was one girl who raced me for a seat on the tube once, & almost won, but me screaming "can't you see i'm pregnant" stopped her nicely in her tracks. ha.

meant to say, living in london.

Sorry - but i was huge with bump and you could definitely tell i was pg - i always looked two months ahead of dates and people regularly used to ask if it was twins - even mws who hadnt dealt with me before. The northern line was definitely the worst.

I had women race me to seats on three occasions. I tripped one up with my cruthces once. I know i shouldnt have but i was so angry i couldnt stop myself.