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Original poster

Did I Do a Bad Thing?

69 replies

TemporaryName · 29/09/2005 13:39

Down in the market today, there was a woman with three kids, pretty much in hysterics. I saw some people talk to her, and overheard her say something about money, her bag got nicked. As I was getting ready to go, I walked up to her, and tried to give her some money (rolled up, tried to hand it over subtly). She said no, so I put it in the top of the buggy and walked away.

I felt a bit guilty, I don't think she wanted charity, but I couldn't wander off and leave someone in that state ... but I'm no good at talking to people ... what would you have done?

OP posts:
Dropinthe · 29/09/2005 14:32

That was an extremely generous sum of money to give to a stranger!-I agree a ten pound note would have been more than sufficient-I'm quite shocked at how much you gave her! If she was like me,she would have only had £20.00 maximum in her purse. She may have been more upset about other personal effects like photo's,pressies,sentimental stuff-WHO KNOWS??

You are either very kind or very foolish!
(And very rich too!)

Toothache · 29/09/2005 14:33

lol Dropinthe and Myturn!

auntymandy · 29/09/2005 14:35

I wouldnt have £60 in my purse to give!! A nappy and some wipes thats about the lot!

peckarollover · 29/09/2005 14:37

I feel sorry that you are being slightly slated here.

It cant be looked on as a bad thing I dont think -even if others wouldnt/couldnt afford to do the same it was very generous and good natured of you. There should be more of that around!

Chloe55 · 29/09/2005 14:37

I could have given her a mouldy piece of chewing gum and some receipts!

She might do this as a living - I bet she never even had a purse!

I am of course only joking TN, please don't take offence.

kama · 29/09/2005 14:37

This reply has been deleted

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Amanda1 · 29/09/2005 14:39

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auntymandy · 29/09/2005 14:39

think I might try get mugged later!!
only joking
Not a bad thing to do, but I feel a bit of gloating going on

Chloe55 · 29/09/2005 14:41

I don't know about gloating, I think it's playing on TN's mind and she wanted some opinions as to whether she might have offended the lady.

MascaraOHara · 29/09/2005 14:41

£60?!?!?!!! blimey! might head down my local market and wail a bit! Just kidding, think it was a really lovely thing to do. £60 on the top of a pushchair would have got nicked round my local market though - specially if owner of said psuhchair wasn't paying attention!!!

Think you made a really nice gesture am just amazed you gave her £60.

When dd was bout 3 months old I vivsted my parent, a guy who lives a few doors down came over to say hi (remember goin to his wedding when I was about 10 but don't really know him) he made me take £50 I was shocked and embarrassed and din't know what to say as was really shocked he just pushed it into my hand as he was walking away and was saying something about buy her some thing. It wasn't til I got indoor I saw it was a £50 either afterwards I kind of swung between really embarressed/quite offended and really bowled over. Looking back I think it was a nic thing that he did. I'm sure the person you helped will be greatful! and it's always nice when someone confirms you faith in people!

MascaraOHara · 29/09/2005 14:42

ooops sorry - only started a posts to say don't think it was a bad thing and look at all that drival I just typed - sorry!

auntymandy · 29/09/2005 14:51

a gift is a bit different

fireflyfairy2 · 29/09/2005 14:56

I think you were very kind. I'd be overwhelmed by your kindness if it were me in that situation.

Don't slate her, just hope that next time you're in a situation that the kindness of a stranger gets you out of it

Original poster
TemporaryName · 29/09/2005 14:57

She definately saw me put the money there, I'm sure she took it. (I didn't want it to get lost. But I didn't want to have a conversation with her about it.)

I thought £60 was maybe a bit much, or maybe not enough. She was really really really upset. Lost all the grocery money sort of upset. She'd just come out of the bank (where I was making my withdrawal) and had presumably been trying to get help there.

She stayed upset for ages, too - I went off to get fruit, came back by, she was still there, still in hysterics. I wouldn't have done it if she'd just been a bit upset, she was bright red, unable to cope.

I'm sure she was upset about stuff other than money, too, but I did overhear her say something about not having any money to someone who was asking her what was wrong.

(And, no, £60 isn't much to me. I do realise it is to some.)

OP posts:
Dropinthe · 29/09/2005 14:58

Hope you don't think I was slating you!

I would have been really grateful if it had been me and would have had to follow you down the road to see where you lived so I could Thank you properly!!

Original poster
TemporaryName · 29/09/2005 14:58

Oh, and she wasn't a pro. I've met lots of professional beggars, good and bad. (And given them money, sometimes.)

One of the kids she was with was walking, a 3 or 4-year-old. I felt really badly for her, standing there with her mum all upset.

OP posts:
Original poster
TemporaryName · 29/09/2005 14:59

Nobody followed me, thankfully. I really really didn't want her gratitude, I just wanted her to be less upset.

I figure I wouldn't recognise her if I saw her again (and hopefully she wouldn't recognise me).

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 29/09/2005 15:01

TN, it was a good thing to do. And I'm very glad there are people in the world who do these good things.

I'm happy to pat you on the back for it - anyone whose not is a mealymouth IMO.

hunkermunker · 29/09/2005 15:05

And to change your name to slag TN off - mealymouthed coward.

cod · 29/09/2005 15:06

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cod · 29/09/2005 15:06

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Chloe55 · 29/09/2005 15:07

Always the skeptic Cod

Lizzylou · 29/09/2005 15:09

TN, I think it was a lovely thing to do...you have restored my faith in human nature

cod · 29/09/2005 15:11

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Toothache · 29/09/2005 15:16

OI Hunker! Hope you're not saying I'm a mealymouth!! I didnt' say it was bad thing..... I said of course it couldn't be a bad thing!

But I know it would make me uncomfortable and perhaps feel a bit skanky that somebody thought I needed that much money....

BUT

TN - you've painted a different picture now.... you say she was just coming out of the bank.... and that she had said something about going to buy groceries.... I just thought you were in the middle of a market! I suppose if she'd just come out the bank and was on her way to buy groceries then its conceivable she had more than £20 in her purse..... see how some more details put a different slant on things?

Lol Cod! Its a good scam if it is one!