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Original poster

Would you leave your kids for two weeks to heve fun with DH?

69 replies

HondaDream · 16/09/2005 22:02

Dh and I are panning a two week trip around India on Motorbike (MIL has offered to have kids). Dh mentioned it at work and words like irresponsible and phrases like I would never leave the kids. Considering we are not novices having lived in asia I find this a bit wierd. Just wondered what you lot think.

OP posts:

ghosty · 18/09/2005 04:21

My mum and dad left us (4 of us) with friends for a month when I was 1 ... I was the youngest of my siblings (my oldest brother was 6). They had a great time and my mum wasn't worried about it at all.
Then when I was 3 they did it again. This time they left us with the old lady who lived upstairs. We lived in Spain at the time and the lady was English but everyone else was Spanish ... we didn't have a phone and neither did the lady. We all got the measles and my mum didn't know until she got back .
Anyway, that was then and this is now.
These days you have email and mobile phones. Your children are older, you get on with your MIL ... go for it
Right now I can't imagine going away for 2 weeks ... my children are 5 yrs old and 19 months old. A weekend definitely but not 2 weeks.
When DD is older then yes ... I probably would go.
I have a friend who went to Jamaica for 10 days when her DS was 10 months old and she only phoned once to let her mother know that she had arrived ... now, that, I know I couldn't do. I would have to phone every day.
I stayed with Jimjams for 24 hours a couple of months back and phoned my parents 4 times fgs! But that was to convince them that Jimjams wasn't a brothel keeper

triceratops · 18/09/2005 09:31

Dh and his sister were both sent to boarding school when they were 8. I won't say it didn't damage them and it is certainly not something I would do but that would be far worse than going to india for a fortnight while they are with people they know and love.

Mytwopenceworth · 18/09/2005 10:02

To each their own, but since you asked for opinions, here is mine.

And before I start, it is my opinion based on the question would you (I) do it and is not a judgement of any persons choice to do something different.

I would not leave my kids behind when I went on holiday. a) I would miss them too much to have any fun. b) I would worry about them too much to have any fun. c) I would feel too selfish to have any fun. d) I would feel too guilty to have any fun.

I would feel awful that they would be at home knowing I was on a holiday. I can imagine how much they would want to be with me and how bad they would feel that they weren't on holiday! I would imagine that situation from a childs perspective - knowing how much they love the excitement of hols! And a child wouldn't think to themselves, "we went to blackpool this year so we already had a holiday", they just know that they weren't on THIS one!

I personally could not holiday without my children until they were at an age where they were booking (and paying for!) their own and jetting off without me!

kama · 18/09/2005 10:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Kazziegirl · 18/09/2005 10:10

Nope, I couldn't do it and wouldn't want to (that doesn't make me boring btw) We waited a long time to have kids and part of having them is holidays spent as a family. Good job we're not all the same I hope you have a fab time.

compo · 18/09/2005 10:13

how old are your children?

Tessiebear · 18/09/2005 10:21

If you feel happy enough to leave them - then go for it!!
I would love to have the confidence to do something like that but i would spend the whole time worrying about /missing the kids!!

crazydazy · 18/09/2005 10:50

If the kids were that age then yes we would go but they are just a bit too young and are not used to us leaving them even overnight so I personally wouldn't do it but take my hat off to anyone that is in that position.

My MIL has said when our kids are older (5 and 3) they will take them away for the week so we can go away.......just waiting for that time now

kiwibelle · 18/09/2005 11:23

go for it - especially if your children have a good relationship with their grandies. We left our dd when she was 7 to spend two weeks in Thailand on our honeymoon. It was holidays so they had time to spend with her and she loved it, one week with GP and the other with her aunt. Still talks about it. And we have fab memories of our trip. Envious of your trip!

edam · 18/09/2005 11:37

Your kids are old enough to be left. They get a holiday with their grandparents. You get what sounds like a fantastic trip of a lifetime. No contest! Colleagues are just jealous.

Although the wills thing might be a good idea - although I'm just a scaredy-cat especially around motorbikes. Went to a child-free wedding yesterday, phoned babysitter when I turned my mobile back on after the service, but on the way home late at night (an hour and a half journey) suddenly thought 'oh Lord, if we crashed the babysitter would have no idea and has no way of contacting our families'. Probably just guilt because it was the longest period we've both spend away from ds and the furthest distance though (and possibly a relfection on dh's driving).

Btw, lovely coincidence, got home from wedding to find babysitter's boyfriend had proposed to her and she was wearing a very sparkly ring!

kbaby · 18/09/2005 20:22

Definetly.
my mum has dd every saturday night(because she remembers how nice a lie wouldve been when she had us) they also just took her away for 2 nights to Torquay. It was really good, DD had a good holiday, they got to spend quality time with her, and we had 2 nights full sleep!
If your happy leaving them with the gp's and they will be happy then go for it.

cod · 18/09/2005 20:22

Message withdrawn

CelluliteQueen · 18/09/2005 20:46

My mum has just retired from full-time teaching and she has offered to have 2.2 yo DS for a week next week so we can go abroad. Yipee! My parents are hands-on GP and DS will have a fab time. Just got to try and squeeze into that old bikini!

PeachyClair · 18/09/2005 21:05

We left DS1 at 3 months to go on Honeymoon. he was with his Grandmother. I missed him like Hell and hated it at first, but once I got used to it (cocktails on a ship deck helps ), i realised that it was far better for us to have some time to build and maintain a decent relationship, even if it menas leaving him occasionally (we aim for a kid free weekend a year, tho it'll be just one nihght this year). As long as they're with someone they're close to- well, better that than their parents grow apart and get divorced! Quality time is imoportant.

Passionflower · 18/09/2005 21:37

I have left them all with DH and MIL for a week, but I couldn't leave them for longer till they are a bit older, DD3 would have to be 4 I think. Then yes, I have a dream of going on safari and would definitely leave them with my DM, not MIL though!

myturn · 18/09/2005 21:54

Yes, I left my oldest 2 for 2wks with my parents when they were young (the girls, not my parents..). We jetted off to South Africa. It was wonderful!

nooka · 18/09/2005 22:06

I wouldn't worry to much about making your children feel sad about not coming too. I went white water rafting on my own last summer (was away for about 12 days) leaving the children with their dad. They missed me (especially as I was out of contact for 7 of the days - no mobiles in the wilderness!) but I don't think that they ever complained about not coming too, as it just wasn't a children's sort of holiday (they were 4 and 5 at the time). I told them both that when they were old enough I would take them too, and we had a seaside summer holiday booked with their needs in mind, which they knew about. I didn't really miss them either, as the action bit of the holiday just wasn't a children's thing (I would have missed them terribly if other children had been around). The only cautionary tale I have is that at the end of the holiday I managed to break my jaw and my arm!

kiwibelle · 19/09/2005 18:12

Well HondaDream - it definately sounds like you have loads of support. Go for your amazing trip with your husband! But, follow the wise advice of the person who suggested that you have all your paperwork in order. Discuss all the risks with your husband and inlaws and what you want to happen if any of them happen. A bit morbid but you'll be rest assured while you are away.

Bugsy2 · 19/09/2005 19:56

Go for it HondaDream. My parents went on a number of holidays when we were little without us. We never missed them for more than the first 10 mins & certainly didn't have the insight to wonder why they'd want to go without us.
I think that we sometimes are so busy putting our children first, that we forget about being a couple and without you two grown ups being happy & loving your family will be a whole lot worse off. Go for it, go for it!!!!!!
Two weeks will fly by for them & you.

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