More party angst...

[aloha]

OK, ds's 4th birthday in Sept. Have drawn up a list of invitees - will check with nursery that have included the children he plays with most. Should I put invites in the children's trays? Is that the done thing?
Also I have a punch and judy man arrivign at 4pm to do his thing for up to an hour and a half (I think). Should I ask kids for 3pm or 2.30pm and what should I between their arrival and the punch and judy man starting? What should I do about food and cake? Are games appropriate at this age? HOw do I make this thing work and not just be horrible chaos and shambles and make me the joke mother of SE London?
Help!

Please!

I would keep it to 2 hours or so. Get the guests to come at 3pm, a few games or just play (don't know what they like at 4!). Tea and then punch and judy man until hometime.

Tha's what I would do except that I'm too mean to hire a punch and jusy man

Trays are fine - but you do run the risk of invites going astray. If you hand them to Mums in person though it can be awkward for those who don't get one (or so I'm told, I always get a sinking feeling when kids come out clutching invites and breathe a sigh of relief if ds1 doesn't get one). I think 2 hours is plenty for a party but as your P&D man is 1.5 - then I would say invite for 3pm - and pick up at 5.30. That only gives you an hour to fill so you will have to feed them then. They can do games at 4 but you will have to be super-organised and school ma'arm-y. Dead simple ones like Pass the Parcel (put a little pressie in each layer if you don't want tears), and musical statues/bumps. If you only have an hour to fill between arrival and P&D you won't need many games. Oh and games before food - unless you want puking!

How many children do you have coming? I've always put picnic blankets on the floor for them to eat, rather than attempt to sit them round a table (I dress the table and lay the food on it buffet style, they load up and go and sit down).

Food...ooh what a minefield, you being in London and all that. Up here they get a jam buttie and a Wagon Wheel but after reading Jess Cartner-Morley's article in The Guardian yesterday where she said

I think you might have to get the caterers in for organic houmous vol-au-vents etc.

Is that any help?

2hrs is probably enough for a party. Get the children to come at 3.30, if its a nice day they could play outside for 1/2hr or you could do "pin the tail on the donkey" or pass the parcel then Punch & Judy man 4-5 and tea from 5.00 to end. Yes put the invites in the children's trays.

I'm serving, cake, trifle, small number of cheese sarnies and sausage rolls - sort of retro chic, don't you know! At least the blighters will eat that lot (I hope)
This is all very useful and reassuring. Will keep it short and sweet. Tea when they arrive then? Pass the parcel OK?

musical statues works well at that age but you run the risk of winding them up then expecting them to sit still for P&J.
Pass the parcel is good too but you need to make sure all the kids get a go - it caused me no end of stress at DS1's 4th party last year as it was the first time most of the kids had played that game and thay all wanted to keep opening and wouldn't pass the parcel on.

Actually it all sounds beautifully retro chic - P&J, pass the parcel, simple but tasty food - just my style. good luck - I have DS1's 5th party in a few weeks and hadn't even thought about it until now.

agree with others - would keep it to pass the parcel for games, and if its nice just let them play out in the garden.
Would start at 3 as well.

Yippee! Feel much better now.

I would do 3.00 start, remember you'll probably have 20 mins or so of kids arriving - blow up lots of balloons so they can run around and make a racket/ burn energy off.

A couple of games for 20 minutes/half an hour - how many are you inviting? If you have more than 10 for pass the parcel I'd do two parcels going round the cirle opposite ways so thay don't get bored when it's not their go and wander off. Anything like musical bumps - a good tip is to let the children stay 'in' rather than make them sit 'out' at this age - ie keep dancing but just keep an eye on who's been disqualified - also give those who are out a jelly baby or something to sweeten the sting. Dancing competitions are always really good at this age and very funny to watch.

Then I'd do punch and judy while you set out the food - 45 mins max. I think an hour is a long time for four year olds to sit and watch a P and J man. Presumably you'll have a lot of three year olds there too?

Then tea and birthday cake - half an hour ish.
Is that about 2 hours?!

give the invites to the nursery supervisors to give out.
Ask them for 2.30. Some will arrive at 3.00pm. Hire a bouncy castle and have bikes etc to play with, let them run around til 3.30ish then have sandwiches etc and blow out candles. Cut up cake to give out as they leave after p&j man
Sounds fab - have a great time!

The standard for a party is 2 hours, but if you're having an entertainer for 1.5, you may find that the eating is a bit rushed. A recent party-mother told me that 2 hours for her DS's party last year wasn't long enough because their entertainer went on for just over an hour (but maybe she's a glutton for punishment).

and have wine for the adults

I'll ring my P&J man and find out how long he'll go on for. He also does balloon animals and magic!
Ok, so arrival, balloons and mayhem (gulp). No bouncy castle as ds doesn't like then and can't really jump properly. Possibly pass the parcel after that.
Then quite like the idea of tea and singing happy birthday then P&J - with cake to give out as they leave.
Whaddya all think?

Wine goes without saying in this house!

Why don't you get him there for the start to do some balloons for the children arriving? That would be lovely - a ballooon animal specially made for you as you arrive!

I wouldn't do tea before P and J as they'll never sit still for it after sugary party tea. In my experience it's best to do tea at the end and then give the sugar-charged tinies back to their parents as quickly as poss.

I would do the timings that Fimbo suggest with arrival at 3.30, a little game like pass the parcel will fill the time till P & J man comes. Also its a game where late arrivals can just join in. Tea after the show, as they will sit and eat better once they've been entertained. Then when parents arrive to pick up they'll be chuffed that they don't have to feed again before bedtime, also easier for kids to peel off from eating rather than missing any of the show.

Oh yes, forgot about the cake and Happy Birthday singing, that's for almost the end of the party, while the're still interested in the food area!

Am the queen of retro party food and have list here of what I did for DS's last party (3rd)(am anal lawyer who only has spurts of imagination every 2.5 years so has to write everything down when it happens). Just dusting it down as he is having 4th party next month and I'm a great believer in familiarity. Do you want details?

marthamoo - you are funny .

Party sounds fab aloha, post some piccies!

Aloha - sounds perfect.

I'd say arrival at 3 so plenty time for stragglers to arrive before pass the parcel and musical statues - remember a little pressie between teh layers and a small sweet for those who are out in musical statues (this is the noughties where no child shall ever feel like a loser)

Then food put out at 3.40ish - 20 mins of stuffing faces then do cake - blow out candles.

Then they watch entertainer while you slice cake up and serve either just before they leave or put in party bags.

A word of warning, although it doesn't sound to bad you will be frazzled by the end of it - so get as many proper helpers as you can - not just the kind of helper who immediately sits in a corner with a glass of wine gossiping while you are run off your feet

Then once they have all gone, drown yourself in alcolhol and rejoice that you are off the hook for another year

hope it all goes well - your very brave

soapbox, no such thing as losing/failing nowadays, didn't you know? One calls it deferred success

Anchovy - yes please. God, you are all good at this!
Will browse ebay for some suitably macho bunting this evening!

OK. This is what we had for joint birthday party for DS (3) and DD (1). I'm assuming that everyone in the whole world has those small colured plastic bowls from IKEA that cost about £1 for 10 or whatever and the flower shaped plates and the beakers (much cheaper than disposables).

Bowls of organix puffs and twigletts (altho hula hoops have also appeal and can be eaten off fingers)

Bowls of cherry tomatoes; cucumber batons; carrot sticks; grapes.

cheese and pineapple (fresh, I'm posh) on cocktail sticks stuck into a potato covered in foil (thought children might wet themselves they were so excited by this). Good poking potential with cocktail sticks also, much appreciated by 3 year old boys.

Few sandwiches: grated cheese and marmite; tuna mayo. These tend not to get eaten, TBH!

Mini sausages - I work right next to a sausage shop and they make up batches of cocktail ones on 48 hours notice. Think of the maximum anyone can eat and double it - hugely popular with parent attendees (and more cocktail stick fun!). If I'm feeling fancy I drizzle them with runny honey before cooking.

Chocolate crispy cakes (never eat them the rest of the time). If you do this sort of thing you have to do it properly - I have an unbelievable recipe (Annabel Karmel of all people) that includes melted mars bars and then when set in a tray you make a chocolate top to it as well - brilliant.

Biscuits in number of birthday boy (have great number cutters from Urchin I think - about £10 but we are going to get lots of use out of them). Cover in different coloured glace icing and different sorts of sprinkles (DS helped with all this on his last birthday). I put these in party bag. Also nice to send in to nursery school on birthday itself.

Cake (last year DH made a Thomas the Tank engine cake but usually we do a number one - you can rent tins really cheaply - couple of quid)

I also put out some biscuits next to the kettle for parents plus tea, coffee milk and sugar on the side. Then offer wine (or indeed champagne) at the end when cake is cut.

We always have a bouncy castle (loads cheaper than an entertainer, actually) so food definitely AFTER bouncing. No one has been sick so far (although DD was so over excited last year she did do a big pooh in the bath!)

This really doesn't involve that much effort, (particularly if you can get your DH to do the baking, as I do!) I just chopped up vegetables and opened the crisps! DCs made the chocolate crispy things and iced the biscuits.

please can i have the chocolate crispy cakes recipe please - ds will love them. also the biscuit idea is INSPIRED. Love it - esp for nursery.
Number cake also wonderful - ds obsessed by numbers. rent from where?
really really appreciate this btw.