More party angst...

[aloha]

OK, ds's 4th birthday in Sept. Have drawn up a list of invitees - will check with nursery that have included the children he plays with most. Should I put invites in the children's trays? Is that the done thing?
Also I have a punch and judy man arrivign at 4pm to do his thing for up to an hour and a half (I think). Should I ask kids for 3pm or 2.30pm and what should I between their arrival and the punch and judy man starting? What should I do about food and cake? Are games appropriate at this age? HOw do I make this thing work and not just be horrible chaos and shambles and make me the joke mother of SE London?
Help!

I can give you Nigel Slater's crispy cake recipe I think...

Thanks! Well, your dd's will be eating them!

My tip for cakes are get 2, one fancy one for blowing out candles, another plainer one pre-cut and wraped ready to go. It means you don't have to rush wrapping up while parents start to arrive to collect. Means you have nice cake to take home and eat with a cuppa once the mayhem ceases.

The best advice as someone else said get proper help.
3:30 Get daft DH or BIL to run about like they are on speed in a balloon filled room while you calmly welcome guests and hang up coats etc.
Get MIL or Sis to arrange wotsits and sausages while drinking gallons of wine.
3:45 Once everyone is there go in to party room and peal DH off roof and play a couple of traditional games, stick to the ones they are likely to know.
4:00 P&J man entertains with DH or BIL acts as his bouncer and toilet shuttle.
4:15 Pick MIL up off floor and get food ready to go.
4:30 Collect up the kids who are bored and start feeding.
5:00 Tell P&J man enough is enough and feed all kids.
5:15 Produce cake sing happy birthday.
5:30 Wave goodbye and hand out amazing party bags that cost 50p to fill.
5:45 Hand DH and BIL bin bag and smile, let MIL finish the left overs while taking the child home nobody bothered to collect.

That's really funny Skribble! I like it. Will substitute ds's broody godmother for MIL and it might just work...hmm (she says, stroking beard thoughtfully)

Have bought LOTS of red white and blue bunting and some with Cath Kidston cowboys on. Feel as if this is Major Achievement and party is now Nearly Organised.
I am in a Fool's Paradise.

My DS's birthday was space themed BIL was dj and DH was bouncer. Got kids into 2 teams and they had 5 mins to sellotape loads of green crepe and stuff on to them to make the best alien. It was hilarious.

I would seriously condsider hiring the local hall. I would never have party in house. We had an extra half hour once we cleared up and got all the RC cars out and bugged the hell out of the caretaker who thought she was getting home early. Great de-stresser.

Just seen this. Will get my nanny to dig out recipe for chocolate krispy cakes thing and read to me over the phone later today so will post later.

Biscuit numbers are brilliant and a recurring theme at the DCs parties: it was a friends 50th birthday recently and DCs made lots of 5 and 0 ones which he was chuffed to pieces about. Make sure you get the right size, though - several places I saw them advertised were very small - these are about 2 inches.

Anchovy/anyone - where can I hire a giant 4 cake tin?

DH got ours from Jane sodding Asher as it was on the way home for him and we left it a bit late to do any due diligence on this. Pricey! However have since discovered that where we live (SW15) there are a couple of cake shops who rent out tins for a couple of quid a time. Try: independent cookery shops; cake shops; yellow pages; Jane Asher if you are desparate. Lots of places do it, I think, just don't advertise it very much.

Hmm - maybe our posh deli. Otherwise will google for one. Thanks!

Oh, just had a thought. DH has a book on making birthday cakes (hope I'm not compromising his masculinity by revealing this!) which shows you how to make numbers out of square cakes. The "4" looks really easy to make - and looks good, and they've done it like a little runway with some chocolate planes on it, but you could just ice it as a plain number. I can probably scan and email it to you if you want.

DS is having a 4th party in mid Spetember and I was looking at it a couple of days ago, so I've just been thinking about all of this myself!

do you have a kitchen supplies type shop near you - an independent (not a Robert Dyas type) - I know that Cookery Nook in Blackheath has them and imagine that every other equivalently named shop would also provide this sort of service.

Otherwise you are reduced to cooking a cake in a roasting tin and then using a knife, copious quantities of butter icing and your best meccano skills to produce your own "4". Once the whole thing is covered in icing it is always fine.

Hmmm...blackheath not too far away from us...
Anchovy, ds if 4 on the 17th. Think I will go for the tin idea. Was thinking, if I got 1 and 4 could do dd's 14th, baby's 1st and ds's 4th - all this year! Sadly my 41st has been and gone

And anyway, ds thinks I'm 34, and I can't disillusion him, can I?

Just found the numbers - look on Great Little Trading Company (gltc.co.uk) Those are the ones that are the right size. Last year we did some cheesy/savoury "1"'s for DD and her mates to suck on and very garish "3"'s for DS.

aloha haven;t read the whole thread (no chance of you turning into joke mum of London, surely?) but I wd say that children will sit better for entertainment if they have eaten before.
The timings may make this tricky (what sort of meal are we eating at 3.30pm, i often wonder) but that's true of most afternnoon parties. I wd try to do the food at 3.30pm, perhaps invite for 3pm, quick game of pass the parcel or just run around with balloons and toys (have you hired a hall or is this at home?)
and then punch and judy 4-5pm, party bags and hoem.
Agree that 1.5 hrs is a logn time for 4yos to sit still.
At our monster joint party for ds1 and dd this summer we had arrive 12 and play, food 12.15 - 12.45, clown who did magic and games 12.45-1.45, then b/day cake and party bags and home at 2pm. 30+ children aged 2-6 sat immaculately, i think because they had all eaten. hth

oh right on reading the thread I see many think the opposite of me, ie they will eat better after entertainment. hmmm...
maybe I didn't do the sugar rush food, but honest, no prob with crazy tinies refusing to sit still.
anchovy your fab food sounds just like mine!
(I also did raspberries and strawberries, bizarrely popular)
Number cutters are great, nigella butter biscuit recipe is what you need.

Be warned, there is not much what could be termed "nutiritious goodness" in this but it sure tastes good.....

Melt together 3x65g mars bars and 90g butter (my nanny who was reading this to me over the phone admits that she adds a tbs golden syrup as well). Add 75g rice crispies (or really as much as it needs - think we add a bit more than this). Put in an 11x7 inch shallow pan (or whatever). When it has cooled, melt 200g plain chocolate with 25g butter and pour over as a topping. Chill, cut into squares and listen to your fillings shrieking as you eat it.

OMG, that does sound artery-closing good...

I'm still pondering the before v after schools of thought on the feeding thing...

Punch and Judy. Fantastic! I love Punch and Judy.

I find kids don't want too much structure at a party so don't be afraid of a little free-play. Musical statues is easy and there are no props required. Some kids cry when sent out, but it's all good training.

Try to make sure all the presents and cards are collected and put in a safe place if you want to remember who gave what and if you don't want to be picking up bits of broken anonymous toy stuff.

I think I'll keep it quite small and do a pass the parcel and let them play in the garden if the weather is fine.Hopefull iwth my P&J man and a big trifle there won't be lots of free time!
I'm much more excited about the Punch & Judy than ds is!

ooh actually Aloha my top party tip is to have a pen handy so when you are given a prezzie you can write on it in large letters who it is from.
(then open them later of course, for lots of good reasons).
That way, when the tag someone has stuck on falls off (as it will) you still know who it's from.

Good idea Clary, thanks. Will print this thread off and clutch it to my bosom. Thanks!

Haven't read all the thread but the best tip I got from mn was PLATE UP THE FOOD FIRST. This works brilliantly and saves loads of time. I also found that they wanted to be off playing after the savouries and instead of bringing out all the sweet treats I'd prepared, I just gave them a large brightly decorated fairy cake each and they were off to the bouncy castle.

If you are going to do pass the parcel I find it can take ages for each child to get a prize (if that is the way you are going to do it). At a recent party the mother had prepared 2 parcels and passed them round simultaneously so each time the music stopped 2 children got to take off a wrapper. I though it was brilliant and will definitely be doing this at ds's party.