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Kids not having birthday parties

86 replies

jenkel · 25/08/2005 13:47

Ok, I'll probably get my head bitten off by writing this by somebody on here but here goes.

My dd has just turned 3 and we had a lovely large party in the garden, about 8 3 year olds, the siblings and mums and dads. It was a lovely day and my dd really enjoyed herself. We have had a party for her every year and couldnt imagine not doing that. We even had a smaller party for her sister in Feb, smaller as it had to be inside but we still had a lovely day.

My 3 year old is a part of a group of other 3 year olds and we seen each other quite a lot, a couple of them have never held a birthday party in all the 3 years, but they are quite happy to go to all the others. This really annoys me, firstly I feel sorry of the child that hasnt had a birthday party and I think its a cheek to go to all the others. I wouldnt ever not invite the child but why do parents to this. Yes birthday parties for toddlers are hard work and they can be expensive but you dont need to do it expensiveley, what do you others think?

OP posts:
FairyMum · 25/08/2005 18:35

I think it's up to the parents to decide and I don't think it's cheeky to attend others party even if you don't have one yourself. Some 3 year olds might enjoy a party, others might just want to invite one friend and the grand parents around at that age. I have been to horribly big parties where the birthday child ended up in her room crying totally traumatised when the other children wanted to play with her toys and for some it's just too overwhelming. I think at school age, most kids do enjoy parties and I think the parents should make an effort.

beatie · 25/08/2005 19:03

jenkel ~ Perhaps these other parents will throw a party once their children are school age

caligula · 25/08/2005 19:04

My DS spent much of his fourth birthday party hiding from the guests in his shed.

jac34 · 25/08/2005 19:28

I'm not keen on parties at all, I only remember having one as a child, and I think I cried all the way through as I hated it so much.
I personaly, also think they are a complete waste of money, especially for very young children.

My DS's had their first party last year for their 6th birthday, they enjoyed it but to me it was a nightmare. In the past we've always had a cheapish, weekend away and took in an attraction or two while there. Everyone, has always enjoyed this as we spend time as a family. Their birthday is in October, so we manage to visit attractions in their last weekend of opening before the winter. It is usually our last break before the Winter and cold dark nights set in.
This year I'm trying to avoid a party,I realy don't think they get as much enjoyment out of it.

emkana · 25/08/2005 19:37

So what would happen if the other parents said to you "We don't feel it's fair that we attend your parties without having one ourselves, but we can't/don't want to have a party ourselves, so sorry we won't come"

  • where would that leave your child?
Ameriscot2005 · 25/08/2005 19:42

My kids go to parties that they are invited to if we are able to. I don't have any dilemmas at not reciprocating with a party of our own. I don't think the invitations come attached with any conditions (except for a present).

frannyf · 25/08/2005 19:48

Blimey, I think you have had a rough ride on here Jenkel! I don't think what you have admitted to is necessarily the 'right' way to feel - I am sure if we are perfect we would never have any nasty critical thoughts about anyone else, ever - but I must admit in my heart of hearts I agree with you.

I had a party for my son's 1st birthday and invited 12 people. We went out for an activity which I sent 'get in free' passes to them for. I was dissapointed that not one parent of those 12 had a party for their child that year. I must admit I had been looking forward to my son being able to enjoy a few party invitations. 4 people did not turn up but did not return the passes. And most of them did not even buy a present for my son! I know that is not what it is all about, but I do think it is rude. It's not a huge deal, it doesn't mean I wouldn't ask them again, it doesn't mean they are bad parents or any of the things that people seem to think Jenkel has implied, but IMO it is rude.

(now ducking and running for cover!)

frannyf · 25/08/2005 19:50

Just reread what I've written and can see how crap and petty it all sounds - but just wanted you to know you are not totally alone in your petty and crap thoughts, jenkel

colditz · 25/08/2005 21:15

Ps, thanks custardo, I'm not weird then.

I honestly cannot imagine anything worse than a house full of uncontrolled over-excited 3 year olds.

My ds doesn't like parties anyway. I didn't when I was a child. Too much chaos and noise.

expatinscotland · 25/08/2005 21:16

Well put, catsmother!

WestCountryLass · 25/08/2005 21:35

Colditz, that' why you have them out of the houe LOL

FWIW, I 'do' parties, both my DS and DD had naming ceremonies on their first birthday held at a leisure centre and the kids went swimming. I did go to town and why shouldn't I? It's my babys first birthday and I wanted to celebrate!

DSs 2nd birthday was at a softplay centre and his third we had a party for him on a train. I do make an extra special effort to organise a fantastic party because I love doing it, I don't expect payback at all.

We have been to parties at people houses and I think kids have a great time if they get to let their hair down and eat loads of nice food

Oh and we have friend round for tea at least once a week, I love having people round but I don't expect parent who are horrified at the thought of entertaining to invite me back.

You either do it cos you like doing it and don't give to receive or you don't bother in my book!

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