Tea room 16 welcome to Shangri-la

[UniS]

Shangri-la = a hidden valley with beautiful views and crystal streams of course, and some inter-far eastern type of chalet things set around a Serene Courtyard with ever-blooming Japanese cherry trees, lots of refreshing fragrant teas, silk cushions, tinkling tiny waterfalls and bonsai trees, Gardens of Tranquillity etc.

Home to teh 16th Tea room, a haven for those with one or more or less children who like cake, tea, talking nonsense and oggling Mellors ( our handyman/ butler). If its your first vist, pull up a cushion .Mind out for the guinea pigs and other pets and do take care not to squash the teeny tiny naked mowhawk babies ( nmbs
, no longer naked and now toilet trained you will glad to hear)as they go about their duties helping Mellors.

Confused... come on, jump in and have a hot chocolate.

If she does, thumb, that would be okay, too. I doubt she will, but I'm fully prepared to step away/flounce from it. This is the first time ever I'm not looking forward to camping.

Please don't feel isolated, thumb. I probably won't get to go cuz of where I live and hauling BabyScout around the Big Smoke in the heat isn't my idea of a good time.

BabyScout caught his first yawn this morning. It was so cute!

Asmallbunch, no DD doesn't have SN. I've every faith in the head, who I've found to be a strong leader at the school. She is going to speak to the Yr5/6 teachers, and to speak to DD and this other girl individually, to assess the facts, then report back - she is not the sort to tolerate bullying and is very "hands on". She is understanding of my wanting not to involve the other parents at this point, which is also good.

Oh good, Mary, it sounds like things might be looking up a bit. A good Head makes all the difference, I think. I'm glad to hear she's taking your concerns seriously and is investigating the situation.

MrThumb managed to annoy me before he even got home. He was due back at 2:30 - I phoned him at 2pm to ask him to pick up some coal as we were nearly out - but no answer! (He should have, he has bluetooth handsfree in the car and he should have been 2/3 of the way home).I phoned again a couple of times over the next half hour - nothing. Eventually he phone me back - he was just leaving, 2 hours late! Grr. But ok - except the fire was going to go out through lack of coal. But ok.

Then 20 mins later, he phones again to let me know that he left my pillow in Melbourne (he took one because he finds them better to sleep on than hotel pillows) BUT that the hotel has found it and will keep it for him until he goes back on 3rd August. Oh good. No doubt he'll forget to bring it back then as well.(For those wondering why I'm calling it my pillow, it's because it is - one of my Harrods' sale down and feather pillows that I bought when I set up house!)

Grump.

Shall I make him cook dinner?

A meet-up?

TW, yes. Definitely.

Had a wonderful email from Mrs Guider this morning. Burden feels lighter already!

I told him - he is!

Scout - that's great. Hope things work out ok on this for you.

Good Scout - what did lovely MrsGuider suggest? I hope that she said walk away from the role and just come and help with your nice group!

TW - 'dh's' [roll-eyes].... Dh is working at home today and had organised the carpet fitters to come and fit the lino in cloakroom and bathroom (after our flooding issues in the cloakroom - that was spoilt - and we found that once you took the standard minimum charge into account and looked at the roll ends, we could get the bathroom done at the same time as the cloakroom for about the amount that the insurance would pay).. we chose the lino about 6wks ago - one is soft beiges and the other is turquoise and blue - had a call this morning saying 'which ones's which?'... Let's see... the cloakroom runs off the hall that has beige carpet, and the cloakroom is small with cream walls... The bathroom currently has a blue carpet and blue bits (although, granted it needs redecorating).. I wonder which goes where

I am also of a London meet-up - just too far for us to come I'm afraid.. I am, however, definitely going to try to arrange somethign with Amber and possibly CMoT if she's at aged parents' house - hopefully horse related - visiting Ambers... Hopefully that would take the pressure off Amber as we'll really all be going to see the horse! Amber - any more news on the potential new dog?

Mary - I do hope that the head works something out and gets this problem sorted for your dd

Lovely Mrs Guider thanked me for my very open and honest email. Said she too had been worrying about overburdening me with BabyScout, treatment and QMing (she is one of the few that knows the full story about treatment and she is part of my support network, willing and able to help take me to appointments or take BabyScout for a bit if needed). She is out all day today with Guiding things and visiting a sick friend in hospital, but said we'll talk tomorrow to come up with a cunning plan to sort everything out and help me gain my sanity back.

I've decided DHs don't see the same messes and decorations that we DWs do. I just shake my head and say "boys!"

There seem to be a lot of horsey people about -- both here and in RL. Is it an English thing? At home girls go through a "horse phase" but it's only ever just that (at least where I grew up). I never did.

My mother thought it was a 'phase' when I became horse mad aged 6... so I was given riding lessons with the object of getting it out of my system. I haven't ridden for about 15 years now due to cost etc - but, as you can probably work out, it wasn't really a phase!

YES!!!

Ooo are we dancin'?
I'll join in...

Why are we dancin'?

Had a chat with Mrs Guider this afternoon and I'm off cooking duty. Possibly not the resolution I wanted (I really do enjoy QMing despite it being one of the hardest jobs), but am very happy. Means I don't have to be frustrated for eight days. They have come up with a solution to the QM issue for my subcamp. And Mrs Guider talked to Madam Guider who, apparently, kept repeating "oh, I hope I didn't upset Scout" and Mrs Guider neither confirmed nor denied (which if I said that and someone wouldn't say, I would take it as I had). Sounds like overall planning committee is also now going to write job descriptions (why they didn't have them before, I don't know!) because Mrs G said that Madam G has been doing EVERYTHING when she has a team that she should be delegating to.

Result!

I have a different role now, as well as being Mrs G's second-in-command, which I always am, even when QMing.

That's great Scout! So glad it is resolved - hope it now means you can enjoy the camp after all - but do reserve the right to sack it at the last minute, just in case.

Turns on disco lights and dances too - sips lolly water and mouths things like "You are fab" and pulls loving faces at everyone!

Sorry I am upto my ears with work and friend and children.... I haven't read back yet. Will do when I have time!

What's the plan for Saturday???? I have no idea if we will make it. Things are a bit messy but if I can I WILL!!!

Can I bring my truck?

oxeye - can you CAT me?

I am trying to CAT you but have to pay first and I keep getting a suspicious message about security that I am unsure about filling in [nervous about someone stealing all the money I haven't got emotion].

hi guys,

Haven't been around for a few days. Just read through the posts I missed.

Mary - That is really fab news, the head sounds great. Good on you for being so proactive.

Scout - Good on you too! That situation sounded a nightmare and it's awful to begin to dread things you usually love.

Mistle and Thumb - I hear you re dhs. Dh asked to switch some house responsibilities with me, he requested that I do the car and he'll do the laundry. One week in and the laudry pile is my height and a lovely top of mine was put in the wrong wash and ripped (it was a delicate flimsy top) .

LittleO is still lashing out all the time in anger. Just half and hour ago he asked if we had any blueberries and brioche. I told him we had run out and would go shopping tomorrow. He hit me!!!! Then I confiscated a toy. He scrawled me, then I confiscated another and so on. I don't know what to do . Do you know the worst part, usually when he hits out he seems really angry and upset and totally caught up in it. Today he looked calm and was actually smiling as he did it . I am at a total loss. I know it sounds really bad, but I am not a bad parent. We have a lot of fun together and are very child centred but we also have strict rules on hitting etc. We never let it go, we always take away a toy as it seems the most effective. We give him loads and loads of attention throughout the day so I don't believe its just an any attention will do sort of situation. Any words of advice or comfort?????

AandO behaviour management is something I have to work very hard at too. I have moments where I have to pull the reins in and I think "Eeeeek WHAT is happening?!?".

Generally for big things liked the hitting you described we find acting like Milk murdered someone and sending her to her room sorts it out.

We then talk about the whys and alternative ways of dealing with her feelings afterwards when all is calm. e.g.

"It is normal to feel thirst but in this World "Please may I have a drink?" tends to get you further than belly sliding across the kitchen screaming "I AM THIRSTY RAAAAAH RAAAH"

Beer and I also do a lot of purposely talking about Milk infront of her.

e.g "I am really sad Daddy, because today Milk ..................................., isn't that terrible?"

"Oh how awful! And usually she is such a good lovely thing!"

When she is being as good as gold we big it up in this way too!

We also play the naughty nice game sometimes as we walk to school. We talk about a scene and discuss in a joking tone if it is naughty or nice.

As I have mentioned on this thread before my MIL used the word naughty with dd and she really got what it meant so although it isn't a word I favour it is the word we use with dd. "A bit on the naughty side" is how we often phrase things when they are not too serious.

Wriggle has somehow learnt the word 'naughty' and uses it a lot: 'You are weely naughty, Mummy. You tappes the cochon on the head with the balle and I am weely weely cross.' I don't know where to start correcting; the franglais, the blatant misrepresentation of the facts or the inability to pronounce 'r' ....

Today she told me very seriously, 'Saying 'no' to your mummy is naughty. It is very sad'.' It was as if she were possessed by a different well behaved child. I think they may have rehearsed them at nursery.

If it is any comfort, A, she bit me in the neck this evening and I can't even remember why. There didn't seem to be much malice involved, just a sudden terrible frustration. I don't take it personally. She seemed surprised when it hurt.

I see I have lots to look forward to!!!

It creeps up on you, Scout, in tiny baby steps ....

Oxeye and Small, did you see my tentative suggestion of the 22nd?

Thanks guys .

Tea, will Milk stay in her room if you send her in there? Just asking as LittleO would just run right out screaming and hitting. The same happened with the 'naughty step'. He would get off it immediately and run off. We had to hold him there but then he would just get more and more angry, being contained physically and all that, and struggle and lash out even more.

In the end we found that confiscating toys was the most effective. They mean alot to him and he really wants them back, he has to calm down and apologise before they are returned. During the apology we ask him why we confiscated the toy, why he shouldn't hit/bite etc. He tells us that he shouldn't hit because it hurts people and makes them sad. So we do discuss it with him. We also do the talking about him on purpose, though more so with good behaviour I think.

This afternoon I told him that he is hitting far too much and doesn't seem to be learning that hitting is a bad thing to do and so next time he hits etc the toy will be confiscated and he won't get it back until the next morning. I think this has to be the next tactic as at the mo he know he can hit and then just calm down, apologise, explain what he has done wrong, and then get the toy straight back.

I think perhaps thinking of alternative ways of dealing with anger and chatting to him about them is a good idea. What alternatives do you suggest to Milk, Tea?

yes please to GG Haiti badge. I think I shall have to stock up on some dartmoor badges to exchange. for me e/snail mail , see web site I suggested a bit below.

Good for you and Mrs G scout. I have very fond memories of a district commissioner called Mrs G, I knew her when I was a small child going to camp with mum. She was very very kind to me when I was a bit ill one night..

I have a cold and am going to bed soon. just as soon as I think night nurse might see me through till morning.