Tea room 16 welcome to Shangri-la

[UniS]

Shangri-la = a hidden valley with beautiful views and crystal streams of course, and some inter-far eastern type of chalet things set around a Serene Courtyard with ever-blooming Japanese cherry trees, lots of refreshing fragrant teas, silk cushions, tinkling tiny waterfalls and bonsai trees, Gardens of Tranquillity etc.

Home to teh 16th Tea room, a haven for those with one or more or less children who like cake, tea, talking nonsense and oggling Mellors ( our handyman/ butler). If its your first vist, pull up a cushion .Mind out for the guinea pigs and other pets and do take care not to squash the teeny tiny naked mowhawk babies ( nmbs
, no longer naked and now toilet trained you will glad to hear)as they go about their duties helping Mellors.

Confused... come on, jump in and have a hot chocolate.

Scout! Don't you know who the Wombles are? Of WImbledon Common? They go around cleaning up litter and finding other uses for it. So - scavenging, yes.

Oh, I didn't know that either. Things you learn on MN , good to know it isn't all BS and stuff...

Remember you're a Womble! for all those who don't know the Wombles, and all those who would like to remember!

Nope, sorry! But hey, learn something new every day!

The Wombles were fantatic! Their anti-littering message was brilliant!

Racing - I'm allergic to Dora the Explorer unfortunately... its the shouting that does it, and the awful 'story' lines and the American accent (no offence meant Scout)(I don't object to Americans speaking with an American accent, but I don't think children's programmes should encourage it in UK children). I'll have to see which ones of Ds's DVDs have a French option - if he's already seen it in English lots of times and knows the story that might be quite a good option.... Certainly better than Romanian and similar whihc he has a tendency to want to play them in! I wonder if you can get Meg and Mog in French?

UniS - paddling in stream sounds idea. What size feet does boy have now - I know they were wide...

Scout - the wombles - you don't know what you've missed!!! And of course, there's Bagpus, The Clangers, Ivor the Engine.... All wonderful and good for small children and not too bad for adults either

Mary - sorry you're still having problems with the girls. What do school say about the whole situation?

I see that there's some marble cake left over - ideal to accompany morning coffee or drink of choice - anyone else?

Mistle, I didn't realise that Dora has an American accent becuase I hav e never heard it in English. Wriggle listens to it in French, when they teach a few English words (with a strong 'foreign' accent for some reason).

Does Dora SHOUT in the French version too? AWFUL shouting. And generally speaking none of the phrases are the right shape (ifykwim) and most end in SHOUTING. HORRID [shivers]

None taken, mistle. Though I often wonder why people over here get so upset that actors (including voice actors for cartoons) in American tv programs have American accents. It's not encouraging British children to have American accents, surely? I've heard that complaint a lot since having BabyScout. We get British programming in the States (I was watching Postman Pat when I went home) and no one complains that watching the program makes their toddlers have English accents. It does make me wonder what people will say of BabyScout's accent. He spends practically 24/7 with me and my American accent, though he is surrounded (in the outside world) by English accents. I use both British and American vocabulary to him (ie, nappy/diaper) but except he'll have an English accent with a natural hint of American in it.

Still very frustrated/upset/hurt by events of yesterday. Am so tempted to name change and post in AIBU, which I have never done and swore I never would. Someone please stop me!!!

SCout - did we miss something? What events upset you? Can we help?

Scout - did I miss something - what happened? Sorry, tend to isolate myself somewhat on this thread and not venture too far away!

Re American programmes - no, I accept that American sitcoms and American cartoons are going to have American accents - and I can cope with that. However, I still think that nothing beats a good bit of Oliver Postgate for children (in the UK at least) to listen to. And I do object strongly to mistlechick using Americanisms that he's picked up from programmes (sounds as if he watches it non-stop which certainly isn't the case!) which are incorrect use of the words in England... Like 'Its sure is' rather than 'It certainly is' or 'It really is'.... [sorry, rant over!] Mind you, I also am ensuring that he grows up being able to speak with a relatively non-regional accent - even if he switches to a regional one when he's at school with his friends (and teachers!)... Its not a Boos, its a Bus. No, we can't walk oop to the shop - we can walk ahp to it though

No, didn't miss anything -- didn't post about it. Figured I was being silly/oversensitive but a full day later I'm still fuming. That's not like me and it's not good.

Not sure how much I can say without outting myself too much. It has to do with camping next month and personality conflicts. I like to think I'm laid-back and can get along with most people but one woman has pushed me over the edge literally and I feel like walking away from camp. She is micromanaging me (and the rest of the "team") to the point where I (feel I) have no control over what I'm meant to be doing. In addition, she made some really horrible/personal attacks/comments to me at our meeting yesterday morning. My unit guider said to me last night she noticed me holding my tongue a lot -- it was very hard to do, but didn't want to end up in a shouting match while I had BabyScout with me. I thought my Tuesday morning swimming with BabyScout would calm me (it did, but only temporarily) and that sleeping on it would make me feel better, as I usually have better perspective a day away from a confrontation, but I don't.

The woman in charge is from another unit, one we don't normally camp with/do things with, so really, I just need to get through this and then will only have to see her at Division and County events. But it's a week of camping, with BabyScout, ten days after starting my medical treatment which has really nasty side effects that can last weeks, so not sure how much I really want to bite my tongue. I have let a lot of the micromanaging go (despite being frustrated by it) but the comments/attacks yesterday sent me over the edge. I've already been biting my tongue for so long and so hard I'm surprised I haven't bitten it off!

(And breathe....)

Sorry for the rant.

(Any more discussions on parcel swapping?)

DId she insult you in front of someone else?? That's so unprofessional and rude and just wrong! (insulting you is obviously wrong of its own accord, it's just worse in front of someone else)

I'd be tempted to ask questions thus:
DO you think I am unable to do this job?
Do you think you can do a better job of this than I can?
If the answer to either of these is no, then back off, lady, and let me get on with it. If you think you can do a better job - here you go, I'm offski.
And depart.

But then I'm quite confrontational.

Haven't actually posted in AIBU, but was sorely tempted to! I tend to just read other threads but only a few do I ever post on (a couple of regulars like here and a postnatel one).

My DH will make comments to me about my "incorrect grammar" but I often have to remind him that it IS correct, just not what he would say. And I found out one of my phrases (for the life of me can't think of it off the top of my head) which seems to drive DH around the bend is actually Shakespearean English. Whenever he decides to make a comment I tell him "if it was good enough for the Bard it's good enough for me!"

And actually, mistle, you've reminded me I should get out BabyScout's Paddington Bear CDs. In his Christmas stocking he got a CD set of Stephen Fry reading some of the Paddington books. Don't know Oliver Postgate.... Do know Bagpuss and the Clangers, but only because my ILs have a couple of videos for the DGC.

Oliver Postgate (mayherestinpeace) - lovely stuff. Ivor the Engine, Noggin the Nog as well as Bagpuss and the Clangers. The first thing I introduced miniThumb to was Ivor the Engine.

She did so in front of not one, but two other people (one being her daughter), two dogs and two children (BabyScout being one). Tried very hard to remain calm and not respond for the sake of BabyScout as I know babies respond to their mother's cues and I didn't want him to get upset/become unsettled at her house, especially since I needed to bundle him in the car and rush home for swimming.

Thing is, she does think she can do it better than me and has actually done everything for me "because this is what I do for my unit." When you are in charge of a camp, you collect a team to do the other jobs cook, first aid, health/sanitation, etc. and you let them sort things out and then clear it with you. She has sorted/planned everything out, told me what I'm doing but then asked for opinions/did I have any questions. I did, and I had a concern, so I voiced them (grant it, via email) and I got slammed. Also found out last night that leader was upset before the meeting, which is why we had meeting and that she had "calmed down." Don't ask me if I have questions/comments/concerns if you don't want to hear them!!! And do not, I repeat, DO NOT make personal attacks and expect me to sit there and take it. I did respond to one or two of them (especially the comment about my American-ness) but like I said, held a lot in because of BabyScout.

In the grand scheme of things, it's camp and it's a volunteer camp at that, so not worth getting worked up over. I'm trying to keep it all in perspective. But I am really struggling.

Scout. really, if it's causing you this much anxiety, suggest you pull out. If she thinks she can do it so much better, let her. Really. See how she gets on without you.

Cite your treatment as being why you can't do it - the side effects will be too much, your doc has told you you need to rest, the whole thing will be too much for you to handle with Baby Scout as well. You have the ammo, use it.

Please don't put yourself through this - it's not worth it. And there is no perspective - she has no business making personal attacks!

I have no doubt that your treatment will need you to be in tiptop shape to cope with it - you can't be uberstressed, it will make any side-effects worse.

I know. It's what DH says, too. Or he says to tell her to back off and that I'm doing it my way as it's my job/role. He wants to email her and tell her where to shove things. He tried to introduce himself to her at the big event on Saturday and she turned away from him -- it's not that she didn't see him, as she had just spoken to him ("I guess I'll be seeing you at camp") so he said "Hi, I'm DH" and put out his hand. I'm struggling, though, because leader doesn't know of medical treatment. It's not something I advertise to the world (internet seems different because of annomity (spelling) and because I haven't gone into detail). Could use BabyScout as an excuse (her own daughter using her three year old as excuse not to have set role) but I know I could do it with BabyScout. Help me be brave and do it!

(I sound so pathetic. Apologies for the big ol' whine fest. I feel very deflated today.)

Here is the best place to let off steam - and to get support and help.

Ok, leader doesn't need to know of treatment. Just say that under the circumstances you feel that the atmosphere of the camp will not be conducive to BabyScout's general wellbeing and best interests, so you will be withdrawing your voluntary services from this camp. SHe can make of that what she will and stick it up her arse.

She sounds like a right rude bitch - how unnecessarily rude to your DH as well!

{HUGS} Scout, you don't sound pathetic at ALL, she sounds like a right bitch!

DD is still having problems with this girl... , am thinking about asking the school for advice

Mary - that's so - can you not get together with the parents of these girls, as you say you are friendly with them, and ask them what they think would be a good way forward? Or are they the types to say "Not my daughter, she'd never do something like that".

School might be the best way to go

{hugs} to Mary and her DD. It's hard watching the DCs go through struggles.

I am actually dreading camping for the first time. I LOVE going to camp, even all of the hard work beforehand. I did three weeks of camping last summer, 7 months pregnant with BabyScout -- 1 week Guide camp, 1 week jamboree set-up, 1 week jamboree (I was on the core team of a subcamp team of a major UK jamboree). LOVED every minute of it, though I was knackered by the last night. Then a few weeks later did a weekend camp at eight months pregnant AND did the QM for that one (planning, shopping, packing, cooking and clearing away after). Thing is I know I can do it, but I don't want to any more.

oh, oh, on a positive note!

My big girls (my Seniors) made £23 last night at the district fundraising event. That's £23 in our unit account which has no money because we've just re-opened the unit. YAY for my girlies! AND all of them turned up last night to help and do the activities of the younger girls so they (the younger girls) could earn money, too. So very proud of my (big) girlies!!