Tea Room the Fifteenth - The Viking Hall

[amberlight]

Here we are in the 15th instalment of the Tea Room for the One Child Family board. All are welcome, whether parents of a single splendid offspring or any other number.
We are this time in a Viking Long Hall tearoom, complete with optional helmets, roaring log fires (in case of chilly spring evenings), rugs aplenty, and all the usual mod cons of life as well.
Our Viking tea room contains Mellors the gardener/handyperson with a talent for relaxing massage (amongst a variety of other characters including Bishops, camels, bison, horses, guinea pigs, dogs, etc etc for reasons that would take too long to explain but you're welcome to read the other Tea Room threads and prepare to have your mind thoroughly boggled). Plenty of tea/coffee/cake/virtual bolly always on offer.
Join us, relax, chat, enjoy.

here it is

When people can't be bothered with basic manners, it's no surprise that other people on the rough end of it start to feel insecure, is it.

Mary, have a hug or a soothing shoulder rub. You know we're always glad to see you here.

The coat of arms was only my first, crude attempt. I am sure there's scope for improvement. After all, there isn't a handyman recumbent on it yet!

Home made lemonade here for anyone wilting in the heat.

The thing is IRL it is cleaning day and to help me along a bit I made myself a cup of tea... to begin with it was too hot but now it has had time to cool down and I fancy drinking some but there is a problem - It is no-where to be seen!!!

Can anyone help me work out where I may have put it?

On a window ledge?

MARY, would you like to come to my birthday party? I havn't told Dh yet that I'm thinking of having one, might be a house warming party as well. Can;t promise a BBQ or fine weather.

problem with walking to the pool is actually the walk back. liable to end up hotter than when we went out and dustier than ever. He will walk a few miles quite happily once we get going so I'm doing a bit of a disservice. my latest idea to to go up there en famile at weekend. Or I might take boy up by bike for a picnic tomorrow.

DHs car share isn't working very well at the mo. its down to 1 day a week so I only have the car 1 weekday a fortnight.

Just want to share my frustration now:
I am trying to dig the bed for the beans, as this is my morning off. The soil is rock hard clay with flints and it takes a couple of minutes to work the fork in each time and get out and clean a forkful. The soil was much better, but DH dumped subsoil on top when digging out the stoep. (And he teaches horticulture!)
Every time I get started, Wriggle tries to stop me; standing in my way and whining, getting stung by nettles, taking her shirt off and needing suncream, being hungry, being thirsty ...
I now had her eating a picnic breakfast in the shade next to me.
Aged Parent then comes and asks me to write a letter to her bank for her which will take at least half an hour finding account numbers, addresses, the printer for the laptop etc.
I am so horrified by my latest shape due to comfort eating at times of frustration that I have put myself on a healthy diet and woke up at 3am because I was so hungry. I am therefore hungry and unreasonable.
Now I have exactly 10 minutes of my morning left and I have wasted half of it whingeing to people who probably are all out anyway!
This is me screaming [s hock]

And I now realise that many of you have far greater problems than that. [b lush] [s ob]

Tea, I solve that problem at school by having hot chocolate (sold chocolate in the summer) and having the children sniff it out for me. Could Milk to trained? Or puppy?

Racing - This isn't space and here we can hear you scream.

I understand your frustration. I find it very annoying when I'm trying to focus on something and can't because everyone wants something from me (trivial stuff which they could sort for themselves, not life and death stuff when, of course, I am all theirs). Is Wriggle still in her jigsaw mania phase? Could you set out a tempting array of puzzles on a table in the shade while you dig? Or have you run out of time anyway?

I am going out now to try and fox-proof the garden fence. The fox cubs are sooo cute but are trashing the flower beds and damaging the fence as they scrabble under it. Where is Mellors when you need him? I'm sure he could fix my fence in 10 minutes and then he could rumble down to Racing on the ride-on mower.

RS, everyone, tea, soup, rolls etc available for those sobbing, screaming, hiding, tearing their hair out in frustration or otherwise.

I fit into all the above categories, so am nicking an extra roll and borrowing the Viking duvet and the new coat of arms-covered horse blanket. Mine is entitled "why the frog can't my bosses just be honest and tell me that it'll take another month to sort things out instead of writing to me to tell me that it'll be last week, then this week, then 'some time'? I'm the autism adviser and the first rule of handling autistic people is Be Specific. I'm so stressed out not knowing what my job is or who my bosses will be or where I'll be theoretically based.

There, I feel better for that now. Thank you.

Time ran out an took Wriggle out to play with her friend. She refused to speak to friend, refused even to try the lunch they had cooked for us and burst into tears when I asked her what was wrong. After half an hour embarrassment got too much and I took her home. Am assuming that she must be ill and so have adminstered calpol and a duvet because she is 'so cold'!

Amber, could you send a memo or an e-mail explaining your problem? Can be easier than face to face, as it gives them thinking time before getting back to you, rather than automatic defensive reaction.

Wriggle sounds poorly . Lots of hugs and a spare duvet from me!

Hugs Amber, i know how hard you've worked to try to get it through their thick skulls . And they say WE'RE not empathic! .

And thanks UniS for your invitation, would LOVE to come VERY MUCH, but I fear it may be a little far... did I say we're holidaying at Woolacombe end of July/beg August? Is that far from you?

RS, yup = done that, and explained how much stress it is for me. Now the boss says he'll let me know in another month. A whole month of worrying, though that's better than 'we don't know when'.

Hope wriggle's a lot better soon.

MaryBS, thank you for the hugs. Appreciated.

Bosses, eh? Mine asked me if I was interested in an opportunity which is coming up, and then indicated that it had been assumed I wouldn't want it and I was only being asked for form's sake, as the job's pretty much been promised to someone else.

Consolatory iced chocolate, anyone?

Oh go on then...just a small bucketful for me...

Where I used to work, the head of dept found someone he wanted to employ. HR said that he could have a new post, but it needed to be fairly advertised and interviewed competively. So he asked several people in the dept to apply for this (more senior) job, with the full knowledge that it was a sham. Caused the biggest dept war ever

My dad phoned me this afternoon when mum was out - this weekend he suggested sweet and sour pork for tea. She's cooked this for 40 years. She turned round to him and said she didn't know how to cook it. He got out a recipe book, but she couldn't follow that either . She seems to be getting worse much faster again.

Aged Parent does that sometimes, CMOT. I tend to get very irritated with her, which is of course unkind and unfair. And unhelpful. Then afterwards I wish I had just been cheerful and offhand and not worried her.

Oh drat, called in earlier without taking off my other disguise. Having two identities is very confusing. Mum's the word, eh ladies?

I did think it was you under a nom de plume, but didn't want to comment

My dad is hugely irritated by it all Racing, and I think if I had it day in, day out I would go insane. As it is, I am trying to just let her retell things, not fill in words unless she is prompting me to, and just take matters of food hygiene into my own hands. Dad is just trying to find reasons for them to eat out every day, bless him.

Actually, that would probably work very well as a kind of double bluff. No-one would ever believe it was you. To really confuse the nosey, what if we all posted under each others' names?

waahhhhh no, my brain is boiling.......

quick , cold water. over head. now sit in puddle. phew. I'll continue to post as me I think, twould be too confusing to post as you.
I am in fact Dave.

Mary- wollacoombe is about 45 miles away, but as this county doesn't DO north south roads it takes best part of 2 hours to drive there from here in summer ( only about 90mins in mid winter).
The Lynt0n and 3arnstable railway is quite nice for a bit of a day trip in north Devon. the volunteers who run it are very happy to talk techy with visitors. As the line is rather short there is lots of chances to watch the engine being shunted and coupled and coaled and the like if you have train mad family members.

CMOTD - so for your parents and you. It is hugely frustrating to live with - we had my Dad's mum come and live with us when she was no longer safe to be left on her own (went wandering in the middle of the night, leaving front door open, that kind of thing) - and it did get very frustrating dealing with her confusion on a daily basis. Have you said whether or not she has had a formal diagnosis?

Smallbunch - thought it was your style - glad to see I'm getting better at this!

My married name is only marginally less rare than my maiden name so I'd pass on using real names, even someone else using mine - I know I'm not the most internet-secure person but still!

well, I often post as myself - did you see me at Chelsea Flower Show today? I had a lovely do, don't you think

Racing, I feel your pain. Hope Wriggle is feeling better

I am awful with aged ps. I mean to be kind and thoughtful and helpful but just am not but it is distressing to lose ones grip. The worst thing about my gran's dementia were the odd moments when you glimpsed the person beneath - I'd think, no Gran please don't realise that this really is you and where you live and how you are just stay ignorant

Donk, thinking of you

Mary, big hugs for you too - do you have a friend in the church who would be kind and understanding in RL as well as us on here?

Milk look in the fridge

Oh yes, oxeye - my Gran had lucid periods when she could remember her "loony moments" (her words) - just awful.

Was this you oxeye?

Its difficult in many ways, re: friends at church, because of confidentiality, although there IS one lady I get on with, but she's not been there much recently. She's quite a bit younger than me though, works full time and doesn't have children.

UniS, we've done all the trains in North Devon I think, as DS is a train fanatic . The Lynton and Barnstaple one, is that the one at Woody Bay? We've also been down the "cliff-hugger" at Lynton. And the West Devon one. And the Minehead one, although of course thats in Somerset.

Feeling a bit better today, although DS is home, sick, hopefully its just a 24h thing, as we go on hols on Thursday night!