Tea Room the Tenth: Tea and cake and rock and roll

[MadBadandDangerousToKnow]

Welcome back to the tea room.

In the search for the perfect venue, we have now decamped to a rambling country estate. The once-decaying castle, now restored, is a boutique hotel, popular with rock and roll gentry and visiting bishops, and the tea room (which never closes) is located in a tastefully converted barn. The charming garden contains a duck pond and ends in a haha. We need the haha, of course, to stop the bison trampling the herbaceous borders. Mellors the gardener is, as ever, in charge of the grounds.

Please come and join us for a celebratory drink.

Hi
Well, I didn't realise it was such an international, cultured bunch of posters.

I am sorry to hear about your mum Catita. I know very well the 'tyranny of distance'. It is doubly hard when something goes wrong.

I am indeed in the Land of Oz, (DH is Aussie) have been for quite a while. Vegemite is nearly two, mostly delightful, but today a little devil.

We didn't experience the dust, instead we got ball sized hail stones!

Those hailstones sound scary !

Big hugs for your mum Catita.

Off on the biannual trek to get DS new shoes - his feet are very wide and very high in the instep. Then his preschool jabs. Am ashamed to say that I have laid in some sweets for post jab bribery

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, Catita. Please accept this (((hug))) and a (((virtual ginger nut))) until the real thing arrives.

Allyinoz - Love that your dc is called vegemite!

Must dash ...

TTFN

Large scotch please. Don't want to say too much in a public place but am not very happy with someone.

Another large scotch now please.

Head teacher had requested that I change my hours to accomodate another teacher who wants to go part time. Difficult class, very difficult teacher who has caused huge problems for me in the past, hours would be a couple of hours in the middle of every day, so that I could no longer do days out etc with Wriggle and would spend almost as much time travelling as I would teaching, so would end up losing money compared to now.

Was going to regretfully decline and I had really spent a lot of time thinking about how I could help and fit with their needs while looking after myself too by keeping some of the things which are important to me.

Head has just called me in to say that she can force me to teach any class and any hours that suit the school and I will not be consulted, simply informed.

Am devastated and have been sitting in my classroom full of children trying not to cry. I will lose the class I love, a lot of time with WRiggle and quite a bit of money, all to fit in with the wishes of another teacher who has never been in any way considerate of me. It is simply that the Head finds giving her what she wants more important than giving me what I want.

RS, are you in a union? Large scotch on the way for you....and for Mary

Racing - Before you down that large scotch, read this. Amongst other things, it says that

A change in the number of hours you work can have a large impact on your work-life balance. Sometimes, the operational needs of the company you work for may make it necessary to change the number of hours that your work. Whether you work full time or part time however, any changes your employer wants to make to your employment contract must be agreed with you. [emphasis added]

It is possible, if you are a part-time worker and your employer insists that you work full time it could constitute indirect sex discrimination.

I am so sorry that you are in this situation. Are you a member of the NUT or any other union? If not, join now and seek their help. Or contact the CAB for advice, both on the change to your contract and the (in my view) bullying and coercion. If you go over to employment issues there is a marvellous MNer called flowerybeanbag who is much more up-to-date on employment law than I am - people often post threads called something like "please flowerybeanbag come and advise me".

((Hugs)) to you and Mary.

Thank you MadBad. My Head says that the number of hours I work cannot be changed without good reason and/or my consent, but she can distribute those hours as she sees fit. However awkward that may be for me. The words 'constructive dismissal' leap to mind (I think - isn't when they make it so unpleasant for you that you voluntarily leave?)

To all you full time workers, you will probably think it is a very silly fuss to make anyway. For me it is important because the most precious times I have is days I have with Wriggle, out with friends. If I only get a couple of hours in the morning with her and a couple in the early evening, we will never be able to do things like that again .... ... I've had enough trouble coming to terms with her going to nursery two mornings a week.

Anyway ...

RS, it's not a silly fuss!!! Of course the most precious time you have is with Wriggle. I only work Tues, Thurs and in the mornings on Saturdays, and although I really cannot afford to turn down patients who want to come in outside of those times, I usually do, and when I don't, I resent the time it takes away from Jackbaby.

RS, it could be a constructive dismissal claim, yes. Depends on what it says in your contract - so do check the wording carefully. If it says they can change anything any time and you signed it, that could be a problem. If it doesn't, they can't make you.

Although, unless you have in your contract how your hours are to be worked, the head is technically right, I do think that it would be found to be unreasonable to change someones hours that had previously been two half days (for instance) to 2 hours in the middle of the day, every day. Your union would be able to give you good advice and support in this - often people think they can bully you and you will just roll over and comply quietly, but back off when you don't.

RS- I'm guessing they want you do do fternon school instead of mornings? Thats a bugger and rather tricky with nursery as the hours tend not to be quite right so teachers end up playing for all day childcare to work 2 hours. Are there any other schools in your area who might want your skills on a more reasonable basis? do you cover PPA time? best wishes for an amicable solution.

vegemite? eh, does he like the stuff or is he good at eating his greens?

Boy and I took our first tandem trip today, we went the scenic route to preschool (about 1 mile) found a few minor snags to fix, but he enjoyed it muchly. we got a LOT of comments, just wait till he has a bell.

What about those little round cheeses in red wax? Baby Bel, are they? I'm rather partial to those at times. And we need a nice salty feta and very herby garlicky something.

Thank you for all messages of support and glad I am not being unreasonable about not wanting to work two hours in the middle of every day (with another two hours a day travelling time by the time I have packed things into the car etc). Spent the evening with friends and a takeaway curry - quite an undertaking when you live out in darkest Dorset. Celebrated immenent possible unemployment by spending £23 on supper.

Love the name Vegemite!!

arrhh, mini baby bels. I presume that somewhere in teh world one can buy full size baby bels, how big are they I wonder?
tuck in ladies

Did someone mention a hunk of something?

Yes, where IS Mellors? Haven't seen him for a couple of days, though there have been some alarming noises coming from the Armoury

RS an and for you - outrageous behaviour and I would consider leaving under those circs, and then go for constructive dismissal if, as Amber says, your contract permits.

I am sure I had a full size babybel some years ago - they were about 3" in diameter iirc, but haven't seen any for years (although I admit to not having really looked)

The cheese I most miss here is Boursin - haven't sourced it yet and nothing else quite hits the garlic level of Boursin... must keep searching for it. Decent mozzarella is a bugger as well - we can buy mini ones, called Boccocini, but they're rarely proper fresh!

Mary, hope things have settled down for you?

Racing I hope you have got some good advice from the employment guru. You said your colleague was a pain and had made your life miserable, I am sure the headmistress is bowing to her and pushing her problems onto you

This is not nice and not acceptable but my first advice would not be to resign and seek constructive dismissal- you need to try and talk to the head and see if there is a way round.

You don't have to say yes straight away, there may well be ways through this

Do you have a union rep? Would you like me to come with you to meet the Head? Just to discuss things and see if there are ways round it?

It is not a happy situation poor you

Catita I am so sorry about your Mum - I didn't realise she had been so ill at the time of Kittenito's birth and it is so awful it is happening again for Gatita's arrival - I am sorry for you as well as her. ... I am not very good at praying but will send a missive up to the great spirit on all your behalfs

Mary I am so sorry about your job

oh what a gloomy post - big loving hugs and coffee and cake to you all...

Hello all,
RS Much sympathy and support for your employment issue. I would just like to echo everyone in saying that you are most definitely not being unreasonable in objecting to such a change. It would seem to be making a mockery of a part-time contract and is certainly not in your best interests, neither emotionally or financially, by the sounds of it. Your head comes across as thinking that she can walk all over you (I'm remembering the OFSTED visit here). I really think she might be forced to reconsider if you were able to enlist the help of your union rep. Don't throw in the towel quite yet.

Mary Also much sympathy for your situation, whatever it may be. I hope you are able to come to terms with whatever that has happpened that has made you angry.

Finally, thanks all for the good wishes and sympathy too. It was nice just to have a bit of a moan, tbh. I'm currently trying to keep persepective and not let my blood sugar run riot (which did happen last time and contributed to need for the emergency c-section). I would really like Gatita to make it past the 38 week mark....

Good evening ladies.

I've been pondering a lot about Racing's situation as I have had some similar-ish experiences in the past. Mucho excellent advice already. I tend to agree with Daisy - don't think of resigning yet but do start keeping your own record of conversations and incidents and do (if you can) take a union rep or other McKenzie friend with you to any further meetings. I think the benefit of showing that you are not a person to be trifled with outweighs any risk that it will just provoke the Head to be even more of a bully. The other area you need to explore with the union or legal adviser, methinks, is whether the terms of the contract are fair and reasonable. Just because it's in your contract doesn't necessarily mean that it isn't unfair or discriminatory. Hence my view that Messrs Sue, Grabbit and Runne should be consulted, whether via the union or independently.

Mary - Would another scotch help?

It's Saturday night so we have Bolly, a rather fine single malt, a chilled sauvignon and limitless twiglets. And anything else you might want.

I'm on teh Vino already thanks. rather nice bottle of cab sav, want some? Had Fab roast beef tonight, from a a local cow. I could probadly find out its name if I tried. Now I just need to make the leftovers into at least 2 more meals for 3 to make it worth buying spendy organic local etc meat.

Tandem is up and working and we have done some miles today. About 7 mile round trip to next but one village to try a little gentle geo cashe ing.

so what are you groovy ladies up to this saturday night? is there owt on telly?

Is there owt on telly, she says? Is there owt on telly?

I can only utter three words. Strictly. Come. Dancing.

oh. is that why no ones in here. apart maybe for a sleeping amber under the horse blanket on teh sofa . I think shes been exercising lady grey again. still got teh jodphurs on.

I'm mooching about MN getting stroppy with parents who won't let their PFB play out in garden unsupervised at a ripe old age. Maybe Dh and I are just too liberal for todays climate of fear.

Well, SCD just finished.

Where are these stroppy threads ? I was stunned by the argument on that changing rooms thread that one shouldn't send a child alone into a changing room because they might wander back into the pool and drown. What? Has that ever happened? I would have thought that that depended on so many unlikely things that it was about as plausible as saying that they might be struck by a meteorite.

take a look at threads unis is on from my profile , should find it. think it was in parenting. I have been ranting slightly on some cycling onpavement threads too. Havn;t yet got any relevent input to teh swimming changing rooms one. DS being being too young to dress himself. he can whip his clothes off when he want to , but they would just get left in puddle and he would run about starkers. We're still working on self dressing skills. are at teh stage where he will do it if talked through it step by step.

I don;t miss having a TV, just I forget that that is what most people with kids spend their weekend evenings doing and then wonder why its so quiet in here.