The One and Only Tea Room: Tea, muffins and champagne served at all hours

[BoccaDellaNativita]

Well folks, here we are!

We were on the brink of filling the old thread so I thought we'd better start a new one now. There was a rumour that we were going to be evicted from our old premises, but we managed right at the last minute to get an extension on the lease. So it's business as usual. We're still in our charming old tea room, overlooking our beautiful garden complete with ha-ha and duck pond. And Mellors the gardener.

Please come and join us for a celebratory drink.

Lo all, bloody hell there a horse over there! who let that in? tis quite a pretty horse, but still its got big teeth and bigger feet. So long as some one else looks after it.... maybe I'll have a go one day.

I'm more of a bikes person than a horse person.
Sorry for my abrupt departure last night, the modem seemed to be having a hissy fit.

Bloody nappies - eerugh. rather you than me.

Today I met the baby son of another freelancer I work with, he looked just like his dad but rounder. We were quite the parents dept today, all 3 of us have one kid. used to be I worked with no parents at all.
Boy is hacked off with me tonight for going to work, refused to kiss me good night and wiped my kiss off his forehead. bless his nearly 3 yr old socks He not over keen on Going to nursery, seems to have a good time once hes there tho.

Righto- twine over. chocolate any body.

Uni - do you mean cycle bikes, or bike bikes ? Before DS, I had a bike, but had to sell it as couldn't justify it

DS sometimes complains that he doesn't want to go to nursery. Then we get there and swans off without a backwards glance

How about some of my famed chocolate brownies with sour cherries ? Whipped cream is optional

cycle bikes, number of wheels variable. Garage currently has something like 21 wheels in it. some of those are on my sons trailer, hubby has 2 bikes , I have 1. Collectively we have about a dozen unicycles.

WHAT is a fasinator BTW? I'm imagining a twee little hat held on by hat pins and hope, maybe with a lil net veil bit as well. Am I close?

A fascinator is one of those things that is all feather/flower/quill/net, and not much actual hat. Usually sort of clamped to the side of ones head by hatpins and hope as you put it.

DS was in fits watching children practicing the unicycle last week. I can't get to grips with the thought of how to ride one though

cmot - What kind of bike did you have? Have always fancied myself as a biker chick but do not (alas) have the legs for leathers and () am too timid to go on the back of SignorBocca's mighty Honda. I think I would probably be braver if I had a bike of my own - it's the complete dependency on the driver which worries me!

UniS - Welcome again. Your description of a fascinator is uncannily accurate! The fascinator is the unofficial uniform of the tea room because of a running gag that mothers of one have so much time on their hands that they can waft about wearing fascinators. Personally, I prefer hats and berets, but we're all free to choose!

Right. I can offer champagne, gin and (optional) tonic or the contents of BabyBocca's selection box. Any takers?

Ooops, pressed post before I asked UniS about unicycles. Are they easy to master? I was very impressed when we went to an open garden last year and the children of the house were zooming around on unicycles. At what age can a child learn to unicycle, do you think?

I had a 600cc Yamaha Fazer. I could never bring myself to pillion as it's a big trust thing. I loved riding, and will def get back to it. I just wished I could do what I saw another woman do, which was ride her Fireblade up to the biker caff, take off her helmet, and swish her hair out to the collective stare of massed males. Even though I don't cut too bad a figure in the leathers, my hair is recalcitrant, and requires prising out of the helmet. This (and the thermals) spoils the picture somewhat

Champagne and the selection box please !

I slipped up at the weekend, by removing a bottle of white from the booze fridge to drink with friend whilst watching Hairspray. When the males finished their game, DH informed me that we had been necking his best bottle of white that he was saving....

Oh yes, definitely, to the hair-swishing on getting off the bike!

Was Cmotspouse very cross about the wine? And do I deduce that you have a fridge just for booze?

I have here a Crunchie, a Dairy Milk bar and Dairy Milk Caramel bar and some Buttons. It's not the gourmet stuff which we usually have in the cafe (although I am more of a Cadbury's girl myself) but I'm happy to share.

It wasn't too bad, just a bit annoyed that we'd gone from the pink fizz to the expensive Chablis. Not nearly as bad as when his parent babysat, had refused offers of wine, and we came back to find they had drunk a v v expensive of red, and hadn't even decanted it, so it was full of sediment.

Yes, a drinks only fridge . It came with the house and lives in the garage which is integral to the house. It does contain a lot of Diet coke, tonic etc as it's easier to keep them all in it. We don't drink on our own, but as we have a housefull of overnight guests on a regular basis we like to keep a well stocked fridge.

Hmm. The Crunchie I think if thats OK

selection box please, ohh fredo frog, great.
I tried a motor bike once, at age 16 or 17. I wanted one see, and dad being an ex biker was not totally anti but insisted I try one out at a driving centre. It was terrifing.

< sits back and settles in> unicycles... now we 're getting on to my specialist subject. How old, depend on the child, a few learn before they are 5, more will learn between 6- 10. 9-15s seem to "get it" pretty fast, over 20s have the fear factor and it takes a while to master.

Sorry I seem to have hogged teh chocolate, any one want the curly wurlie?

Curly Wurly, eh?

I am (ever so slightly) too young to remember where I was when Kennedy was shot, but I have very clear memories of the introduction of the Curly Wurly. The advert featured Terry Scott dressed as a school boy and .... OK, I'll shut up now.

UniS - please share more of your knowledge of the unicycle. Is that where your nickname comes from? BabyBocca is 7 and they look like such good fun that I'd be very tempted to buy her one (as long as it didn't prove to be another nine day wonder).

Tea room ladies - Please come and contribute to my chat thread on national treasures.

Is anyone going to have those Buttons? I could do with the sugar and chocolately goodness. DD was sick in the night - I actually thought of you lot as I was stripping the sicky bed, I thought 'yup, I belong there, I am so cut out for having NO MORE PUKEY CHILDREN'. She's fine today, still had to have a day off school, DH convinced himself it was his turn to take the day off, I don't think it was though.

Would you like some champagne with those?

Oh, go on then.

What made you suddenly consider Nation Treasures, Bocca?

DCMB has made a wise choice. melted then solidified buttons turn into one BIG button.
Having scoffed my last throntons I'm off for the night. Dh is talking about " maybe" doing an Audax bike ride "sometime" oh dear, hes getting ideas again.

What is am Audex bike ride?

I've just googled Audax bikes. Very smart. Bike talk (either sort) mostly goes over my head but we'll soon be buying BabyBocca a bike for the first time. (She's had hand-me-downs until now). That feels like a significant moment.

I've been thinking about national treasures because I quite often do when (for example) reading anything by Alan Bennett, as just about everyone agrees he is one. And my guilty pleasure over the last couple of evenings has been chuckling over the chat thread on women who are so irritating that they should be thrown on the bonfire of the inanities. However, I do have qualms about condemning anyone to the pyre - even if it is only virtual - and so the national treasure thread is an attempt at some sort of karmic balance.

Your suggestions have been fantastic, racingsnake. I can't get the image of Patrick Moore and his xylophone out of my head now.

Just popping over to see how it's getting on ....

Oh no, the Dry Cleaning Emporium is nothing to do with me. I was just trying to imagine the likely consequences of storing chocolate buttons in one's cleavage. But perhaps I was over-projecting?

Well, I felt a bit Voltairish and ambivalent about the bonfire too - and I can see that the argument that 'well, it's obviously a joke, isn't it?' can be problematic - which is why I proposed only to burn Julie Myerson's books. But even book burning is a tad dubious, I fear. (A long time ago, a friend's equivalent to the virtual bonfire was 'who, if you saw them on the tube, would you feel obliged to hit with your rolled-up newspaper?' Andrew Lloyd Webber was, I recall, one of the answers. I suppose even that might be criticised as an incitement to violence.)

The national treasures thread has been very jolly, as it has reminded me of all sorts of people who really have been an adornment to the life of the nation - and many of whom still are. Please keep your suggestions coming.

Am loathe to burn any book. In fact it makes me feel quite queasy, just thinking about it.

Dh proposed the 'people you would like to go up to and blow a big raspberry in the face of' as an alternative. I rather like this. I have to say that ALW wouldn't be on my list, but Elaine Paige could take his 'musical theatre' place anyday

DCMB reminded me of a friend (well blessed in the norkage department) who once, when asked for a light, rummaged around in her bra and produced two packets of cigarettes, a lighter, and a packet of polos

Yes, 'people you would like to go up to and blow a big raspberry in the face of' sums it up perfectly. It would make a good thread

I am very conscious of the political meaning of book burning and, at that level, very much against it. But there are some books which are such a monumental waste of paper (and time spent reading them) that burning - or preferably, for all sorts of reasons, composting - seems justifiable.

Anyone for coffee or other hot drinks?

I know, but am such a print addict, that absolutely anything will do in an emergency (ie, stranded without reading material) - so I can't see my way to destroying books. Oh, apart from maybe having to compost some of the truly dreadful books DS has been given

I am currently reading Resistance (apologies for lack of accents there) by Agnes Humbert who was a French political prisoner who was in a forced labour camp. Very moving

Can I have a latte please ? And what flavour are the muffins