Would anyone like a cup of tea and a muffin?

[MadBadandDangerousToKnow]

I'm tired and in need of refreshment.

The tea room is now officially open, serving hot chocolate, tea, freshly-squeezed orange juice and a range of home-baked muffins. Tablecloths and crockery are charmingly mismatched antiques (no Cath Kidston here). We overlook an attractive although somewhat overgrown garden, with a distant view of rolling countryside.

Everyone is welcome but house rules dictate that anyone indulging in fisticuffs will be ejected.

Please come in.

Come on in Imaginary Friend come on in!!

I', a bit and intimidated at all the craftiness going on.

Any tea left in the pot (no making it in the mug with a tea bag in this tea room, thank you very much!)?

Yes, it's quite exciting that we will soson need a new thread. I think that will be A Good Thing, as not only will we be able to move to shiny new premises - although I think we should be looking for somewhere with (ahem) the character and period features of this one - we may attract new customers. It's lovely in here but I do worry that potential new customers may take a look at our 38 pages and take fright.

Poinsettia has just given me the idea that we could lay a trail of muffin crumbs sbetween the old and new tea rooms - as long as racingpig doesn't eat them first, they should help customers old and new find their way.

I will check out the Howl's Moving Castle book (of which I've never heard. Oh, the shame). Baby Bocca is rather precocious in her reading tastes so an interesting book in her Santa sack would be very a propos. Thanks for the recommendation.

Any tea left in the pot (no making it in the mug with a tea bag in this tea room, thank you very much!)?

Yes, it's quite exciting that we will soson need a new thread. I think that will be A Good Thing, as not only will we be able to move to shiny new premises - although I think we should be looking for somewhere with (ahem) the character and period features of this one - we may attract new customers. It's lovely in here but I do worry that potential new customers may take a look at our 38 pages and take fright.

Poinsettia has just given me the idea that we could lay a trail of muffin crumbs sbetween the old and new tea rooms - as long as racingpig doesn't eat them first, they should help customers old and new find their way.

I will check out the Howl's Moving Castle book (of which I've never heard. Oh, the shame). Baby Bocca is rather precocious in her reading tastes so an interesting book in her Santa sack would be very a propos. Thanks for the recommendation.

...

Oh Bocca, while a nice new shiny thread is always a Good Thing don't change too much, purrlease?

It's taken so much time to gather our homely tat craft items together?

why blushing Bocca? Two threads are better than one, ask any competent knitter

Can we not get a new 'open sign' for the front door and keep the cafe as it is? We could always do links back for anyone that really wanted to know some of the background (I did catch up on several hundred posts when I joined, but I think over 600 I might not have bothered )

I've been looking out of the window at waxwings - small flock probably 40 -50 and they've been in the gree that's about 5m from my window, so really good view. Plenty of mistle thrushes about too

I'll share a pot of tea with you Bocca

I certainly don't envisage major changes but once we hit 1000 posts we'll have to move. Which is a cause to celebrate, really, as the tea room could so easily have gone bust on its first day. I did briefly wonder whether we should move to a modernist techno cafe designed by Philippe Starck - lots of chrome, whitewashed walls and minimalist decor, mugs with artistic handles which you can't actually get your fingers through - but then I thought nahhh. We'll just hang up a sign saying 'tea and muffins still available in the tea room' or something to that effect.

Any tea left in the pot ?

On my way back from collecting my ironing (small mountain had accumulated in the absence of cleaner, but she is now doing it if we drop off and pick up. Thus we will have everything ironed to try and give her some income coming up to Christmas as her husband is too unwell to be left ) I saw a buzzard with something small and furry in its claws. I feared for racingpig, but see that he is still happily nesting. I have brought some shiny wool with me to make his nest more decorative.

I am feeling old today - I just can't do long days as I once could, and the heels I had on yesterday managed to do something to my hip.

I have no craft project, unless you count reconstructing the rocking chairs covers after I washed them. That explained why they weren't even labelled as dry clean only as they unravelled at the seams and needed serious darning and reinforcement.

There'll be some fresh tea in just a few minutes.

I ditched all my high heels years ago but have just decided that very flat shoes aren't helping my creaky (arthritic?) feet either, so have resolved to replenish my shoe supply with low heels.

I hate it when things disintegrate in the wash. I celebrated Baby Bocca's first day at school by taking down the muslin curtains at the windows to wash them, whereupon they fell to bits and so I spent her second day at school making new ones.

Which reminds me to ask for interior design advice (I can't drag myself out of this wing chair to go and ask in Good Housekeeping). We have a very small front garden and need something at the windows to stop all and sundry seeing in (this is standard police advice around here, where burglary is an Issue). I'm bored of muslins (old hat) and don't like window film (too industrial and out of keeping with our junk shop interesting and quirky furniture). What else can I do? Wooden venetian blinds - are these old hat now? Colonial shutters - likewise, are these vieux chapeau? What (if anything) adorns your windows?

My windows have very boring horizontal blinds.
(boring window emoticon)

I am feeling today. I have a friend whom I really like, she has a baby who's 3 1/2 weeks younger than Jackbaby, and I love hanging out with her, she's fun and tells it how it is and the babies get along great. But. She's very unreliable. We make dates to get together and she frequently cancels at the last minute. Usually for good reasons. Such as today, she and DD have colds. How could I be at that? But it happens so often. I feel like I'm the one pursuing the friendship more than she is. And I think, well more, I know, if I said something, all she'd say is that she doesn't cancel for the fun of it and that she has good reasons and she'd probably get upset with me. Perhaps justifiably so. I just feel that the friendship is more important to me than it is to her, probably because it sounds like she's got heaps of friends and I'm feeling a bit lonely atm.
Sorry to rant.
It's just been a tough year, dealing with everything that happened when Jackbaby was born and my horrible PND after, and now needing more surgery, and a huge blow-out with another friend that ended the friendship because she'd had a tragedy and thought I should just get over my PND... okay, I'm rambling, will stop now. Anyway, I had plans with Lynette today and she cancelled because they're unwell, and of course that's understandable but I'm feeling so disappointed and lonely.
It's too early for booze, can I have a vanilla latte? It looks like a vanilla kind of day.
And what is this about shutting down the thread when we reach 1000? Why?

Well, I have vertical blinds, which we keep at 45' in the day. Not hugely exciting, but do both jobs very well, and were a lot cheaper than all the other options for a big bay window.

Some of the Georgian houses in town have wooden internal shutters that go half way up the window that I think are very attractive, if you have the right kind of house.

Not keen on venetian blinds myself as they are dust traps.

What about voile Roman blinds ? A bit more interesting than muslins

Alas these were mid height heels - I do wear high heels, but not when toting a bag full of laptop and brochures around all day. I had a number of years with arthritis which robbed me of my best high heel years, so am still making up for it in some ways. No idea what I did.

Thanks for the decor ideas.

Jacksmama - sorry you've had a tough day (at the end of a tough year). I think it's a sad fact of life that some friendships can become very unbalanced, with all the support and empathy flowing in one direction. Are you into transactional analysis? A friend of mine is a career coach and personal development trainer and I've gained a lot from talking to her about this. I now try very hard (not always successfully, but I'm learning) to keep all my friendships on an adult-adult footing and not get stuck in the parenting role. Having said that, I've also distanced myself from people when I could no longer cope with their constant neediness and lack of support when I needed some in return.

Oh dear. That makes me sound very hard.

Hello Peops

Meant to say, re presents, I spent some happy years giving all and sundry membership to the Wine Society - about £40 a go so a nice but not too big present that all have loved... not big on giving plants, but they sound wonderful

Am worried that waxwings would melt if they came down the chimney, Icarus style....don't mind me....

Right, pass the champers and let's settle down for a chat...

Bocca transactional analysis sounds very serious. I spent many years dealing with crap friends. Then I finally realised, like a dawning of huge light, that true friends are the ones that make me feel good and happy and loved and that seems to keep things ok now...

Basically I "distanced" myself from some and told one woman that I never wanted to speak to her again = still can't believe I managed it

I try to remember that I am nice and deserving of friends and friendship. For me that means people who turn up when they say they will and remember to ask me about my life and Daisyboy (i realise a nice friend is different things for different folks)

I have a few "left overs" that I remain friends with for historic reasons and a few people like you say JM that I try harder with than they do, but frankly I limit it, cos otherwise it makes me feel needy and not worth loving when actually it's their problems....

does that sound a bit much? too long a post I fear but I think these thinds are really important. JM I don't know all your back story but PND and physical problems will make you feel low and at an ebb which means you will be more vulnerable to non giving friends than the day after you win the big jackpot, iyswim?

Anyway, if you have died of boredom by now.... just (((((HUGS))))) you are good at giving them here's one back!

Not hard, just realistic. I should be, too. I know she's like this.
Sigh.
Hand over some of that champers!!!

Refusing to be gotten down by unreliable friends, Jackbaby and I are going to the shopping mall with our friends Lily and Brienne to have pictures taken with Father Christmas this afternoon. Jackbaby is in his most adorable football jumper.

And (to further lighten the mood) did I tell you all about my "oh shit, wrong thread!!" moment yesterday?

BTW, christmasteafortwo, yes, thank you, I will take credit for your Christmas name, but, sweetie, I have to take issue with your time line - I suggested it end of November, not June. I didn't know all you wonderful ladies yet in June!!
(wish I had emoticon)

oh, Bocca, window decoration? we have none. Have the sticky stuff for our bathroom

looked at wooden blinds, all fiendishly pricey that we could find

have silky roman blind for the night

lots of people put Large Plants on the windowsill as external cover so to speak?

good for you going out and about - you might have to post Jackbaby photos with Santa - watch out in case it's Mellors in disguise

what was your "wrong post" moment? ...curious...

(Why are they forbidden?) for JacksMamma. It's funny how often friendships are unbalanced. I have one friend - I've just realised since reading your post - who has known me for nearly two years, during which time I have looked after her dd, done loads of things together, ridden to the rescue after various crises and she doesn't even know what my dh does for a living! They do meet! And she says things like 'I am so glad I'm having another baby; I'd hate dd to be only.' or 'I'd hate to have a baby when I was 40!'. There must be prizes for total insensitivity. The thing is, she means well. (I think)

I love the idea of wooden shutters for Bocca Mansions. What about plants? Would cut out light, but there is a lovely cafe in a nearby town where the window is completely obscured by huge begonia which flowers. Or shelves across with hyacinths, geraniums, paperwhite narcissi etc according to season.

flowers etc depends on what you want to achieve...
I think flowers and even bushes are less light cutting than muslins and curtains... and the light is sort of more natural...

I have a smallish tray of flowers but I am a bit pants at watering and nuturing....my fingers are not too green....

Remember that hugs are not forbidden in the tearoom!! (Or on threads like Worzselmummy's...)

So, my wrong thread moment: here it is.

I had somehow stumbled upon a discussion on mispronunciations in the Pedants' Corner (which I can't find now but it's not important anyway) and accidentally misposted in the above thread... I must say they were very nice about it!

(feeling stupid emoticon)

Poinsettia - First of all, give me back my Mr Clooney.

As I was saying , the transactional analysis isn't that serious, although the title's a bit offputting, I grant you. Basically, it categorises interactions or relationships as adult-adult or parent-child (we're talking style here, not chronological age). Friendships which make you feel valued and loved are probably those which are adult-adult, whereas friends who are constantly needy yet neglectful of your needs are probably in child mode and therefore pushing you into a parent mode, which may not be what you want at all. I've occasionally given up on a friendship when I realised that it was never going to change; that still feels like a dreadful thing to do, but, really, what is the point of a friendship which makes you feel bad?

Well, enough of the armchair philosophy. Ages ago I said I was going to write Bocca's Complete Guide to Baby and Child Care. Maybe I will write a supplement on the meaning of friendship and how, as the mother of one, to keep one's relationships in tip top form!

Jacksmama - The thing about the new thread is that no thread can accommodate more than 1000 posts, so when we reach that, we'll have to start a new one.

Tonight I wish to introduce a new cocktail to the list.

The poinsettia - champagne, cointreau and cranberry. Who'd like to try it? And, although I usually put dance music on the tea room juke box, I think we should relax on the sofa and listen to this.