Would anyone like a cup of tea and a muffin?

[MadBadandDangerousToKnow]

I'm tired and in need of refreshment.

The tea room is now officially open, serving hot chocolate, tea, freshly-squeezed orange juice and a range of home-baked muffins. Tablecloths and crockery are charmingly mismatched antiques (no Cath Kidston here). We overlook an attractive although somewhat overgrown garden, with a distant view of rolling countryside.

Everyone is welcome but house rules dictate that anyone indulging in fisticuffs will be ejected.

Please come in.

Bag.

Ooohh, now everyone is speculating about my age. As dear, dear Oscar said, the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about, so I shall leave you in suspense for a little longer.

I earn my living (such as it is) in academic research.

Now who's for tea?

Dear Bocca unless you shift your ample and aged buttock that poor Wigglesnake Guinea is going to be for tea.... she's nesting in that there sofa

Hi, everyone!

Sorry, cmot, I think the mess behind the aspidistra is actually the Racing household, or least me, Wrigglingsnake and Racingpig. Went to a toddler group this morning and WS was by far the grubbiest toddler. Toothpaste and chocolate biscuit from top to toe .

That was after my caffeine mishap this morning, from which I am just recovering.

On awakening after an angst-filled night (of which more later) I took a handful couple of pain killers for poor toothless gaps, not noticing that they were extra strong with caffeine.

Have spent the whole morning in a whirlwind Road Runner impersonation, whisking around the Racing menagerie in a blur of movement, acheiving little and uttering the occasional frenetic 'meep meep'.

I don't normally do caffeine - even a cup of tea sends into over excitement. Beginning to wind down now, but feel my eyes may never close again.

Oh Bocca - I make my living in academic ADMINISTRATION - I think that means we can no longer talk to each other.

Shame, I really liked it here (sniff)...

Hi Racing, blimey, I would not be able to do without much caffeine can I have your pills

Me too, me too, RS, unless there's codeine in them.... severely allergic. so, triple latte for me please!!

Can I have a refill? Been rather pushed for time today, so, apart from whistfully glancing through the window, now is my first oportunity of visiting for the day.

Planning doesn't seem to have quietened down, although the type of planning applications etc that we're dealing with has changed in nature.

Jacksmama you can get some little suction things to use - we never had a problem so didn't get one...

Baby thrush had one week of 'how to climb up and down the stairs safely' when he started climbing, although we did have a top and bottom stair gate just in case.

We found that sweetcorn (and sometimes peas) had the same properties that you say paper has...

Racingsnake - DS's breakfast of choice is chocolate chip brioche. Therefore he, and the sofa, are often covered in a tasty layer of chocolate. And I bought him a chocolate glazed doughnut yesterday. He wanted DH to suck his hands clean after that though.....

Children are meant to be grubby anyway. My mum used to insert us into these bright orange playsuits and chuck us in the garden, after which we were hosed down

I was virtually caffeine free when pg and breastfeeding (so nearly 3 years), but have fallen back to my old ways now

We can add jam, crumbs, yoghurt and a smoothie smile to the tea room junior department - and, of course, a good smattering of toothpaste and mud...

Jacksmama - can't find your post in breast feeding as not very good at finding my way around outside the tea room. What's the problem? I too have a revolting sucky thing for sucking snot out of noses but have never used it, so must have solved the problem in a different (less yucky) way.

Cmot, thanks for being nice to Racingpig, he's having a traumatic time. Two baby pigeons have entered the Racing household (racingpigeons, obviously) and WS has completely transferred her affections. I try to tell him that it will all be over by tomorrow, but love is fickle ...

Not sure about the causes of paper eating, but just this moment, while my attention was with you, WS has chewed a corner off the cover of her DVD, Saturnin, the duck who trained as a fireman.

The best nappies are always from beetroot - last week we had one which I was tempted to frame as a Gaugin-style sunset.

That might fit in rather well with MadBad's early vision of the tearoom as an artistic outlet.

Mmmmm, yes MadBad had hoped that the tea room would double as a gallery and as an outlet for general bunting-cupcakery. We had some cashmere teddies made from recycled jumpers, but they sold out on the first day and we haven't had much craft for sale since then.

But will all due respect to wrigglingsnake's artistic creations, I can't help but feel that making art work from bodily waste products is just so over, darling - think of Tracey Emin and Chris Ofili - and so we must look for the Next Big Thing. Perhaps racingguineapig might be tempted out of the sofa (I fear there isn't much horsehair left now) and might essay a few daubs in brightly-coloured gouache?

Does anyone fancy a trip to A&E with me?

I knew I should have kept those 'printing' projects whcih I did at school when I got my pet hen (Marble) to walk round a piece of paper in two different colours...

Pet hen? Does that mean we can open a second tea shop next door to chicken keepers?

And please whisper about the pill-popping or people will get the wrong idea about the tea room. It's not so long since it was described as a speakeasy!

Don't worry - not codeine, but caffeine. The worst Mistlethrush will be is a bit over excited.

yes, although actually it was plural -and both sexes (had pet cockerells too!). The tamest used to come and find me if I was in the garden and demand to be picked up so that she could have a quick nap somewhere safe. She also brought her chicks to me to look after and settled down on my lap to have an undisturbed nap!

I'm not going to introduce the MT chinchillas to the teashop though - although Racingpig seems to be fairly well-behaved staying mainly on the sofa, we know that MTchins like living in the sofa - we had to pick the whole sofa up and shake it (before it was reupholstered - chins haven't been allowed near it since!)

too much caffine!!!!

But there's still the problem of mistlethrush's paracetomol allergy.

Good job I'm trained in CPR.

Oh mistlethrush! You're back with us again, hooray!

Must be the restorative powers of the kiss of life from Mellors!

I do enjoy gardening

T42 walks in carrying a watermelon!

[wide eyed emotion] at the very risque dancing and adult theme of the tea room!!!

T42 tries to join in but looks a bit daft!!!

I can't vouch for what's going on behind the aspidistra, but the rest of us are Women Behaving Extremely Well (Even If Our Dancing Is A Bit Dodgy).

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