Would anyone like a cup of tea and a muffin?

[MadBadandDangerousToKnow]

I'm tired and in need of refreshment.

The tea room is now officially open, serving hot chocolate, tea, freshly-squeezed orange juice and a range of home-baked muffins. Tablecloths and crockery are charmingly mismatched antiques (no Cath Kidston here). We overlook an attractive although somewhat overgrown garden, with a distant view of rolling countryside.

Everyone is welcome but house rules dictate that anyone indulging in fisticuffs will be ejected.

Please come in.

Ahm Mistlethrush, that soft spot is me

I didn't deal with Toy Buying in my solving all problems slot last night did I?

I think books - depending on age Axel Shleffer/ Julia Donaldson and Roald Dahl are pretty unbeatable. I buy job lots from the Red House and dole them out

Orchard toy games and puzzles are also reet good and pretty cheap.

And there is never enough lego in a house is there? I go classic rather than "type" although a few Indiana Jones sets slipped in last year!

And I never spend more than £5

As to party etiquette - I have to say since having DS I find it much easier because you can always say "Oh, must go and help/ hinder DS over there" and DO SOMETHING rather than lurk billy no mates at the back

One tip, Cnut, leave that pointy scarf behind. The others just won't understand!

Daisy grabs another latte

Sorry Daisy, I didn't see you there. I was wondering about the crumbs though - now I know.

I always think that £5 or slightly more is about right - but seem to have got to a group where more like £10 is the norm. Just having to be a bit clever with purchasing so that I spend less than it looks as though I've spent... Will go searching in Jan sales for lots of presents suitable for 4yo boys as the norm seems to be to invite the whole class... Luckily only 16 compared to other form of 24, but even so, quite a number of parties to go to.

Parent's evening tonight so need to get prepared to be told that I have the most disruptive child in the class... although I think that he has calmed down a bit since the first 2 weeks of school. I think I might need something stronger than tea later on though...

Oh MT (is that your preferred diminutive?)
I would go for £5, don't be bolderised into spending more

yeah to sales and multi buy deals and the internet
if they say your DS is the most disruptive that means he is interested and interesting and probably needs them to work a bit harder to keep him amused

see - anything do to with DC can be turned into a positive! Perhaps it means he will be a wonderful non-conformist who when told to do something (like copy letters) asks "WHY" and so will one day invent something magical because he bothered to ask why and not just blindly do what he was told

good luck. You will find bolly and dancing later (with a bit of luck)
thanks for saving the asipdestra, I think it offsets the elephants ears well

Ladies, today's soup is homemade tomato (I've been feeling guilty ever since we had to resort to tinned last week) - who would like some?

Mistle - you're in the right place (I hope)! The tea room was opened as a safe haven from shouting and flouncing. I'm sorry to hear of your ttc difficulties. Some of us here have been in a roughly similar place and others have made a conscious decision to stop at one but, either way, we're all determined (in the immortal words of my pin-up Mr Bing Crosby) to accentuate the positive and enjoy the experience of being a parent to an only child.

We have had a few handcrafty moments in here so feel free to bring in your knitting. Could I place an order for some lovely cosies for the tea room's charming assortment of vintage tea pots? You might have noticed the lovely antimacassar on the sofa, hand-made by one of our customers, and we have had a needlepoint workshop where daisy was helping us with our (stitching) tension. Jacksmama is great at dealing with the other sort! Which reminds me ... we're holding a Christmas craft fair so we all need to get knitting/stitching/baking/sculpting!

I always think that £5-ish is about right to spend on a small child's present, especially if you have to buy 15 or more in a year. £10 does seem excessive to me - is this a school with mostly affluent (or competitive) parents? I'll be following up some of daisy's shopping tips. In fact, daisy, would you like to be the tea room's shopping correspondent?

Well, must toddle off now for a while. We seem to have got through a lot of champagne last night, so I'll drive via the wine warehouse to restock. Please leave any more money for soup, drinks or cakes in the honesty box.

See you later!

Yes - I agree with comments about ds! Luckily, I think that his teacher is great. She just wants ds to know what the boundaries are and which ones are not negotiable! Problem was that his nursery staff were clearly not able to control him so that he had become used to doing what ever he pleased (he was regularly on time out chair, but sometimes even refused to sit on that!) - and had also got to expect that certain things were 'boring' - like circle time. I think that school circle time is far from boring, but he was playing up before it started so had no chance of discovering that it was really quite interesting.

Ds thinks that boundaries are there to be pushed and is making sure that there is a large enough ds sized space in his environment to grown into.

We already have the 'why' question quite a lot - once I've given different explanations several times I will sometimes ask him to tell me to see if he has listened - he usually has and comes out with some very interesting things at times!

I've bought some silk 'orchid' flowers to push into the aspidistra which I picked up last time I was in one of those unusual shops looking for appropriate presents for people... I think that they'll look quite good with the wall paper, although not sure about the sunflower for the elephant's ears - bit too much perhaps?

DS is only 2.6 and we constantly get Why. It is rather trying at times, but he is assimilating the knowledge. We sometimes over explain just because it is the answer - who knows whether it is the right thing to do.

DS likes to push boundaries, but as we are both the same, we knew this would happen. Have you read 'Parenting the Spirited child ' ? It has some great ideas.

I'm a bit 50:50 on choosing to be a parent of an only - I never imagined myself as a parent of many and only intended to have one, but after three miscarriages we knew that we'd never try again.

Well,

Parenting spirited child sounds interesting cnut - who's it by? I don't often go for books - read Stephen Biddulf on raising boys and it boiled down to "cuddle them, love them, let them express their gentle nature and, at about 14, get them an adult male role model" - all good sense, but I could have told you that....

Anyway, as to questions, my little spark asks a bewildering variety - Why, where, whose, which, whether, what, what next ... so it does break up the boredom!!

When he says (for example) what is Daddy doing, I say, what do you think and then we plan out from there (usually he's playing with lego! Amazing really)If it's a proper question I just tell him until he gets bored and goes...I think garrolousness runs in our family

Sorry Mt about the TTC, I ignored your comment beacause you said you escaped from TTC boards and I thought you might want a rest feel free to share, that's what we're all about here!

Thanks Bocca, fab soup

Its by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. I like that she really understands that some children (and adults) work in very different ways to others, but helps you to understand that you can work with that. It has helped me to understand DH much better too as he has some tricky traits to deal with.

We get where/who/what as well - I have to say where I think cars are going, and after a lot of 'no' DS will proffer his thought. Currently a lot of cars are going to see pumpkins at the zoo.

Thanks for the soup Bocca. Am waiting for DH to return from the shops with chocolate now..

Yes, but if you're parenting a spirited child, when do you get a chance to read it?

Mmm soup's great. I particularly like the swirl of sour cream in the top - makes it look really scrummy, and who cares about the calories!

Can't wait until Ds learns to read himself - will be great - he loves books and stories but after about 10 or so I tend to tire... He's doing quite well with the foam letters in the bath - he can get some words first time, although we still are getting 'd o g' - 'goat' quite a bit! I'm quite pleased that we're now beyond 1/2 term and we still have not come across a phonics letter that he doesn't already know. I think the real problems will come with d and b (and p and q) - just working out which one's which etc. He does have a tendency to do things right to left too. I just hope the dyslexia hasn't rubbed off on him too much (although I do normally have it fairly well under control most of the time)

Cnut - one had 2 post ds - but one pre ds was mp so 9 months unwell and 1 year prohibited from ttc - and any further mc always raises the ghost. I think that's what has really put dh off - the thought of having to be the primary carer for ds as well as looking after me!

Would anyone like to try the seasonal fruity pudding I tried out last night - I've got a couple of pieces left...

thanks MT - sorry, grab sounds a bit rude, thank you for lovely fruity pudding, I must get baking

MT and Cnut sorry about your mc woes - I can only imagine the heartache I underwent such effing trauma TTC DS that I think I really would have died and gone mad if I had had a mc my heart goes out to you

Ds helped me make a good batch of headless animal and gingerbread man biscuits recently. Good for halloween!

Thanks for the fruity pudding, although have just scoffed a number of gf Jaffa Cakes as DH returned from a mega Waitrose shop.

MT - mp is such a bugger, it really is.

Daisy - you're right, in many ways its great to put that all behind you, and fortunatly it was easy to say that for us. I have a friend who was on the IVF treadmill, and couldn't stop herself TTC a second child, even after 7 cycles.

And now for another coffee all round ?

Good morning (on my side of the world)!!
Bocca, sincere apologies for not composting the aspidistra. I'd meant to, but then had to rush off to prevent DS from tipping over the wine rack onto his head, and the poor plant lay forgetten until MT found it. Welcome to the cafe - my favourite relaxing, friendly place in the world! Do feel free to unload about anything... ttc, other woes... I certainly vented about my case of the blues yesterday before Bocca got me tipsy on never-ending streams of champagne... have a mild headache today but feel much better.
Must rush off to pack for DS and myself, we have to leave for the airport in three hours. Going to Toronto to visit my mum for five days - which means the time difference will only be 5 hours instead of 8 (or 6 hours for teafortwo) so I may have a better chance of being there when you lot get into the booze of an afternoon!!

Good morning (on my side of the world)!!
Bocca, sincere apologies for not composting the aspidistra. I'd meant to, but then had to rush off to prevent DS from tipping over the wine rack onto his head, and the poor plant lay forgetten until MT found it. Welcome to the cafe - my favourite relaxing, friendly place in the world! Do feel free to unload about anything... ttc, other woes... I certainly vented about my case of the blues yesterday before Bocca got me tipsy on never-ending streams of champagne... have a mild headache today but feel much better.
Must rush off to pack for DS and myself, we have to leave for the airport in three hours. Going to Toronto to visit my mum for five days - which means the time difference will only be 5 hours instead of 8 (or 6 hours for teafortwo) so I may have a better chance of being there when you lot get into the booze of an afternoon!!

Oops, DS helped me post this twice.

Hello JM do so hope the blues are not so bad today. Have a lovely cup of coffee and look, I saved you the last bit of Fruity Puddign from the inestimable MT

Sorry but we finished the soup, it was the swirly cream that did it

Hi ladies!!!

T42 orders a Turkish Coffee (for the caffine kick) chooses a quiet corner and hides behind a pile of books to prepare for a meeting tomorrow...

Milkfortwo occasionally toddlers over to demand milk, a story or signs of life from her mother!!!!

BLAAAAAAAHHH - Working part-time can be a messy business, hey???

Champagne for anyone?

Champagne??????????

The books close, the glasses come of and T42 becomes Champersallround!!!!

Hurray!!!!!!!!!!

• Holds out glass to be filled!!!

Hey - I was promised champagne and dancing on the tables. Where's the party gone. I don't know, go out for parent's evening and rehearsal and nothing happens...

Parent's evening went OK - aparently ds is fine - didn't do pattern recognition well - but that might have been because he was making a pretty pattern instead.

We were having a glass of wine to celebrate. However, we've just noticed that the dog has two large lumps at the back of her ribcage - I wondered what she had been doing as she normally keeps up and I had to call her to catch up. Goodness knows what she's been eating... We'll just have to hope she's alright.

So, we were having a glass of wine but have had to stop just in case one of us has to drive to the vets. However, I will be sticking around for a bit as I'm going to stay up a bit late to make sure she's alright still a bit later and to let her out in the garden again...

So, will probably be hanging around here a bit drinking something non-alchoholic just in case.

Anyone for a mince pie - I made them yesterday, but they're still OK today...

T42 Dims lights, lights a tealight on each table, puts on a cocktail dress - does it feel like a jazz club yet???!!!????

I feel in the mood for some jazz....

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKqUsxG4yuA

That took so long (computer kept on deleting) I didn't notice that the corks had popped. I really shouldn't but if you twist my arm

Mistlethrush - Sorry about your dog - we have two lovely dogs in our extended family - seriously we all fall apart if anything is wrong with either of them.

If you are a dog lover it is as bad as when your children are ill - and that is really horrible!!!

A song (we're drifting towards the blues here though) to wish your dog well...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6AZNywvF-s

T42 climbs on the table - seeing as it was promised to you mistlethrush and starts doing a dodgy dance routine!!!!

I am also searching for one to celebrate your brilliant ds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, if its in celebration of ds's not too bad parent's evening, probably should be sort of 70's disco - nice and boppy - he would join in if he was awake - and I will too!