Do other people make you feel guilty...

[coochybottom]

...for only having one child??? I tried for several years before we managed to have more children[spontaniously had twins,tried too hard]. In that time I found other peoples attitudes to the fact I only had one got me down,especially as I was trying for another. I now realise that they are only jealous of the peace and quiet and civilised living that I have now left behind...

Congrats on the new topic, by the way!!!

also i do think some people say that can be quite of the peace and calm in your household

DD was 5.5 when ds arrived. She used to say to us that she was the only person in the class without a brother or sister (and from memory probably was).

One old dear even asked me if they had the same fathers! (which they do btw)

I agree about the competitive breeding

I have two. I am asked constantly by a certain type of mum if we are going to have any more, then they shake their heads sadly when I say truthfully I'm very happy with the way things are and say things like "well, I loved being one of four."

One of these mums has two, has announced she's going to have two more but that she will send them all to boarding school at seven because that's the only way she can cope with such a big family . For all you mothers of onlys I feel for you. I think it's the height of rudeness to ask anyone how many children they'd like, who knows what sensitive nerves you could be touching.

pinktree - realy sorry to hear your story. Even thought we've decided to just have one, as an only myself I totally know where you are coming from, and it's exactly the same thoughts that make me wonder if I'm doing the right thing, so don't feel bad about expressing your feelings. It must be even harder for you having experienced having a sibling.

I have always been an only, and would say that, as a child it was fine, I had lots of little friends around me, a great imagination (!), and was quite content with my own company otherwise.

As an adult it is a very different story, and there can be an awful lot of guilt and responsibility and expectations attached to being an only. It causes a lot of friction in my family as my monster MIL, is very matriarchal and expects everything to revolve around her even though DH is one of three and she has other family around, and understandably, I feel we should put my parents first as they are older and only have me.

I also agree that unless you are an only it's very difficult to understand how it feels.

pinktree I am in a similar situation as you .. my only brother died 10 years ago and it does put a terrible strain on the one remaining child. That said, I am struggling myself at the moment to decide whether to have a second dc. Ds is 3.6 and goes to school next September but I cannot see a way financially for us to be able to afford a second! I am also torn as to whether I want to go back to the whole "baby" thing as neither dp or I are getting any younger. Dilemma, dilemma!