I think DS will be an only - please tell me your favourite things of having one.

[december2020]

I always had it in my mind that'd we'd have two kids but as I'm getting older, no external help outside of DH and I, and the cost of living getting increasingly more expensive, it's pretty clear that we'll probably only have one.

Don't get me wrong, DS is my world, he is so amazing, and it means I can give him all my time and money and make sure he has the best life.
But equally I'm coming to terms with not having a second.

So please tell me all your favourite things of having one. The special moments you have and your favourite moments.

You will have a peaceful house without the constant squabbling. You won’t be constantly trying to split yourself in two.

I've been a nanny for 20 years always siblings 2 or 3 kids and just having my son is such a treat! The not refereeing constantly is the best! Going on a lunch date with my son is actually nice.

I read in a fantastic book called "Siblings Without Rivalry" that it is not just each individual child that needs care (and a whole extra human being does entail a lot of extra care!) but also the relationships between family members that need attention and nurturing also. And since children don't have the maturity or skills to manage relationships the responsibility for managing these relationships is going to fall on the parents.

In a family with one child there is the relationship the child has individually with each parent (2) then the whole family dynamic (child with both parents). So the total is 3 dynamics in total (excluding the relationship between parents).

Add an extra child and in addition to the whole family dynamic (1) the number of one-to-one relationships jumps (to 6) and there are additional dynamics involving one parent with two children and one child with two of their parents (4). So going from one child to two is a jump from 3 to 11 separate relationship dynamics.

This, this, this!!!

I'm an only child and I have one DC, of secondary school age.
I have always loved being an only child and I've never felt that I've missed out by not having a sibling. I do need my own space, which I'm sure is an only child thing, but I'm sociable too.
Home life is very calm and organised. DC is a member of sports teams and has lots of friends. I'd find it difficult doing the ferrying around to various training/games for more siblings.
DP and I share our parenting very evenly. When I'm on taxi duty, he's resting at home and vice versa. Whilst we both work and that can mean pressures and tiredness, there's recovery time. I don't find one DC, of nearly teen age difficult to manage.
School trips can be costly, but manageable with an only child; plus DC is the only grandchild of my parents. We don't feel the pinch that larger families do.
It's the school hols now and I find that it's important to invite DCs friends here. There's been two sleepovers already, (likely to be more!) I sense that I'm more focused on this than other mums in the group because I'm a mum to one. I therefore have more room / space and perhaps a drive to keep my DC entertained.
The only draw back, if it can be considered as such; is that I don't do communal living very well, (apart from our unit of 3.) The idea of staying away with a large group and sharing bathroom / kitchen facilities is challenging. All that clutter and noise!! (Shudders.)