Dd lonely and wanting sibling.

[Happybunny00]

Need help.

My dd is 5 years old, me and her dad have co parented since she was around 4 months, and honestly we are great at it. Although not together we are still a very close family of 3.
However, dd has expressed multiple times how she’d love a sibling, she says and I quote “can I have a baby brother or sister because I only have you and Daddy to play with” when we reassure her of the multiple cousins she has (over sixteen, and five of them her age or a year difference) her reply is but they are not always there. We remind her of friends and again her rely is the same.

I’m really confused and torn as to whether we should give her another sibling. Again, if we did the baby would be with same dad (awkward I know, but we’ve discussed this) I just really am at a loss. Before I didn’t worry as I believed there was many pros to being an only child, but with dd expressing the want for sibling and lonliness. Should we?

This is my first post, hope it makes sense.

Even taking into account the age gap which means your daughter probably wouldn’t have the playmate she currently desires. There is also no guarantee they will actually get on when they are older.

No that’s ridiculous. A child doesn’t get to dictate whether parents have another baby!

You need to be really careful & consider all possible circumstances. You may have a disabled child that you’re left to raise alone, don’t do this just to placate your daughter.

If you’re not together would you both be happy to have sex with each other in order to conceive or would you go a different route? Sounds a bit complicated to me if you aren’t ‘together’ and confusing for your DD.

OP are you suggesting returning to a sustained conjugal relationship with a man you are not in a relationship with? Would that not be fecking complicated? What are you going to do? Book him in to service you at hand over??

Wait, I'm confused 🤔. So you are separated from dd's dad, but you want to have a second baby with him for the sake of pleasing your first?

I don't think you can trust a 5 year old to know what she wants, especially not with a serious decision like this (a decision adults need to make). Honestly, your dd will most likely get bored of a new baby very quickly and there is no guarantee that they'll get along well.

@Doobiedooo.. thats ok, I guess that saying I love you is kind of grimacy!! But It was said in a Noel Fielding style! I adore him you see. If there was one man in this world I would run away with it would be him every time.

That's great to hear your child is happy, sociable and has lots of friends plus gets on well with you. DS is the same. He has a great relationship with us, and we encourage him to talk to us about anything he likes. When I look back at my childhood I was mostly too scared to talk to my parents about sensitive topics and the last thing I remember from my relationship with my mum is small talk and nothing else. It was strained. I def don't want DS to feel the same.

Yes it is freeing in a way not to be bound by your past. I do tend to dwell on it way too much. But having a child makes you live in the moment. It's really precious time.

@BooseysMom hahah I agree re Noel. What’s not to like. Ps While DS and DH are currently watching a film, I’m drinking limoncello = Foul, yet excellent. Could NOT be doing that if I had several kids. But anyway, Note to self (selves). Hope you and your child have a lovely time together. I have a good friend who is an “only” and she is one of the nicest people I know. She says she always felt supported by her parents. Brilliant. Much better than crappy relationship with parents but loads of siblings. Also, kinda environmentally helpful. So: go us. And back to my limoncello 😁

@Doobiedooo.. Def go us! I am going to save this thread for when I have my next beating myself up session and it will happen. I remember my mum and others in my family (who i mostly hate btw!) saying only children turn out to be selfish and self obsessed but reading posts on the One child families thread always disproves that theory as they don't have to constantly compete for attention and are generally more supported.
Thanks again. Enjoy that limoncello