Anyone an only themselves & felt lonely as a child?

[Hamster555]

We have just the one LG 14months. She's the total opposite to me and her Dad. I suspect she will be very outgoing and extrovert. Not a bad thing at all as due to a difficult birth and financial reasons we won't be having anymore. But my concern is she may feel lonely. I had a half sister as a child, we fought like cat and dog but now I look back and can't envisage how life May have been without my half sister around either. I think perhaps it's a case of as humans we sometimes never quite feel fully happy and wonder if the grass is greener on the other side. I worry in time she may come to feel lonely without a sibling but I know it isn't the rose tinted view sometimes either when kids do have siblings. Her extroverted nature and high energy I suspect will stand her in good stead for making plenty of friends as she gets older and therefore I just need to ensure plenty of after school activities and friends over, vice versus. Just wondering if anyone was an only and ever felt lonely with no siblings and or bored because of their more quiet/introverted parents?

I have 2 older siblings and felt lonely as they left me out! So a sibling doesn't always guarantee that you won't feel lonely. Definitely projecting here though

@Nowifi thanks for the reply, it's interesting to read other peoples views of how their experiences as onlys were. Just hope our LG won't be lonely x x

Only thing I find is that I have to play with my daughter all the time and she doesn't like being on her own, I'm sure as she gets older she won't want to be near me all the time! Friends I see with more than one the kids seem a bit happier to leave the parents alone, but then I guess it has drawbacks in other ways.

Only child here 👋. I'm not sure if I've ever felt lonely specifically related to being an only child. I guess every child feels lonely at some point, regardless of number of siblings. I actually really enjoyed playing by myself and I could spend hours making up imaginary scenarios with my stuffed animals, so not all only children need to be constantly entertained.

Somewhere around my late childhood / early teens, I went through a stage of longing to have a sibling. I remember I used to beg my parents to have another child. I think it may have been related to the fact that several of my friends at the time had new siblings and I guess I felt a bit 'left out at the time. Looking back now, I'm not sure if I'd have enjoyed having a sibling as much as I thought I would. I have accepted my ' only child ' status at this stage and have actually learnt to quite enjoy it. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. My dh has kindly let me 'share' his siblings 😅 so it has been an interesting experience. I admit there are a lot of things about sibling relationships that I just don't understand.

I'm the only child and loved it! Mum asked me once if I wanted a sibling, I said no, why would I? From where I am from being the only child is normal. Lots of my friends in the UK also have just one. I had cousins and lots of play dates to keep me entertained. I now have a DS and most likely will not go for the second one. In my mind it's just so much easier for everyone, no jealousy issues, easier financially, etc etc.

Also I never felt lonely, although I did spend lots of time playing on my own. As an adult I have lots of friends but also am self sufficient and don't need someone to keep myself entertained.

I am. I never felt lonely as a child....but I must admit that I have done as an adult, especially when left with the burden of elderly parents.

Thank you all for your replies much appreciated and sorry for the delayed response. It's so interesting to read, I suppose it is personal to the individual their experience but it's also my concern for her of the last comment re taking care of your elderly parents, I can imagine this is difficult I really can. I hope you can find support, take a look I think it's on the health board you may find some helpful tips in one of the threads in there. X x x

I’m an only, and growing up I wouldn’t have admitted I was lonely, but looking back I was. However I had two very introverted parents so they never had friends over, and not much extended family so rarely played with cousins. Always had plenty of school friends!

Now that I am older is when I’m starting to feel it in truth, as it would be very much welcomed to have someone to share the burden with, or even just discuss my parents with.

I would say there are also lots of positives, I had a lot of attention and care compared to my friends.

I do have a sibling but there’s a 10 year difference so can remember both.

I remember whining for a sibling when I was about 6, but only because most people at school had one. I was never actually lonely, but I’m a bit of an introvert anyway. My parents were also really good at letting me have friends round, and on holiday choosing hotels with kids clubs so I could easily make friends.

I get on well with my sibling now, but I wouldn’t say one was better or worse than before - just different!

Oh I would say that even now caring for parents, I’m much more likely to discuss it with my husband / close friends than I am my sibling.

I am an only child and my feelings on it are mixed. It honestly wasn't an issue during my childhood. I had an extremely happy childhood and don't remember feeling lonely at all. I had lots of friends and was also close to my cousins. I was also perfectly happy to spend time alone and was always good at keeping myself amused.

However, I am more aware of it as an adult and I would now love to have a sibling particularly as my parents become older and need more support. My DP is one of 5 and I am really envious of the relationship that he has with his brother and 3 sisters and the way that they support each other.

What I should add, though, is that I don’t believe there’s the “perfect family” - certainly not ex ante, anyway. I’m an only - there were pros and cons of that. My DH is one of three - with different pros and cons. And he doesn’t get on with his siblings and would say he’d have preferred to be an only one. Having multiple children is no guarantee that they’ll be great friends. So - all you can do is embrace your own situation, focus on the positives and try to mitigate the negatives. Certainly nothing “wrong” with having/being an only child.

Reading the replies is so helpful, it's made me realise I think that there is pros and cons to every situation. It's easy to think having a sibling will be great but then you have no guarantee that sibling will be the same as the first or others. The gene pool is vast. Take my daughter she is totally different in Every way to my Dh and myself, she is very much like my mum was but it surprised us as we just expected her to be like us but she is the total opposite, now this has taken some getting used to and it is exhausting as she's very different in character esp to my partner but I see that there is a lot of positives! If we were all the same I think although intially itd be easier it would also be boring not having the cheeky character our little girl has who I think will bring a lot of life in to our quite boring lives. She happily plays alone and does not seem bothered at all atm by being an only as she loves the attention also and I think she'd hate having to fight us for that. It's settled my mind reading these which I'd hoped for because I just don't think we will have anymore and I felt such guilt about that and worry for her when we get old but as someone else stated they discuss these issues with their partner and tbh most people prob do the same! X x

Only child here. And I never felt lonely or really noticed any difference to friends with siblings, other than the peace and quiet at home. Had lots of friends, and had a lot of hobbies.

I've noticed the advantage now as an adult, as I'm very self sufficient and independent. Also more confident in social situations as I had to be as a child. The burden of looking after my parents is on me, but I've never met a family where all siblings supported equally! There's always one sibling that supports and others who don't. In fact so many siblings I know are locked into arguments over inheritance, care etc that I will never have. Most important, i have my parent's undivided attention, no comparisons growing up or favouritism.

I'm an only who hated my childhood for various reasons (mostly circumstantial) but I don't remember being lonely.

I am and never felt lonely. DH is the same.

We both had a good circle of friends growing up but equally were happy with our own company (still are).

I've never once wished I had siblings.

I have a brilliant relationship with my parents.

Of all my friends I only know one who in adulthood has a very close relationship with siblings. All the others have a polite but distanced relationship or actively dislike each other (in many cases re: the latter having never got on as children).

There were things I liked about being an only child but I really longed for a brother or sister.
There is no doubt that being an only child left its scars on me but also gave me many strengths.
As an adult I have no family- a cousin down south who I rarely see. My parents are dead, I have no other cousins in this country and my aunts and uncles and grandparents are dead. My mum died when I was 33 and my dad before that. I have DH and his family but it's not the same.
I feel very alone in many ways- no one's daughter, grand-daughter, sister, aunt, niece. I am only anything as an 'in-law' apart from to DC. I have no one now who remembers my dad or grandparents and DH only knew my mum for 3 years. I can't share memories of my childhood with anyone who was there. There is no one I can ask about my family and what some things happened. That feels really lonely.

I would not have one child by choice. We have 3.

I have a sibling but I was the loneliest child ever. My younger sibling was born early and acquired a brain injury due to surgery at an early age.
I was isolated and lonely from a very young age. That never left. I was an isolated and lonely teen and continue to be in my forties.

My child is an only and knows only love and worth.

I'm an only and I was never lonely. I had an amazing childhood. Having siblings does not guarantee a happy childhood.

Sorry just to add re: looking after elderly parents.

Thankfully DP's are still fit and healthy.

However friends experience has taught me that even if you have siblings there's no guarantee that they will equally contribute to care and I'm sad to say that from what I've seen the stereotype that female children bear the brunt of the work is true.

What that doesn't stop is other siblings feeling entitled to have their say and/or be critical of the care being provided.

As I see it, when the time comes I might bear the burden but I'll also be able to make clear decisions in my parents best interests without interference or the stress of someone else meddling but not contributing to care.

I'm an only but I had cousins and friends around as a child. These days I am happy with other people but equally happy in my own company. I can occupy myself quite happily for days. One thing that has always mystified me is how so many relatives used to buy me boxed games for 2+ people for birthdays and and Christmas

I'm an only. My parents argued a lot which made me feel very lonely. I've always been independent but would have been reassuring to have someone else to go through all the crap with.

I'm obviously an adult now but still wish I had a sibling. Makes me feel pretty down when I think about it. my parents are still alive but when they die I'll have no family (unless I have children)

I was one of three..middle child. Two brothers. I felt so so alone as a child.

I'm an only and I did feel lonely at times as a child, even though my parents were involved and I had plenty of friends. But it wasn't awful, I accepted it. I don't have much "alone time" nowadays but I know that if I ended up on my own (say I was widowed and my children had moved away), I'd be fine. I think learning to enjoy your own company can make you somewhat resilient.