So very sad about having just one

[PseuDenim]

I adore my 4yo DS and he brings me so much joy. I am 38 nearly 39 and my husband recently left.

I am trying so so hard to stay positive even though things are falling down around my ears but by far the biggest thing consuming me is that I feel like DS will never have a sibling and it’s eating me up inside.

I adore my siblings and although I know it’s not a given that adult siblings will be close or even like each other much, but mine have been my best friends for my whole life.

I feel like I will be ruining DSs life if he is an only, but I am also feeling like I won’t have a complete life by never being pregnant again or holding my baby in my arms.

I’m falling apart at the seams about it and keep bursting into tears when I see happy little families together.

Help me pull myself together please.

I will be 43 when my next baby is born next spring! It ain't over til it's over!

My DH was an only child, his cousins were his ‘siblings’. Do your siblings have children.

So true dales!

Yes he has 4 on my side and 2 on his dad’s side although he never sees them mrs

I’m unable to have a second thanks to the joys of secondary infertility OP so and to you (and a bit of for me too but only Internet wine because it’s 8am). I don’t think I have any advice but just...I know how sad it feels.

Your dc will be fine. I'm an only .. had a great childhood. Super close to dps, who gave me lots of help financially to go to uni, lots of focus on my education from them, and they helped me buy my first flat. I love spending time with them but we do live quite far away and I miss them

I have never missed a sibling because I've never known what I'm missing. I have lots of friends and now my own family and one dc.. unlikely to have another one out of choice because I know they will be fine

However I am lucky that my dps have lived to a great old age and are fit and well. It would have been hard if they had passed away before I married or were unwell and needed care. I intend to do my best to hang around until my dc is in a similar situation

I do get the odd sad feeling about never having another baby though and I think that's normal

Sorry to hear that you relationship has broken down. Take time for yourself

Thank you and sorry for the slow response. Although it’s always terribly sad to hear of others suffering with similar things to oneself it’s also strangely comforting in a weird way. Just to know that people survive it and turn out happy and fulfilled.

I may have had a glass or two of wine mind

I understand how you feel about the desperate want/need to have another child. There is a four year gap between my two oldest and I thought that the second one would never happen.

But from the other side - I am an only child. Growing up I had no friends who were only children. I was a real oddity. But I LOVED it. On my mum's side I had no cousins either. I actually felt sorry for my friends who weren't only children. When I was an older teen and the constant interest from grandparents/aunts/uncles was getting waring my aunt obliging provided two cousins and I loved them.

As we have grown up we have grown closer and closer. A fifteen year age gap is nothing now and we support each other like sisters. (I love her brother too but he doesn't live locally so not so close)

Now I am in my late 50's I still do not feel that I am missing anything by not having siblings.

Your son will be fine.

I also wanted two, sadly not to be- I had a tmfr and now have to get used to the fact I will only have one. Like a previous poster, I started out a little late and trying to be grateful for the lovely little boy I have.

After being told my baby would die in utero and then diagnosis of t21 I’m not sure I want to risk another shot.

Just feel it would be irresponsible if similar was to happen again- and I’m really not judging women who do try- the pull is just so strong and I’m still dealing with these feelings

Sorry that was too much about me to all of those who want another, but sadly can’t.

to you fatas had a little cry today after seeing someone give birth on a tv show (day off work)

Really struggling today with the breakdown of my relationship so everything just seems shit and miserable

I think an early night after a bath and crappy telly and then try and face tomorrow with a bit more positivity