Adult only children.. did you have an only yourself?

[dilemma45]

I'm an only child and I'm pretty sure my dc will be an only too

I think my own childhood has influenced this to some extent and I wondered how many others are in this situation...

Only child here, currently 38 weeks pregnant with baby 2.

Definitely influenced by my childhood though, no way I wanted ds to be an only.

I’m an only with an only. Ive always been happy to bean only and my son is too.

Yep. Whilst I was reasonably happy as an only, I definitely didn't want my DC to be so we have 2

I'm an only and now have 2 dc.

I'm not unhappy about being an only child but wanted my dc to have some support later in life.

I'm an only and although I had a lovely childhood I was conscious that I didn't want DS to be an only. Currently in early labour with DC2!

I'll be honest, now as an adult I can see how I will be solely responsible for my parents as they age and I didn't want my child to have to face that. I know having a sibling doesn't mean that won't happen (fall out etc) but I'd like to think I'd lessened the risk slightly

I also really enjoyed having a baby and toddler so this sealed it for me.

I have a friend who hated being an only, so she had two.

I'm an only and it has influenced my decision to have more than one DC. Currently thinking about No. 3 as I love the idea of a little tribe. I had a happy childhood, but as a teenager/adult would have loved a sibling to share the highs and lows of life. People that know you/ your life unlike anyone else in the world. I know giving my children siblings has no guarantees, but I'm giving them the opportunity for close sibling relationships and then it's up to them. I also felt my childhood was very quiet and neat and tidy and I would just like more of the hustle and bustle of larger family life.

Ooh, Grumpy ! How exciting! Good luck!

I'm an only, as is DH. We struggled with infertility so were overjoyed to have a baby at all. We were quite happy just having her as an only (especially as having a second seemed so unlikely), but then miracle baby DD2 turned up on her own. We were delighted to have two, as with no aunts/uncles/cousins there is not much in the way of extended family.

I'm an only child & was happy to have just 1 child as Infertility made conceiving difficult. DC1 was born after IVF & DC2 arrived unexpectedly 15 months later.
I had a wonderful only childhood & having an only child would have been totally fine with us.
The only downside is now following the death of a parent I feel completely responsible for my remaining parent who has had some health concerns recently. It does feel a little lonely.
However DH has an older sibling who he's seen once in 10 years so there are no guarantees with siblings

No, I had 4. Hated being an only!

I'm an only and have an only! Definitely didn't want more than one. I loved being an only child.

I'm an only and even now yearn for a sibling. Have two dc who get on well.

I had a great childhood and didn't feel I missed a sibling at all. I'm v close to parents who thankfully are in good health still in their seventies. My DC is 6 and I am 41 so I am pretty sure I'm told old for any more now but I have felt lonely as an adult and I am worried at how much lonelier I will be when my dps are no longer around and I'm scared of my dc feeling like that. Especially as dc has no cousins or other grandparents.

I can only hope that dh and I will live to a grand old age and dc will have great friends and a partner when we pop our clogs!

Both myself and my partner are only children and I also worry about the same things as you as we currently have only one child ourselves even though she is only 5 months old!
I think it is normal to be honest! (Although partner doesn't seem to worry about anything :p ) I think a lot of it comes down to your child's personality also however as well as their upbringing. And remember their are many positives to being an only child as well as negatives to being a sibling. And vice versa!
In reality we can't know what the "best" thing to do is and we can only make the best of the situation we are currently in :)

I'll be honest, now as an adult I can see how I will be solely responsible for my parents as they age and I didn't want my child to have to face that.

I am one of two but my sister emigrated to Australia 21 years ago. Our parents are getting older and it's me that does the running around so having a sibling doesn't guarantee that the load will be split.

DH is an only and hated it. He was very clear that he didn't want us to just have one child. Luckily I also wanted two.

"having a sibling doesn't guarantee that the load will be split. "

No, but being an only guarantees that it won't.

I’m an only with an only. I’ve had all sorts of fertility problems but I think my DS would have been an only through choice anyway.
I love being a tight little triangle of three. It’s a magic number!
My parents don’t expect me to look after them and nor will I expect my DS to care for me.

I am an only, I now have 4 children so I think that speaks for itself. Ageing parents is a big deal for only children. I agree that a 'tight little triangle of three' is a nice ideal within a youngish family but my dad was also an only and having seen him go through the 10 year decline of my grandads health (dementia, falls etc) and recent death, funeral arrangements made single handedly it has been awful, an untold amount of stress and worry has really aged him.

Ageing parents is a worry for me also. Social care is struggling for money and who knows what the NHS will be like when we're elderly. My mum doesn't expect me to look after her, but of course I will. Who else will do it? Putting her in a home would be a last resort, as I saw the effect it had on my Grandmother and my Mum hated herself for having to put her in there. I do feel the pressure of sole responsibility and I'm happy to know that hopefully my DC will have each other to share the load.

I'm a parent of an only and her show he's staying. DS keeps asking for. Sibling to play with but I'm 44 and don't want to do it again.

Caring for elderly parents is misleading though. I work in the Social Care sector and 8/10 I would say one sibling does it all and the others do FA. My own sibling does 10% for our surviving parent while I do 90% and she moans like hell about even doing that.

Still my only will inherit from me and DH and from my sibling if there's anything left so I hope we all just die without dragging it out.

Ugh the 'aging parent' and sad poor lonely only argument is so shit. I have a severely disabled sibling and will be responsible for him and my parents in the future. That's given me no reason to have more than my one perfect and healthy child. We all get old and die. It's my responsibility to teach my child to build healthy relationships. I don't think his lack of a sibling need hold him back.

I'm an only and whilst happy now as an adult, I didn't enjoy it being just me as a kid. Always wanted two kids so they could at the least grow up together but had a traumatic birth with DS1 so terrified of going through it again.

My MIL was an only, and both of her parents were only children (she divorced FIL) so there is no family on that side of the family. She said she hated being an only, led to a really strained relationship with her parents as she had all of their expectations on her shoulders. She emigrated (alone) as soon as she left school. She came back as her parents got old to look after them saying she had no choice but resented it I think.

I hated being an only child, still do. I had my DS1 and 13 months later had my DS2, hopefully in the future we will have one more!