Not sure to have second child as will be 7 year gap?

[twinklz]

Hi all,

I’m really struggling to decide wether to have another child. My only is nearly 6 and I’ve always wanted 2 children. I feel so guilty that I have left it so long. I can’t shake it off. I’m worried 7 years is too big a gap now as i always wanted them to be playmates and feel as though they will both miss out on this. Also I am 38. Any thoughts?

10 nearly 11 year gap. The adore each other. It's like having an extra pair of hands too. Hands that understand LO is a naughty cheeky little thing.

My brother and I are 8 years apart, we played together all the time for a first couple of years but when the teenage years hit I was into different things and rarely played with him. Now that ive had a son of my own, I feel like we don't have a bond, I love him very much and I hope he knows it, and that I'll always be here for him when he needs me, I miss him, I wish we were closer. Hopefully when he's older he'll want to communicate more, he's in the rotten teenage phase.

I had 3 then a gap. So no would have stopped at 3.

I think there isn't a big gap. I have a brother and he is 7 years older. We don't have problems with that at all. I think there was easier for parents because first child is more independent and does not require all your time.

We're doing this now OP. I'm 41, and baby will arrive with just shy of a 9 year age gap. DH will be late 40s when the baby arrives.

We'd given up hope of a 2nd so were stunned to get this pregnancy, so don't expect a late 30s pregnancy to be as easy to obtain as your 1st one was, but they do happen.

From what people have told me, the larger age gaps often works well as the older sibling has had years of being an only / baby so is less jealous of the baby and the baby gets to be an only in the day when older sibling is at school. Your issues are more about the older one having tiny toys, lego, board game pieces etc. than from having a jealous toddler. We'll be getting DS a baby gate for his door to stop the toddler wandering in and eating his football cards, but DS is thrilled and has been asking about when I was pregnant with him and hugging / kissing the bump goodnight.

I'm going to have a ten year gap with this pregnancy. It's been circumstance rather than choice which has prevented it happening earlier so currently we're planning to have two more, to get the close in age experience. Obviously that depends on the birth and baby! But like you say,I'm not sure about dc2 being 'another only'. That means we will likely have 3 dc rather than 2, but it feels right to us at the moment.

I'm finding lots of positive things about the large age gap and although I'm sad for DS that he won't have a close sibling, he's so excited and happy about the new baby and it's lovely.

Seeknieve

What made you go for it? I'm currently having counselling to help me make a decision but it's not helping me. I'm 41 and thought I was done but now struggling to stop thinking about it and am waking up every night worrying if I've made a mistake and left it too late!