Sick of being asked "is he your first?"

[chelle85]

Apologies but I need a rant!

I have a 10wk old DS and anyone and everyone that speaks to me when am I out with him asks if he is my first as if there is automatically going to be a second.

I am an only child myself and have never planned more than one child but if I dare say to people he is "my only child" they immediately tell me I'll change my mind.

Seriously what is it with people making judgements about being an only child. What is so wrong with the concept?!

So silly and precious of you. Don’t be one of these “offended at everything mums” ~no one likes them.

The first baby being born, you becoming a mummy, your marriage whatever turning into a little family it’s just a really special time and those strangers can get a lot out of that interaction With you and your little one. If they don’t know how many kids you have then you probably don’t know what they’ve gone through and what happiness that little interaction has for them.

peetle my friend struggled with this question too. Actually 2 of my friends. One of my friends daughters was a still born and my other friends daughter died at 10 months old. Both fucking devastating.

I would really swallow your pride here. You have healthy child. Reply with " yes thanks" and a big happy i love my child she is alive, healthy and beautiful, and we love her smile.

We ALL have parent insecurities, don't blame random strangers in the street making small talk for your underlying issues.

Just ignore it. I get that a lot as well but you gotta be in their shoes. Some people would just ask those kinds of questions out of curiosity. I have a 8yo dd and I've learned to just ignore it.

I'd say.... no my 8th...

They'll be stumped haha

I always ask people this. I don’t mean ‘are you having more children’. I mean ‘have you just become a parent’. That first baby (or only baby) is a unique experience that can’t be repeated.

If it makes you feel better OP people used to ask me this about my twins.

I’m damn sure no one was suggesting that I didn’t have enough babies! They were just asking if I had more little darlings back at home.

It’s a standard question. No one cares about the answer. It’s just a talking point.

As others have said, when someone asks if you're baby is your first, they're not implying, nor suggesting, that you will have more than one child. They are literally asking if he's your first baby, discerning whether you already have existing children.

It's a common question to ask parents of newborns.

I answer "only" and they say"you'll change your mind".

I won't.
It's just what people say. For some reason.

It's ok, ur not being ridiculous. You have a 10wk old baby and if you were like me you are probably sleep deprived and extremely exhausted while at the same time totally enjoying your baby. 'Is it your first' is a pretty standard question. We all get asked it. People ask it for a variety of reasons: small talk, determining what kind of advice/support they could offer you, curiosity, or determining how to judge you. Some people can be a little bit judgmental. Everybody has an opinion on parenting. I remember someone asking me if I was thinking about having my next baby soon about 12wks after she was born. I looked at them as if they were crazy. (I put it down to either assumptions based on my age that I would start straight away or it was just a stupid thing they said. I've said stupid things before so not judging them for it). My dd is my one and only child and I have had people express their opinion that it is better for children to have a sibling. Most times I just politely say 'not necessarily' but one time I've told the person outright that they were being incredibly rude and insensitive because she wouldn't drop it and kept telling me how bad it was for my daughter to not have siblings right there in front of my daughter. None of us are perfect and we all have our quirks. So, water off a ducks back. If someone is being blatantly rude, call them out on it, then move on and forget about it. And pp telling op that she's being ridiculous that's not very supportive. Remember what it was like in the first 12wks? Were you exhausted and a teeny, tiny bit hormonal? Maybe a little bit sensitive or annoyed at other people's unwanted advice or opinions? Everybody needs to vent.