tea room 36 - Teh Alpine Chalet

[UniS]

Welcome to the Tea rooms newest incarnation. A cozy log cabin with a roaring log fire, comfy chintz sofas and a dedicated man about the house, our Butler, Mellors. Out of the windows you can see sparkling white snow gently drifted up under the green Christmas trees and bright blue skies. Children can all be packed off to play healthy outdoor stuff while we stay snug n warm in here with our mulled wine, tea,artisan hot chocolate and other beverages served in mugs, glasses or buckets.

The usual rules apply - no fisticuffs. And no messing with the aspidistra.

Reported post for naming names again. Aaaargh! Brain like a sieve at the moment.

I don't think that meeting with her and telling her that he was vulnerable and that her continued chasing of him is not helping the situation would be a sensible course of action Donki. I do think that MrD needs to acknowledge what is at the root cause of this whole sorry saga (likely depression) and get that sorted out -which means going to the Dr - not easy I know but needs must.

Anytime a is required, do give me a ring. If DH isn't 'out' anyway we can always sit in a different room (we would be nearer the kettle in the kitchen...)

I know MT - but a bit of me thinks that if I just explain it right, she will do the right thing! I suppose partly it's how helpless I feel to have any influence on an outcome that is so desperately important to me. Partly an innate (and irrational) conviction, that my viewpoint is so obviously the only one that if I get the explanation right so that she/they understand, then they'll be bound to do what I think is right.

Being near the kettle is alwayd a good thing. Maybe I should bring the galvanised bucket. [Grin]

Also I just do not understand the mindset of someone who chases a married man with family commitments.

Donki, if you did meet her and explained I feel that it would make your H even more of an attraction.. more 'forbidden' - and therefore make it even less likely that she will stop. I think H needs to think about the sort of woman she is and what this is likely to result in in the future if he does decide he 'loves' her.

Can you get his mum to help him to see someone about his depression? Again, I really don't feel that you should be the instigator for this.

If you need an excuse to be out so that he has to do child care duties, let me know. It will soon be light enough to go for a stroll if DH is in and can do the child care our end. Mistlehound might have to stay on the lead if we go anywhere other than round our normal route because she turns into a different beast at twilight and turns deaf. And of course its too dark to get her to see sign language either

Donki - I tend to agree with Mistle. It's very likely that the OW is immune to any arguments about doing the right thing. She has probably convinced herself that she understands and appreciates H (whereas, she has no doubt told herself, you don't). As Mistle says, H needs to work on the underlying things that led him into this situation.

I am sure that you are right. I have made an appointment for me with Relate to help me to process my feelings and to decide what I need to do. DH (and despite it all he is 'D' - that is the problem) is invited to join me if he wishes. Not to work on our relationship (that will come later, if he decides we still have one) but to work out where we both are in all this and what we need to do. I do not know if he will feel able to come or not.
I am also starting to work my way through the Relate website to help my thinking - and will invite (not pressurise) DH to do the same. It might lead to more productive conversations rather than us just reflecting pain at each other.

Life can be so crap at times.

I had never realised that the term 'heartbreak' is not in the least metaphorical. It is a precise description of the sensation in my chest.

Oh, Donki . I can only agree. Life can be crap at times. Well done for arranging the Relate appointment and working through the website. Look after yourself and the YD.

And H has just texted to say that he will be "out" tonight - despite the fact that he has had to come nearly back home to go to the dentist and will then have to travel right across Leeds.

I can't believe that he is doing this to me and the YD. He KNOWS that the YD needs a stable and predictable routine.

Fucking Bastard - and he hasn't let me know if he will be back so that I can tell the YD if he will be around in the morning.

The YD needs a stable and predictable routine. He has ASD.

I shouldn't have to feel that I am protecting him from his FATHER

Don't rise to it Donki, don't rise to it...
Do what you need to protect YD - but don't put any expectations on H which could be construed as 'moaning' or 'demanding' etc - it will just play into OW's hand.

And I hope that mumsnet edit the YD's name out son.... brain like a seive at the moment

sieve even

and 'soon' not 'son'

And breathe... MT that is why I am ranting on here and not at 'D' H

Hope you and DS got out of the house after a calm morning Donki.

We've currently got ear issues - DS has antibiotic eardrops - the trouble is he knows they hurt. When he was little we just did them. I'm not doing that now - he needs to agree to have them - and he knows he needs them but just can't bring himself to have them and then breaks down into a big snotty wailing lump... Have referal letter for pediatric ENT consultant though so we're going to bite the bullet and see if they will do the graft for his ear drum and hope that this doesn't happen again...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha maybe I am being a superbitch here BUT I SOOOOOOOO love it that Mr D has to travel across Leeds to see OW. I am sorry but travelling across Leeds post dentist appointment sounds sooooooo very very very UNsexy!!!!! I am imagining him making the journey across with a goat, on a rusty bike with a chain that keeps falling off, with a puffy mouth with bits of cotton wool flying out, heavy traffic and various tearoomers jumping out of hedges to bang him on the head with their frying pans. It all sounds rather much like a George Formby film plot!!!!! Does he happen to clean windows for living????

MT sorry about your ear problems - ears are horrors when they go wrong.... : (

hello tea. did the clanging of frying pans wake you? Care for a cuppa while you're here?

unis puts the artisan mugs and a large teapot in a wooly cozy on the distressed coffee table.

Is it distressed because it is being used for tea and not coffee UniS?

Hello everyone
Just stopping for a . I do wish there was a galvanised bucket emoticon!
Got the YD out calmly but sans homework - sseveral issues with the homework about which I collared the teacher (well, TA - it was teacher's morning for PPA).

Unnaccessible for the YD due to Asperger's (no differentiation)
Framed as a competition - so the YD felt that there was no point trying, since he couldn't win.
A task that the YD would be overwhelmed by even when no other stressors in life. (Due to ASD issues)
I did not have the energy at the moment to force the YD to do a task so fundamentally ill suited.

We will see what they say.

Going out for a walk with DM and then do some gardening - things that will help me to feel better. (Doctor's orders!)

And thank you everybody.
Mistle, I hope that Mistleboy's ear gets sorted - ear problems are so painful. And pain (and hearing loss from ear infection) can make it very hard to concéntrate... (Teacher of the Deaf hat on)

SB and I are at the hospital, having our packed lunch, waiting for The Teddy Bear hospital. He is very excited. And hungry. He's eating with gusto and I fear for our grocery bill.

Will check in later when I'm on a decent keyboard.

?Puts out a fresh pot of tea and a variety of biscuits?
?Fluffs up hay pile and then curls up in it with a large bucket of tea?

H is introducing the YD to Red Dwarf before he goes to bed so we are all sitting in the living room and I am trying to prerend life is normal.
It is not easy - and my stomach is all knotted.