tea room 36 - Teh Alpine Chalet

[UniS]

Welcome to the Tea rooms newest incarnation. A cozy log cabin with a roaring log fire, comfy chintz sofas and a dedicated man about the house, our Butler, Mellors. Out of the windows you can see sparkling white snow gently drifted up under the green Christmas trees and bright blue skies. Children can all be packed off to play healthy outdoor stuff while we stay snug n warm in here with our mulled wine, tea,artisan hot chocolate and other beverages served in mugs, glasses or buckets.

The usual rules apply - no fisticuffs. And no messing with the aspidistra.

I didn't rant at him - and I didn't throw him out. I think he expected me to - and half wanted me to/half feared I would.

If he is going to leave us, I'm not doing the work for him.

I did say that if he walked out on YD there wasn't a hell deep enough for him.

And I said that if we wanted our marriage to survive, we would both need to work hard, and it would be difficult, but I thought possible, to get past this.

I also told him he wasn't a teenager who could think with his balls... he was an adult with commitments and responsibilities.

It is a work colleague half my age...

Neither of us slept much - The YD and I went to my God-daughter's 4th birthday outing at a lambing event near York today. It is amazing how alone you can be in the middle of what felt like the entire population of North Yorkshire.

The distraction was useful. And I got much needed hugs from my friends - who offered to hit H over the head with a frying pan...

The ear scratches and carrot wine are much appreciated.

H has gone to talk to OW - after a long chat with another friend of his who I think hit him over the head with a frying pan as much as you can by phone...

I don't know what is going to happen.

Sorry about the mask - I was a bit distracted.

Ooops reported post as the YD's name was used.

Oh, Donki. What a horrible situation to be in. It sounds to me as if you are taking exactly the right approach. Dont do the work for him and don't tolerate any adolescent posturing. You could do a alot of damage with a le Creuset.

All the best to you and the YD.

::ear rub::

I'm glad that you have had a good day out and away from things Donki. I anticipate you have reported your post so it will disappear. I have at least 5 different frying pans of different sizes and shapes if you need any additional ones...

I quite fancy borrowing Maud's le creuset...

He's just come back from seeing OW. Maybe he's made his mind up what he's doing and what his life expectancy is

Le Creuset is very heavy and even the small milk pan would give a very satisfying thwack

I wish I knew what to say, Donki. I'm glad you got some comfort from the outing to the farm and that you have local, supportive friends. I am holding you and the YD in the light.

::further ear rub::

I have several pieces including a grill pan which is so heavy it could do some damage to MrDonki a house if dropped that you're welcome to borrow.

I have an eight year old! Where did he come from? I'm sure I only had a seven year old yesterday.

Happy birthday to UniBoy!

It's scary isn't it!

Donki looks up and breaks into a rendition of Happy Birthday to UniBoy!

?Have you ever heard a donkey sing??

It was pointed out to me last night that there it is a common pattern for people (especially men) who are depressed, especially if they have low self esteem and are recently bereaved, to self medicate by having an affair. It is an enormously powerful psychological positive feedback loop.

And any biologist (or sound engineer, or nuclear physicist) knows where positive feedback loops lead...

I must say that the word 'positive' has never fealt to be less appropriate...

Please excuse poor grammar, typos and spellings. Brain is struggling to stay online.

I'm so sorry Donki :(

It's perfectly readable Donki - worry not.

'If' he does decide to stay he's going to have to do some serious work on himself.

I have not been around for a long while but stand shoulder to shoulder with my Le Creuset raised ready to help Donki as best I may. I am so sorry

Happy birthday, Boy!

Happy birthday, Boy!

Glad to see you joining the le Creuset-wielding throng, oxeye.

I did think it sounded like some sort of midlife crisis, but even that would be an explanation and not an excuse.

::clasps oxeye to her ample bosom and uses remaining arm to stroke Donki's ears::

Definitely explanation, not excuse.
But it helps me to think about what to do ie look after me and the YD.

And no excuse for OW.

No, no excuse at all for OW but she is young and no doubt thinks she is in luuuurve.

Do you think that rattling H's brains with the le creuset will help them to work better? (Hopeful)

And thank you. The image of everyone standing shoulder to shoulder wielding the le creuset frying pans has brought a smile to my face, and helped enormously. I was particularly taken by Maud's description of the small milk pan making a satisfying thwack!

It's the least we can do, Donki.

I fear the problem at the moment may be that H's brain is under-employed and he has, as you said, been thinking with another part of his anatomy.

Have you ventured onto the Relationship thread where (sadly) situations like yours are all too common? I know that they would urge you to go and get legal and financial advice covering all the possible outcomes.

My le Creuset is red, so it wouldn't show the blood

I was privileged to meet Mistlehound for a very therapeutic licking and chat with Mistle this evening. Thank you! The teas were very fine too. And as everyone knows, tea is a universal panacea.

I realise that it is probably not a good idea, but I really want to meet OW and

1. explain why DH was so vulnerable - and the mechanism involved.
2. appeal to her better nature by explaining what is at stake... and making myself 'real' to her.

Rationality always works, right?