The Nordic Tearoom (Number 31)

[beanandspud]

We have moored the barge for the winter and have moved to a beautiful, cosy log cabin in deepest Scandinavia overlooking a frozen lake and surrounded by pine trees.

Mellors has lit the log fires and candles, it is snowing outside and there are comfortable seats for everyone and fleecy blankets to snuggle up in. For the more active tearoomers there are skis and sledges outside as well as a steaming hot tub for winding down after a busy day.

So pull up a chair. The kettle is on for and there is always plenty of depending on your mood and time zone. (Alternatively there is schnapps, smorgasbord and smoked fish).

Everybody is welcome ? share as much or as little as you like ? but no fisticuffs please!

I'm gonna say thanking all your stars :o

And his birthday is always going to be half term. Wonder if I could get away with no parties....? LOL No, that wouldn't be fair. Even having a summer birthday I always had a party at some point during the year. Since I could never take cupcakes to school the way my friends got to I used to take cupcakes in on the anniversary of my adoption to celebrate.

Oh Scout and JM. Those both sound like tough situations to be in. For JM, I guess the only answer now is to slog through it and keep your eyes fixed on the qualification/accreditation you'll get at the end of it. For Scout, is there anything that you can change to give Toddler some daddytime and you some coupletime during the week? A husband who's pulling in a huge salary but isn't around from Monday to Friday and on conference calls on weekends can't make much other contribution to the family, alas.

Has anyone seen the glitterball recently? .

OK, I'll dance to yours if you do with me.

Oh my. That is awesome but also slightly scary the last time I saw contortions like that, I had dislocated my thumb and it was emerging from the back of my hand.

The one and only time I did yoga I puked in the middle of it. Seriously. I steer clear of it now.

As for MrScout, weeks like this past one are blessfully rare. He even said himself the person he's working with at the moment doesn't have timekeeping skills unfortunately it affects him and his ability to manage his own workload/life balance. Unfortunately, though, working 9-6 in London and living in East Anglia means long commutes so leaving a bit early (7 a.m.) and coming home a bit later (7:45/8:00). He and I do normally get coupledom time, even if it's just eating dinner and watching an hour of tv, during the week. But it was the call/s while we were out that bugged me. We were in a shop and TS kept trying to get his dad's attention to talk to him and he had to deal with me and he deals with me all week. I know it's a rarity but it bugged the heck out of me. Fortuntely, after the hospital next week, we're off to Stoke for our annual trip to the potteries and are going for the whole weekend (not just to the potteries, but we do other exploring, visiting of parks and NT sites, etc). I'm looking forward to it.

Don't think I've ever been to Stoke. Which NT properties are nearby?

Eek. The Osmonds on telly now. The Girl (who has a late night pass) just looked at me when I said Donny was my first pop crush.

I don't remember, Maud. We usually find one on the way home to stop at. It can be anywhere between here and there. When TS was still a relatively new BabyScout we stayed in Nottingham on the way up and we went to Sherwood Forest. I got a kick out of telling friends/family that we went to Robin Hood's home. I am a sad soul.

Erm no you're not, I would have had to milk that too!! :o

We love Robin Hood in this house and have just been to Stratford on Avon to see the Royal Shakespeare Company's The Heart of Robin Hood!

I liked Robin Hood's naked butt in the version with Kevin Costner.

This is interesting - she argues that wanting another baby is the middle-aged woman's equivalent of a middle-aged man wanting a sports car!

I really refuse to buy into believing that 40 is middle-aged. I'm 42, will be 43 in April. My mum is 65. I consider my mum middle-aged.

Maybe I'm delusional, but that was the first thing I thought.

Anyway - yes, an interesting article. Other than the aforementioned lack of thought, I'm not sure what I think.

What did you think, Maud?

Hmm. I'm not entirely sure either.

Her situation was/is different from mine, because at the age at which she was fretting about having a second baby, I was having my first and only child, but I was interested in her idea that that desire for another child was a short-lived phase and also that it was not so much about wanting another child as about wanting to go back in time, to be ten years younger and going through the new mother experience all over again. I think there is something in that; clearly it was true for her and I have a hunch that it's true for other people too. I also think that some of the people who post in this topic on the should I have another baby before it's too late? to give my child a sibling? theme might actually be going through something similar and might find the article gives them food for thought, whether they agree with her views or whether reading those views helps them crystallise their own, very different views.

::whispers::

PS I do think you're a bit delusional. Even though you are young at heart and very lovely, 40s is (demographically speaking) middle-aged. I say this as an old baggage myself.

Well, you know, it's that thing where the next-age-bracket-up is always a few years away from wherever you are currently :o

But - I believe that age-labels, such as "middle-aged", "older", "aged" etc have shifted over the last few decades. People are, in general, living longer, and, again, in general, living better than they were several decades ago. For example, in cave man times, 30 was old. Now, thirty is a reasonably young adult. In the middle of the last century, 40 was definitely middle aged. Now, not so much. Taking out the personal aspect, that I don't feel middle-aged in the least, you still have the fact that most (of course not all) people who are 40-odd are, in general, healthier and fitter and younger than they were decades ago.

In the end, though, I'm not saying that this is fact, only that it's what I believe, which is also no doubt influences by the fact that I live in an area of the world where people are in general relatively fit and healthy. I'm sure I would feel differently if I lived in, say, poverty-stricken areas of India or Africa (extreme example, I know).

Yes, I agree with alal that - the brackets have shifted as life expectancy has risen, but even so I think we need to accept that 40 is towards the middle of the average life span and so literally- middle-aged. What I also think has changed, though, are attitudes and expectations, which probably does mean that 40 year olds now are "younger" in their outlook than 40 year olds of previous generations.

I understand the logic of Maud's POV but I feel that "middle-aged" is more of a state of mind than anything else. I was middle aged in my mid-twenties, courtesy of the plum I was with at the time (boring fart even then) - and haven't got back there yet, despite technically being almost in the category (I take it as over 45 but I'm sure I'll up that to 50!)

My mum was definitely middle-aged in her 40s, but then she had her children pretty young, so we were all late teens/twenties by the time she got there.

My Mom, at 60 this summer, has been and always will be a spring chicken to me. She is the youngest mother among my friends (had only been 22 for 11 days before I was born) and one of the older ones among my siblings' friends (though she was in her late 20s/VERY early 30s when she had them). While her body doesn't let her do what she wants/used to (after two broken arms/shoulders in the last few years she has limited arm mobility compared to what she used to) she is very much young at heart and a big kid.

According to this article, as I start to stare down 40 (38 this summer), I should be craving another. We went to JL in YOUT yesterday and I took TS to the parent & child room to change him. We were, no lie, the oldest two in there of our respective generations. There were four newborns who looked like they had gone straight from YOUT Maternity Hospital to JL for a bout of January sale shopping. They were gorgeous and lovely the newborn learning how to nurse, the newborn having her bottle, the new twins asleep in their seats and I yearned to have a cuddle but hand them back. They looked at my big, chattering toddler who lived his legs when he was supposed to (without being asked), who cuddled me as I pulled up his trousers, etc, like he was a foreign creature. The mums, while all young, looked exhausted and I wanted to tell them it gets better but to just sit there and cuddle their newborns because soon enough they turn into big creatures who cuddle you (which is just as lovely, if not more so, as newborn cuddles IMO). I don't think I'd trade in my running, chattering toddler two for a newly born LittleScout.

A friend of mine used to work in marketing research and she said "0" birthdays never bothered her but birthdays ending in "6" did because it meant you changed research category brackets. I think I'd tend to agree with her. It was startling when I had to start ticking the "36-45" box. ACK!

That's kind of what I was saying, Thumb - there may well be a difference between the age that one actually is (and where in one's biblically-allotted three score years and ten [since extended by modern medicine and improvements in diet and lifestyle] that places one) and the age that one feels. I suspect that cultural trends in the years since the war - and, not least, the power of advertising - have accentuated those differences.

Good points from everyone.
Last morning before having to get up at stupid o'clock for two weeks and when did DH and DS decide to wake up? Yes, early. Grrr.

Well, I'm 48 and was asked the other day if I was 30 yet. Obviously by someone who had forgotten their guide dog! But I don't feel any older than a teenager. Still listen to teenage music, still wear bright colours and love having my wigs in very-blonde, etc. More so since this last year, if anything. Am I middle aged? Yup, but I just enjoy life now.

Hi amber!

Hello everyone else.

I'm grumpy -- it's probably best to steer clear of me for a bit.

ohh scout - thank you for pudding, how did you know that I'd love a slice of toffee lumpy bumpy cake? prefect.

thechocolate one is Ver fine too scout . nom nom nom.

UniS continues to eat her self into a sugar induced stupor in a corner of teh tea room. Don;t mind me.