Tea Room The 24th - San Francisco Painted Lady!

[Tee2072]

Welcome to the 24th incarnation of the One-Child Tea Room. Not that you only have to have one! Just so long as you enjoy chat, tea, coffee, cake!!

The usual rules apply - no bunfighting. If you like that sort of thing, go elsewhere.
Other rules: bring . Or .

Our ongoing voyage take us to one of San Francisco's Painted Ladies!

We've brought the Aga over, it's in the back in the cosy kitchen overlooking the back garden. The chintz sofa is in the front room, under the bow window! All of the pillows and duvets have come along as well!

What's that? The Priest Hole? It's just over there --> behind the bookcase!

Mellors is upstairs, preparing the bedrooms for naps and such.

The aspidistras are thriving as they overlook Nob Hill! The horses have found themselves stabled in the Garden, which is much larger than these places usually are in this city!

So come in and have a seat!

::tea hurries off to Powell Street to catch the Cable Car to Ghirardelli Square::

Ah yes, the jukebox. Put on your dancing shoes for .

Totally agree with Maud. 99.9999999999999% of the population are perfectly normal no more odd than you or me and certainly not potential abusers. Now every parent has been categorised as a potential threat. I think that this may be peculiarly Anglo-Saxon, as I have a German friend with primary-aged children who is bemused and offended by this attitude. It is the kind of tabloid attitude that is certainly not desirable for GardenGirl. Would she fancy flouncing off to find something more friendly?

Maud and UniS. I think that part of the problem is the very skewed assessment of perceived risk. The fact that anything relatively uncommon (and shocking) is reported in the news makes us over-aware of it (I am not trying to dismiss Safeguarding concerns, but thinking about how people feel about risk). Whereas the much greater risk of death/injury on the road is felt to be "normal" and not so shocking - so it is reported much less, and often only locally. This skews our perceptions. Then we guard overzealously against the wrong things....

By the way - on another subject completely. Easter Egg etiquette advice is needed. The YD usually ends up with about 6 Easter eggs from various relatives. I grew up in a universe where only the parents bought Easter eggs, so this seems excessive and silly to me.

However DH seems to think that we should buy an Easter egg for Peter's cousin - whom we will not even see at Easter, and got quite huffy when I suggested that perhaps exchanging Easter eggs with all and sundry (slight exaggeration) was a bit unnecessary...

Sorry for that very quick response. A certain small boy was being difficult and this is one of my hot buttons.

So to elaborate:

If the only reason they are asking you to stop watching is because they are worried about a "pervert", then you have every right to be angry. It's absurd. And if they are that worried then they need to provide changing rooms.

Nothing angers me more than this attitude that every grown up is a potential molester just because they are a grown up. CRB checks are out of control and basically useless anyway because all they prove is you haven't been caught if you are a "pervert". It's nothing but media over-hype and instant news spreading this bullshit. The stats actually show there have been less crimes against children in the last 20 years than ever before.

If it's to not disrupt class, fair enough. Then they should do a 'visit' class as Unis said.

(Not that my theoretical wafflings are actually any use...)

Thank you for that bracing international comparison, Serpent. Trouble is, I really need Girl to do this class, because it fits with my working hours and I can't easily change. Ugh.

That's exactly what I believe, Donki - a few horrible cases, sensationally reported, have distorted the perception of comparative risk.

Just seen Tee's comments too. I agree completely - and also think that this sort of hyper-vigilance does children a disservice, because their lives become so constrained that they are actually less able to cope with the wider world.

We don't buy easter eggs for anyone else Donki - I don't see the point tbh.

Am watching a programme on british cheese atm. I am now craving a big plate of cheese . So anyone for cheese and pineapple on sticks with twiglet garnish ?

MmmmmmmStilton!
(But not with pineapple thanks)

And a nice strong farmhouse Cheddar

And some crumbly Wensleydale with fruitcake.

And a lovely bit of something soft and creamy with the pineapple

(can you tell I like cheese? )

I quite like cheese, too. We make a kind of sharp soft cheese whenever we have milk that has gone off. I love feta with salads, and various crumbly English cheeses like Cheshire and the best cheese I ever had was a very soft young cheese we used to buy in the market when I lived in Cordoba, which has the texture and taste of hard-boiled eggs ...

I seem to post only when I want to moan, so I just thought I'd mention that I have had a lovely evening. M.Snake was happy and friendly and chatty - he has just had a very nasty shock at work which he may or may not have survived, but I think that he is very relieved that he is still there this week, at least - and we had a very pleasant hour or so between my getting home from my work and his leaving for his work. Then, unbelievably, I found I had nothing to do apart from a bit of light animal feeding. I didn't feel like cooking and found some rather good soup in the freezer, decided not to wash the floors or hoover and had time to do some gloss painting in the kitchen while Wriggle watched DVDs with her friend. Usually the hoovering, tidying, etc, screams at me and I have to do it, but today - nothing. I didn't care. I think that I feel superstitiously that if I mention enjoying myself, something will happen to spoil it. But I really do moan far too much.

((Crosses fingers, tosses salt over shoulder and spits in the corner))

UniS, I wish there were some DWJ books I hadn't read.

Is there any cheese and pineapple left, with or without twiglet garnish?

::hungry and hopeful::

cheese pineapple and twiglets coming right up.

Now, where IS DH.

Thank you.

Have you had any clues? Is he wending his way back from a conference or the like?

I like Lincolnshire Poacher. We eat reams of cheese.

Maud - I think the "pervert" message is unhelpful and bespeaks a fearfulness on the part of the class organisers that is far from promising. I bet sufficient numbers of other parents would think it bonkers to help you mount a concerted "sensible attack" non?

Lincolnshire Poacher? Isn't that a dance? (Must ask UniS)

Oxeye - I kind of hope you're right but, as this is the school, I fear I'd get nowhere, because they would do that School Thing of shaking their heads and saying that they have to do it in the interests of child protection, thereby (falsely) putting me in the position of someone who would jeopardise the children's security. Ah well.

but cannot you ask them what the mean by child protection and ask them to indicate to you how they have assessed the risk, what they consider the risk to be, what level of risk they consider is faced, what they have done to minimise that risk and how they have balanced that against their obligations to provide the children and the parents with a healthy, balanced and sensible environment?

Or do I just have too straightforward an approach?

I fear you do, Oxeye! Perhaps I am being defeatist, but I think they would say loftily that their only concern is the children's well-being, thereby implying that I am a deluded ninny for objecting.

'Tis late. I must get to bed.

::waves and blows kisses at anyone still awake::

Morning all.

I have a feeling LCT's school is often going to think I'm a deluded ninny as I agree with oxeye. But I don't really care if they do as I think they are the deluded ones in this case!

I'm also a bad mummy as today is daycare day for LCT and I am really looking forward to it.

::places American pancakes, American sausages, American bacon and real Vermont maple syrup on side board. With gallons of coffee, tea and hot chocolate::

Splendid breakfast!

::hides the last of Donki's hay that she was nibbling overnight::

Actually the government tend not to give a fig what happens to the children when there are actual real predators about... which is why they're intending to cancel the CRB checks for those helping at junior church where we know that such people really do target the children from time to time.

Nor do they give much of a fig what happens to vulnerable adults, (which is why the CRB told me that it's entirely up to organisations whether they bother to implement vulnerable adult policies or investigate abuses, and they really neither check nor care nor work towards anything that might encourage sensible behaviour from those organisations).

Portraying all parents and helpers as monsters certainly is the least useful thing possible, but that seems to be their attitude. Not a lot different to papers and government portraying all tax payers as potential nasty tax-dodgers, or all motorists as people who are deliberately trying to kill everyone by doing 32 mph on a completely empty 30-zone road. Society treats everyone as a suspect/potential murderer/thief/pervert these days, and so people think "might as well behave like one then", I imagine.

Should children be safe? Yup. Does treating all adults as perverts help this? Nope.

Late to this but it does seem to be a bit overkill. Perhaps (God forbid!) one of the dads was watching the dancing? eek!
I think it is a bit mad, but why are they just in vest and pants? Why not make them wear shorts and solve the perving issue (even if there was one?)

Although if it were about disruption, I'd agree with it, I'm afraid - there are some very noisy parents at DS's dance classes who sit along the side of the hall and chat and shriek at top volume during the class. I don't think it affects the teacher too much because we sit under a kind of balcony thing, the ceiling of the dancing area is much higher. But still - bloody rude.

Scout - I don't know, I'd call it a drink bottle. Not even sure if it qualifies for that most loathsome title "sippy cup" [blech]. Not sure that's very helpful of me though.

oxeye - I think probably I was in Oxford some time after you - although I worked there from 1989-1994, I only lived in Oxford from '91-'94.

serpent - sorry to hear that M. Snake had a nasty shock at work - hope nothing long-lasting! and pleased to hear that he is being nice to you as well. :)

amber - did you find the definition of rest in the dictionary? . Bad that there are still organisations who see no need to protect the vulnerable, very bad indeed.

Am a bit :( today. Had a lot of unscheduled bleeding. Boo. was hoping to have a happy announcement mid-next week, but sadly no. Moving on...

Oh Thumb, I'm so sorry

Adding hugs for you TW...heck and blast and eeek. Sit down. Can we bring you something??

Aw Thumb :( so sorry :(

Thank you lovely friends.
Amber, I'll take a bag of stamina and chin-upness, thank you muchly.