Tea Room the Twentieth: The Greek Island

[asmallbunchofflowers]

Welcome to the twentieth (yes, really) Tea Room.

We find ourselves on a sun-kissed Greek island, where our whitewashed, blue-shuttered house nestles in the dappled shade of a gnarled old pine tree. In the olive grove, Mellors the gardener/handyman/factotum is tending the tea room menagerie of horses, camels, bison and guinea-pigs, recently joined by some recalcitrant old donkeys. The distressed chintz sofa, aga and cardboard cut-out of George Clooney have survived the relocation from the south of France and the aspidistra has pride of place on the mantelpiece.

Come in, put your feet up and join in the conversation. It may not make sense, but that's not important. What matters is the lovely people here and the chance simply to relax.

Eeek. Can't really talk about this because I'm already anxious about secondary schools and I don't want to feed my own anxiety. SmallBloke and I both went to highly selective schools on scholarships. The only way in which we could obtain a similar education for SmallGirl is by paying for it, and our nearest independent schools are the internationally-famous stratospheric-fees type of joint.

UniS - as an added thought, it does rather depend on what school will best suit your child. My parents wanted to stretch me, because I had/have a good brain but am desperately lazy - so they wanted me to go to the private school because it had a good academic record. If I had gone to a state secondary, chances are I wouldn't have achieved anything like as much as I did - and I wouldn't have had the opportunities I did either.
My sibs went to the nearest co-ed state secondary and came out with very poor results - possibly related to their abilities but I strongly believe they could have done better at a better school that pushed them harder, just as I believe I would have done a lot worse at a slack school like theirs.

My best friend also went to said state secondary - and the best measure I can think of to tell you is that she was revising stuff for her French CSE (as it was back then) that we had covered in second year at our school - so she was 3 years behind us, effectively.

DH would have done better at a school that had better sports facilities and less emphasis on Churchy things.

So it's horses for courses really - you will have to look at what Boy needs when you get near that point and decide accordingly.

I started at a Catholic Elementary when we lived in the city, because it was better than the public school, which was across the street and where I would have had to go. When we moved to the 'burbs Mom & Dad made the assumption (incorrectly) that the situation was the same, so I went to the local Catholic School. By the time high school came around I was so "ingrained" that switching to the public school would have proven to be a great challenge, so I went to the Catholic high school that my elementary school fed into. My brother and sister, however, went through the local public system for elementary, middle and high schools. I believe they got the better education -- and I speak as someone significantly older than her siblings so saw what they were doing in school long after I was that age. In the States faith schools, as well as private ones, are fee paying and therefore supposed to be "better." MrScout went to his local state schools, faith (CofE) and non-faith. We are planning (as I mentioned on the other site) on home educating BabyScout through, at least, Primary. We will re-evaluate the situation in Primary and decide from there. We'd like to send BabyScout private but it's cost-prohibitive. And where we are the schools are crap. Even the so-called "good" school/s (including the Catholic school and faith-based ones) aren't good. Last year the local college had several (many) hundreds of students in the "graduating" year and only a couple dozen went on to higher education (read: university) and none of the universities were particularly impressive (they published a list in our local paper).

In an ideal world I would home educate for a few years and then private. We are hoping that having an only means being able to afford private. I do feel guilty being a state teacher, but it is different with your own.

We won't be ablt to home ed, ut hope to be able to go private.

Amber, the Mafia has joined us?
If so, did they bring spaghetti or any other type of Italian food? (It's lunch time here.)

Re: schools, we've just registered Jackbaby at the private Montessori school close to our office (about a 20 min drive from our home). There is a very good elementary school literally around the corner, but DH and I are both very concerned about the quality of public (state) vs private schools. I did well in secondary school but was terrifically bored (as evidenced by the fact that I read novels under my desk... for which I was busted on a few occasions... which prompted the school secretary to say "for such a good girl, you certainly spend a lot of time in after-school detention!" LOL.). DH also did well but basically didn't go to school except to sit exams and submit essays. His mum didn't make him actually go to school as long as he kept up with the course material. I suppose it could be argued that this was a very early form of home-schooling but as she was working full-time, not really! (Obviously I really disapprove that she did this... not that it matters now...)
Anyway, Jackbaby already shows signs of being fairly intelligent, and he really has his own way of looking at things, so we thought a Montessori school, which encourages independence and life-skills, etc, would be a good choice.

On another subject, UnSerpent, I was thinking about Wriggle and her anxiety over being lost when I couldn't sleep last night. And I had a couple of thoughts. Feel free to disregard if useless advice, but have you ever heard of/ tried Bach Flower Remedies? There are about a hundred different ones, and they're quite specific. I don't know which one would be appropriate for separation anxiety, but I bet if you Googled them, you could find one. The other thought I had was that we will soon be having an EFT practitioner join our office - Emotional Freedom Technique. It's a very gentle form of psychotherapy, and can be used wit children. It could all be a bunch of hooey, but who knows. She's giving me a complimentary session next week, and I know she has some experience with children. And she's originally from the U.K. So if you like, I can ask her if she could recommend you a book on it. She does offer complimentary 30-min telephone sessions - I don't know if she'd be able to do a transatlantic one, but it doesn't hurt to ask. Her web site, if you're interested, is Annabel Fisher's EFT Healing Centre.

ummm, twiglets. Unis munches happily.

Blimey, you lot are more pro private school that I expected. And A lot of you were educated in a selective school of one kind or another. Making me realise that I am actually pretty pro state school. Interesting.

BUT let not that come between us.

Unis adds very yummy crisps to teh snack table.

Oh, and Scout - my parcel arrived yesterday!!! Thank you so much!! I had the hardest time ever not to eat an entire huge bar of Galaxy all at once. I think I had about a fifth of one (which is still a lot) before tucking it safely out of sight and reach of Jackbaby and DH the way. :o
And I love the socks! I'm wearing the "barking mad" ones today and have had several amused comments :). Thank you so much! I was so exhausted and run down yesterday and you cheered me up no end. xxxxxxxxxx

UniS - I am pro state school. My dilemma, though, is that the sort of education I received at the state's expense (and which would suit SmallGirl as she is, in Molesworth's words, a Grate Brane) is no longer provided by the state except in areas with grammar schools. The only thing I know for sure is that I won't be home-educating!

Maybe I'm not worried about it because Dh and I both had pretty good academic educations in bog standard comp ( Dh ) and london CoE comp (me).

in a grammar area I'd have sunk I fear , since at 11 I was an undiagnosed dyslexic duffer with illegible hand writing and low self esteem .Wouldn't have passed the common entrance exam either i guess. yet 5 years later came out with 9 decent GCSEs ( 1 in a subject that none of local girls private schools offered)and went on to combine A levels and work. Dh did maths O level a year early and then did another 8 before hitting sixth form college and then university and yet more university.

I need to hear more stories like that, UniS!

Unis - My dh went to a French Catholic school and I went to a countryside comprehensive.

Milk goes to a central Paris French bilingual school (French state school that we pay a 'top up fee' for the English teachers who give daily English lessons). My DH wants milk to go to a French Catholic school for secondary . Ideally I would like her to go to a good British state school...

Scout - Would you ever consider moving out of your dearest Dreamsville for more interesting educational ops?

I went to a "bog standard" comp in a deprived (high free school meals) small mining town. It managed its extremely mixed intake well, and had a large (for the period) sixth form.

So I am generally happy with State Education. The local primaries are very good, and the nearest state school has an excellent reputation although I feel it is too large and a bit of a sausage factory. It does get very good results, and usually sends a couple of students off to Oxbridge. It has (boo hiss) just become an Academy.

If things have changed drastically by the time the Young Donk is due to go there, or if he really doesn't settle there, then I might consider private as an option - if other state schools did not look like a good choice.

Do you think I could stay the night?

The gas man never came....

And what school is going to say if I ask for another day off I do not know.

Ooops SmallBunch - I misread that as saying that SmallGirl was a Grate Bane, and wondered what she had done to upset you....

Well, she is sometimes, Donki!

Have a carrot.

Thankyou SB - all my carrots have frost bite :(

JB -- YAY on package success!! I was thinking yesterday "I bet JB's package arrives on her doorstep today." Give me a shout if you want/need more choccies. Also glad it sounds like the socks weren't too quirky/weird. I was aiming for silly and fun.

Donki -- Can I take you some thermals and a flask of something hot?

I'm pro-state education if it's a good education. At home BabyScout would probably go through the local school district. In fact, the area I grew up in has a lot of good public schools (state schools here). It's that neither of us like the schools here in our area.

Yes, Tea, we would move if we could. But part of the problem is we get so much more house for our pound then if we were to move elsewhere. Heck, even moving six miles closer to ye old university town, to the village where I do Guides (which is on the main road between here and town), would triple our mortgage for a smaller house. Same goes for if we go a few miles in any other direction. And with me being a SAHM we need to prioritize/shift outflow. We want me to stay at home while BabyScout is small. So we'll stay here for a bit longer.

oh donki, you poor thing. here have a duvet and some more hay. Of course you may snuggle up here till the gas man cometh. Carrot cake??

I had to break teh ice on teh birds water 3 times today. And I still don't know if the little blighters are actually using it. Boy admitted half way to preschool, that actually mummy my feet are cold and may I have another pair of socks on the way home, and a 2nd pair of gloves too.

Tomorrow he wants to go to toddlers! I think it may be a nostalgia visit now hes realised he goes to school very soon and won't be able to go to toddlers and play with their sit n ride quad bike any more, he has spent teh last 6 months telling me he is now too old for toddlers , even tho I'd would have liked to carry on going for teh company, tea and biscuits.

umm, unis wonders if this is how she has managed to loose ( a small amount of) weight in last couple of months, not quite so many toddler group biscuits.

Have asked DH - he also went to private Catholic primary school, which was a good one(unlike the high school). Apparently all faith schools in Australia are private as well.

There are still good state schools at both levels in the UK - problem is, they are so heavily subscribed that it's a serious lottery trying to get into them these days (damn those league tables!).
If it were me, which it will be in a few years' time, I would be looking at asking about
a) bullying policy
b) do they punish/discriminate for non-100% attendance
c) range of extra-curricular activities available
d) music facilities
I'm not too bothered about the basics (is that bad?) but I think it's such a huge part of a child's life at that time, they have to feel happy and safe and not discriminated against wherever possible.
But perhaps I'm living in la-la land!

Thinking about education, much depends also on whether it's stuff a child can use.

Like I said, I went through a Grammar school. I even got decent O and A levels. Logically that should have equipped me to go to University, make a success of my life etc...but nope. Once they realised I didn't have the skills to go to Uni, they handed me a book on how to be a secretary and wrote me off. I ended up without a single useful social life skill, cast adrift in a sea of sharks in the world of business. Result - nervous breakdown. Not one jot of those 7 years of knowledge helped me achieve a thing or make a single friendship, because they forgot to test for, and train for, the absolute basics that every child needs - the ability to communicate effectively with others.

A very very 'good' school can be less use to a child's future than an inflatable dartboard, if it doesn't teach them the skills they're actually missing.

amber - I am ashamed. Your post is completely right - that is exactly what a school should do - teach children the skills they need. I am that I forgot to include that in my list.

In Germany, apparently, they have a 3 tier secondary school system - they have the top tier for the academics, which I believe are called Gymnasium schools (no I don't know why) and then the next level down is for less academic professions, and the last level is more directed at people who need to learn a trade because they aren't academic. Seems a much better system to me - teaches pupils skills to get jobs and get through life successfully, regardless of their academic abilities.

Yes, Thumb, but to what extent does the German system limit people's options or expectations by (for example) labelling 11 year olds as having low potential? What about late developers, who might (say) be capable of being doctors but have been assigned to the non-academic route? It's the same as the arguments for and against grammar schools.

I genuinely don't know the answer, but the question intrigues me.