i was mad at my child`s nursery because...

[ladyjeje]

we are vegeterian.almost every day some child would bring some sweets for every child to have when he goes home.most of the time it contains animal gelatin.
last week i told the administrator that dd doesnt have gelatin. today they gave all the kids sweets and let her cry.she felt excluded from the rest,shes only 3.i was mad, asked them to give her one,i didnt talk to them because i was so mad i thought i wont sound logical.im thinking about buying a bag of suitable for vegeterian sweets and leave it in the nursery for her. but they didnt act right,they were not attentive to her feelings.
what do you think?

I think it is more than the house rules for me.
It is about how we treat the world around us.
So I am hoepfully teaching my children some respect for animals, and the world around them.
They will be allowed to maek their choices as time goes by.
Initially I didn't buy meat to have in the house- i've never cooked meat and haven't eaten it for 25yrs so it seemd a bit mad to suddenly start bringing in meat at the point that i had a 6 month old child.

So as they are little, I jsut said " we don't eat met"
as they got older- and now ds1 is 5.5yrs old I say "i don't eat meat, but if you want to try it then you can. let me know what you think, pleanty of your friends eat it and you can dcide what you want to do"

And he says he doesn't want to- sometimes he says "yet", someimtes he says never.

We have had a few hiccups along the way- he does end up with sweets with gelatine sometimes if people forgetor don't realise.

but it is importnat for kids to realise that they have bigger social and ethical responsibities and the world is bigger than them.

and for me, this is a big part of it and i expect people to respect that. as i have big respect for a no tv family!

But I think it is different with older children as you can explain why, and when you can ensure they are not left out by offering alternatives, or them taking their own. So wronging them is possibly the wrong term.

I think with social responsibility you have to set a good example, and lead your life in a consistent manner, and show them how it is done. Dh cycles to work, I walk the children to school and preschool most days at least unless we need to bring in something bulky or heavy (whatever that may be). I bake breads, we pick fruits, make jams and desserts, and I am hoping that this is setting an example of a wholesome lifestyle.

From the perspective of a carnivore, I think gelatine is possibly one of the items hardest to restrict outside the home? Some non vegetarians may even put beefstock vegetable soups (I know I used to)

Showing a social responsibility is tricky, I am often stumped by fairtrade, the carbon footprint, local produce, organic or not, sustainable farming, and admittedly I cant work out what the best options are....

In my own experience, and circumstance, I could not have waited until they understood to tell them they could not have meat if it is not halal, or sweets if they contain gelatine. They did understand at a very young age though and always ask if they are not sure.

I think I might have worked out a good solution regarding social responsability , do your best all the time, recycle as much as possible, eat fairtrade,organic or local when you can afford it and raise your children the way you are comfortable with! As we all have different standards on common values, there is room to accomodate more than one way of life, as long as it is respectful of others.

so, should I have gievne meat and then taken it away?

I don't buy the stuff, i don't cook the stuff, what elese am i supposed to do?

your houses sound fab btw!

it's the debate that is interesting, though.
There's no simple answer with the ethical stuff, really.
But i have always felt that i don't want to patronise my kids and i talk stuff through with them on whatever level we can.

So my 3 yr old doesm't have much debate in the matter- and it's quite easy unless other people start giving my kids food that they don't eat.

The 5yr old is fascinating and he asks al soprts of sensible and not so sensible questions about how to think about stuff.

i think it is incredibly blinkered to have RULES that aren't negotiated and discussed. And as the kids grow then maybe they will decide to eat meat and then they will learn to shoot, skin. cook and eats meat
well, not in north london...anyway

maybe we shoudl bring the lunch trhead and this thread together into a meaga veggie kids thread

Well, OP, your inconsistent and poor communication to the staff has created this situation. I really don't understand why you are upset. If you want your child to eat something similar to what the other children are eating so she does not feel left out, then provide it yourself.

Nursery teachers are damned if they do and damned if they don't with some parents.

a classic example of a fussy parent
i remember one nursery where i worked and there were thre children from the same family who were not allowed to eat meat, fish or gelatin(strict vegetarians)ans also bananas, raisins, chocolate,sweets and anything else with added sugar for fear of damaging their pearly whites

the problem this obsessiveness started was
1.the children were given bland boring food they would not eat

1. could not enjoy birthday celebrations, puddings etc

3.they were just left out in general.

mum and dad would not provide alternative snacks and insisted the children had natural yoghurt or fruit(did not seem obsessive about fresh fruit sugars) for pudding instead.

its important to not restrict a childs diet too much, because thats boring and you dont really want your child being known as the "carrot kid" of the nursery(every nursery seems to have one)

whats the big deal with having some sweets that contain gelatin??as a previous reviewer said,its not as though it will wipe out a herd of cows and your child will be happy and not left out

i just want to clarify one thing-
by using the term "carrot kid" i mean a child who cannot have sweets, sugar etc as treats. its not a bad term for you being vegetarian. i am vegetarian also

MuppetsMuggle: Surely you shouldnt have to provide snack because DD cant have bananas!! the nursery must have alternatives
And any way they shouldnt even have bananas in the room if she is allergic

Other children are bringing in sweets to give out... the nursery is no providing the sweets...you need to provdie some suitable sweets for the nursery to give out in these suitations I am afraid.

We have children with allergies at the school I work at who can't have cakes other children send in...sone parents are senistive snd send in alterntives but I tell the parents of the child with an alleergy they need to provide me with an altnertive of their child will get nothing.