i was mad at my child`s nursery because...

[ladyjeje]

we are vegeterian.almost every day some child would bring some sweets for every child to have when he goes home.most of the time it contains animal gelatin.
last week i told the administrator that dd doesnt have gelatin. today they gave all the kids sweets and let her cry.she felt excluded from the rest,shes only 3.i was mad, asked them to give her one,i didnt talk to them because i was so mad i thought i wont sound logical.im thinking about buying a bag of suitable for vegeterian sweets and leave it in the nursery for her. but they didnt act right,they were not attentive to her feelings.
what do you think?

I second alardi, I am a "halal" paren.

My dcs have from the strat been drilled about no sweet with gelatin. When they where too little to read labels themselves they would ask if something contained gelatine or if it was suitable for vegeterians.

When DD1 was 2 1/2 she was offered a banana at a friends house and she asked if it was suitable for vegetarians, bless her.

In school when children bring sweets that my DCs can't have there have ben several occasions where teachers have just given them a biscuit from the staff room instead but anyway, even when they do not get given anything ( I repeat teachers just do it out of kindness, I never asked for them to) my Dcs know they will get something else at home and have never complained about it!

Edam, exactly.
I'm fnding it a bit irritating that you feel yiur opinion on the gelatine is the one the OP MUST have, due to leather footwear, piscesmoon.
It all seems quite antagonistic.

I've tried to explain that different people have different points of view and they don't haveto all share yours.
i've tried to explain that for me personally, not having eaten meat for 20yrs, I found it hard to put meat into my children's mouths. and i've tried to show that there are some weets that contain animal products, some not...
and all we get back is the same, "It's no big deal".

Which bit of any of that is too complicated to understand?

It may be that the OP is similar to me, maybe not, but I'm sure most right minded people believe that she is allowed her opinion-
and this thread is a good one to explain to her that she was being a bit daft not to come up with the alternative- because nurseries are busy and most people don't need to kknow what is in the sweets.

I am not being antagonistic! If OP feels very strongly about it then she needs to sort out the alternatives. I was just pointing out that if you are a vegetarian, for ethical reasons about animal welfare it seems a bit odd that the DD would be wearing leather shoes every day but worrying about a few little sweets once a year. OP hasn't said what she was wearing on her feet so it isn't very relevant.
The main point is that it had nothing to do with the nursery and so OP needs to work out which is the most important, her DC eating gelatine or getting upset. Only she can say, ans only she can come up with a solution. It is nothing to do with nursery staff.

it seems odd to you.. but maybe not to anyone else..

AGREE RE THE END POINT, WHOCH IS THE POINT I WAS TRYING TO MAKE ALL ALONG.

I JUST THIK THAT YOU NEED TO UNDERSATAND ALL PEOPLE DON'T AHVE TO THINK THE SAME AS YOU AND THERE MAY EB A SIMPLE ANSWER RE THE LEATHER VS ACTUALLY ASSIMILATING THE MEAT.

I PERSONALLY HAVE WORKED IN FARMING AND IN ABBOATOIRS AND HAVE HAS AN INTIMATE UNDERSTADNING OF THE MEAT INDUSTRY .
WHOCH IS WHY I DON'T GET INVOLVED.

OVER THE YEARS MY INE HAS SLIPPED A BIT AND MILK AND LEATHER ARE INVOLVED IN MY LIFE.
BUT I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT IT- AND DON'T REALLY NEED YOUR APPORVAL/DISCUSSION.
JUST RESPECT THAT I HAVE AN OPINION THAT IS DIFFERENT FROM YOUR AND MAY NOT MAKE SENSE TO YOU ON FIRST EXAMINATION.

oh, bum, didn't mean to shout

and there's no explination fo why the op is a veggie- not that it is an animal welfare issue.
And no notes re footwear.
You've just made a whole load of assumptions.

Sorry if my remarks are upsetting you-the question really involves the nursery's involvement-not the diet.
My view is that the OP is a vegetarian and so has decided that her DC will follow- I would imagine that anyone would do the same. When her DD gets older she may decide that she isn't going to be a vegetarian, she may become a vegan, we don't know and in the meantime I don't think a few jelly sweets really matter. I accept this is a personal view and OP may feel completely differently about it. If the nursery were giving out the jelly sweets it would be their responsibility to take OP views into account and get an alternative but the sweets are nothing to do with them so it is OP's responsibility.

That's ok.
I#, feeling pretty raw just now- but that's a whole other story.
I'm on some meds that seems to be sending my mood a bit haywire

I#ve Jad a couple of "somebody on the internet is WRONG" moments and am probably being a bit of a rottweiler about the whole thing.

Agree re the nursery involvement. i had the same experience. i really really wasn't ecpevting my kids to be given food that i had specifically said NO to on all the forms.

i was very very cross for a while. nursery ahd the opinion of "it's only a bit" too.
and it was very annoying- they took my choice away and it upset me alot.
The froms clearly sadi NO meat products.
I was annoyed at the other parents too for not thinking it through.

Anwya, i soon realised thatthe ball was in my court and i sorted it out.

i still feel sad for the little girl, she was crying and the nursery ahd nothing to give her.

If it was up to me then i#d ban all sweets and cakes and stuff that is just handed out at nursery.

Anyway, ranting again.Glad we've got to a more sensible place about it all.

i will admit now that i was annoyed at the other parents, but also realsied that they didn't specifically have to care aboout my child's diet t all.
as it didb't seem to matter to them what was in the sweets they were giving their kids, i couldn't expect that they suddenly think that my position would matter too.
Life just doesn't work like that

so we jsut side stepped it all and did swaps.

it's hard, but life wasn;t supposed to be easy - i don;t think.

Life would be so much easier if the thought- first do no harm dectates what we do as a society.
So my kids aren't put in a position that we have to ahev complicated interactions explaining why the sweets are not appropriate in fromt of the toehr kids whoo then start to wonder if they actually watn the sweets... and then the parents start raising eyebrows.

Why cant kids sweets be veggie so nobody need to maek a choise. If you want meat you go and get a piece of meat and eat it... not take it in by sneaky back door methods

Surely a nursery should not be giving out sweets in the first place? At ours, when children bring in sweets they go into their bag to bring home so that the parent can decide whether or not to give it to them. Saves any upset.

All those saying that gelatine doesn't matter, isn't that how CJD was transmitted?

hmmm, not sure re the CJD, it was through brain tissue, not tendons and stuff i believe

Actually, there is no evidence to show BSE was transmitted byt bones/skin/intestines, so gelatine is ok.

(well on the tramsission of disease level anyway)

Ladyjeje, how did you think your child would react in these circumstances, when you instructed the nursery not to give her sweets brought in by other children to be shared? Did you give them instructions on what to do for her, alternative treats etc? No you did not. So your child cried because you were thoughtless, and you blame the nursery staff.

Very reasonable behaviour

ladyjeje, think this thread has helped you clarify your thoughts on the subject, well done for being good natured about everyone jumping down your throat. Vege sweets aren't that hard to come by, and I think it's very unreasonable of the nursery not to have told her why she couldn't have had one.
Good luck in dealing with this sort of thing in the future.

I agree that it would be simpler if people didn't bring them in, but I don't think you will stop it. The DCs actually love to hand them out and it spoils the fun if they don't get chance to do it.

letting her have her own sweets might work but I know if it were my ds's they'd want to have the same as everyone else!

Chipmonkey, it was never an issue in our family ( we do not eat gelatine for religious reasons) As long as the chldren are explained the reasons why they sometimes have to have differents sweets than the other children, they do not really mind. All they care about is having a sweet !

See, this is what happens when pushing little children to following adults beliefs, that they have no way of comprehending.

You created this situation for your LO. Inadvertedly, YOU made her cry.

nice post on our lovely supportive website

I apologize. I was OTT. I was just upset about the thought of a little child left out.

By telling your child they can have any food they want, you are also asking them to follow your beliefs as well are you not Fanny?

Hi,

I'm new on here so bear with me! I think the best thing would have been to give her an alternative when they were dishing sweets out to the kids, to give her something she could have so as not to make her feel left out. Or as you say, take something in for her for snack time.

Hi, AllyBongo26 (love your name BTW, brings me back to childhood magic!) You are doing very well for a beguinner, usually we get flamed!

Yes. And my belief is No TV (we dont have one through choice), no nintendo ds other than for half an hour after dinner weekdays, an no fizzy drinks, and no jelly sweets. (They can have good quality chocolate )

But I cant restrict what others do at home, or in preschool or school. This means they may be subjected to tv, bad quality chocolate or fizzy drinks outside the home.

So they only follow our rules at home. I cant insist on my rules being followed elsewhere, as this means that MY child will be singled out, left out, and inevitably sad, for no other reason than my personal beliefs. I think that is wrong on behalf of my children.

I see we share quite a few beliefs Fanny.

FWIW, I did not once feel that my dcs where left out because they can't eat certain foods nor did they ever tell me they felt left out. I understand what you mean but desagree that I am in some ways wronging them.