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Original poster

Guess who was holding my baby when I went to collect him...

180 replies

Washersaurus · 04/09/2008 14:06

The nursery chef ! He has been sat in the room before when I have been to collect DS2 from nursery, but today he was actually holding DS2 when I arrived. I'm not very happy about it tbh (he smokes aswell), how do I go about raising it with the nursery manager without upsetting everyone?

OP posts:
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mother2two · 04/09/2008 15:57

I would enquire whether there is a staffing problem. I would ask whether the chef was a chef or a nursery nurse or a nursery nurse that happens to be a chef. Which is it?

His appearance and smoking habit outside nursery time are irrelevant. His training and qualification(s), experience and CRB status and references are relevant.

I would tell the manager that you are flattered that the chef has taking a liking to your son, but in the final analysis, you would like your son to be looked after and be engaged by someone who is suppose to know what they are doing and have some knowledge of the EYFS.

The response would determinate whether I started to look for another nursery with the aim of moving my son or staying put at that nursery.

Original poster
Washersaurus · 04/09/2008 15:58

Actually I am a SAHM and I do avoid smokers !

OP posts:
mother2two · 04/09/2008 15:58

I meant determine.

chapstickchick · 04/09/2008 15:59

twims.....CACHE DCE (NNEB equivelant

sorry but i dont agree that the cache dce is an NNEB equivalent.

chapstickchick · 04/09/2008 16:00

washer but you cnt dictate to people in shopping centres and supermarkets who will coo over your bby with 20 silk cut in their pockets .....

mother2two · 04/09/2008 16:02

And his character and temperament. Try to find out more about the situation and set up. If you jump right in, all guns blazing at the manager you may end up looking like a fool if you do not know the full facts.

Original poster
Washersaurus · 04/09/2008 16:02

but I wouldn't hand him over for a cuddle..

OP posts:
NamechangersRule · 04/09/2008 16:03

IMO I didnt became 'ferious' till after washer impiled I didnt give two hoots about who looked after my dd.

FAQ · 04/09/2008 16:03

how odd!!

Will you complain when you baby starts school if the school receptionist is looking after them for a while - they're not qualified to work with children either you know - they're secretaries......

MadameCastafiore · 04/09/2008 16:04

Oooohhhh does it mean I am shallow if I thought you were going to say someone exciting like Brad Pitt?

FAQ · 04/09/2008 16:06

as for the restaraunt/trained chef anology - I had an amazing Italian Meal at a restaurant last Saturday night - my DP happens to have met the chef before and he came out (with the manager) and sat and had some drinks with us - it turns out he has had no "formal" traning to be a chef - he's done all the training to make him safe to work in that environment (H&S etc) but has never been trained to cook......

NamechangersRule · 04/09/2008 16:08

FAQ - You mean you actually sat at the same table as a chef! He didn't touch you or your dc did he? God Forbid!

FAQ · 04/09/2008 16:11

yes the chef even came out to serve us (instead of the waiter as soon as he spotted DP.

Thankfully my DC were with exh so he didn't touch them - though both he and the manager said that I should go back therefor coffee in the day with my DC as they are child friendly (and having walked past it daily for about 6yrs I've always thought it looked remarkably unchildfriendly )

PoorOldEnid · 04/09/2008 16:11

oh this is stupid

a) I'd be worried that there was a staffing problem
b) I wouldn't be happy with anyone that I hadn't met holding my child just because they fancied a cuddle
c) my BIL is a chef. They are complete wankers on the whole so not quite sure where this deifying of chefs has come from.

NamechangersRule · 04/09/2008 16:14

FAQ

mother2two · 04/09/2008 16:22

I've just learnt a new word - deify - treat or worship as a God.

Good grief, I need to get back into paid employment now and log off.

georgimama · 04/09/2008 16:41

"I wouldn't be happy with anyone that I hadn't met holding my child just because they fancied a cuddle".

We don't know that he was holding her child "because he fancied a cuddle - perhaps the child was distressed and the key worker was attending to someone else at the time? So, being composed of human parts, the chef, who happened to be in the room , picked her up? Who knows? If the OP is that upset she needs to ask the manager about it.

Obviously I do not take adequate concern about who my son interacts with. I assume that as the nursery he attends has been going since 1978 and is rated excellent by OFSTED they know their business and can make their own resourcing decisions. I haven't been personally introduced to every member of staff and I wouldn't expect to be.

deepinlaundry · 04/09/2008 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PInkyminkyohnooo · 04/09/2008 16:49

Mine don't go to nursery, but we do tumbletots at one and the kithchen opens onto the room we use The children love talking to him. I don't see what the problem is. The dinner ladies at our primary school were very cuddly and approachable at our school, much more so than the teachers.

wannaBe · 04/09/2008 16:52

tbh, when you place your children in the care of others, you are never fully in control of who they come into contact with. And before I get jumped on for putting down working mothers, I mean this throughout our children's lives. Even when we send them to school they will come into contact with people that we are unaware of, a supply teacher for instance will not be introduced to every parent before he/she joins the class for the day, the child will come home and tell you they've had a different teacher for the day and that's the first you'll know about it. Similarly if a parent helper goes in (and they are certainly not qualified).

In nursery parents will be asked for consent if a student does work experience there, but they will certainly not be asked their consent for a new employee to work with their child.

People need to let go of this whole attitude that they should be able to control their child's every moment, because the reality is that they can't.

As an aside, I wouldn't give a toss who cooked my meal in a restaurant, as long as it was to my liking.

Lazycow · 04/09/2008 17:02

WEll tbh if your children are in nursey (and mine is) people you don't know will play with them and possibly pick them up that is a fact.

I spent three weeks settling ds (3.8 yrs old) into the nursery. Most that time he was happy if I was in the room (cried if I left) but didn't really want to have much to do with me as he was busy investigating/playing.

Since I was a bit of a spare part otherwise I read to a few children, talked to them, played with them wiped a few noses and on a couple of occasions cuddle a few who climbed onto my lap. One little boy in particular wanted to be held a lot but the staff had to put him down sometimes. He would just come over to me and sit on my lap for a cuddle if I put him down he'd cry to come up again. Was I supposed to say no to him, I just couldn't.

I was of course not allowed to take the children anywhere or to help with any toilet runs etc but while I was in the room with staff I did get involved with the children. I couldn't help it really they came to me as I was an adult in the room.

Was good fun actually. Now if only they paid a reasonable salary for child care I'd definitely consider a change in career.

TheCrackFox · 04/09/2008 17:13

Hmm, my DH is a chef (whisper - he smokes too ), do you think I should have him CRB checked to look after our DCs?

To the OP you have come across as quite snobby but FYI the chef will get paid more than the staff looking after your baby. Oh and the gardener and possibly the cleaner too.

I have heard it all now.

babbi · 04/09/2008 20:12

What Wannabe said ....for sure...

Also has it crossed your mind that said chef may in fact be a father himself and therefore very experienced in handling/settling children ... maybe has more experience than the "trained staff" that you consider more suitable.. ??

Original poster
Washersaurus · 04/09/2008 20:16

Did anyone actually read my posts?

I am not a snob; I certainly don't judge people by the job that they do. I was merely suprised that the chef was holding DS2 when I arrived.

I probably could have worded the op better than I did but I was in a rush (sorting out food for my DS, who as it happens refuses to eat any food given to him at nursery)

I am (possibly over) anxious at the moment as DS2 only started doing two mornings a week at nursery this week and is just getting familiar with the staff - he is finding it quite difficult to adjust after being at home with me, as he is very clingy. I don't like to think of him being passed around lots of members of staff while he is still settling in.

I posted the op in the Nursery section because I thought that someone who has experience working in/using nurseries would be able to offer advice. I now know I was concerned about something that is fairly standard practice and so am not going to say anything to the nursery staff about it.

I have also since discovered from DS1 what the chef's name is, as DS1 proudly showed me his kitchen when I collected him from preschool this afternoon.

I am surprised that some people felt it necessary to attack me for taking an interest in who is looking after my children whilst they are in childcare. Nursery is not school; it IS a service that I pay for and so; yes, I do feel like I should have a say in how my child is looked after. I don't think that is wrong, is it?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 04/09/2008 20:21

"I don't like to think of him being passed around lots of members of staff while he is still settling in"

Was he crying when held by the chef? If not, I'd say he was having a lovely time being held rather than left on his own.

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