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Original poster

Guess who was holding my baby when I went to collect him...

180 replies

Washersaurus · 04/09/2008 14:06

The nursery chef ! He has been sat in the room before when I have been to collect DS2 from nursery, but today he was actually holding DS2 when I arrived. I'm not very happy about it tbh (he smokes aswell), how do I go about raising it with the nursery manager without upsetting everyone?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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NamechangersRule · 04/09/2008 14:27

I think a lot of you would be very shocked if you actually went into a college and realised what is involved in training for a NVQ at this level.

PoorOldEnid · 04/09/2008 14:28

god listen to you lot

I would be very if the kitchen staff were looking after dd3.

They arent at home ffs, they are in a professional place of work where people have roles and responsibilities.

Yes they have work experience students in dd3s nursery but they ask parents to give consent for them to look after your particular child. Should be no different for anyone who isnt a nursery worker.

FlightAttendent · 04/09/2008 14:30

Am with Enid on this...for once

LittleMyDancing · 04/09/2008 14:30

smoking in full view - definitely a no no

holding a baby - it's not the same as the vet's, a vet administers treatment that requires years of training to be able to do.

what kind of training do you need to hold a baby? it's not like he was changing their nappy, and presumably it's not something he does for hours, just a cuddle occasionally where needed.

the cook at DS' nursery is hugely popular and loves to come and sit with the littlies when she's finished cooking lunch.

what will you do when your child is old enough to waddle up to the chef and ask him for a cuddle? tell him me mustn't as the chef isn't trained?

NamechangersRule · 04/09/2008 14:30

No listen to yourself Enid.
What harm was being caused? Was the child upset?

Ridiculous nonsense.

Original poster
Washersaurus · 04/09/2008 14:31

Really this has nothing to do with him being a man. I just thought his place actually would be in the kitchen as that is where he is employed to be! I wouldn't expect the female cleaner to be in the room watching the children either. Just as I wouldn't expect to find the nursery nurses having to prepare lunch or do the gardening.

I didn't expect to be pounced on for posting the op, I was just genuinely suprised that this was allowed, as I thought there would be stricter rules in places. Some of you lot can start a class war out of any situation

I used to work in an FE college helping students studying childcare qualifcations (amongst others), so am aware of the training required. I am very far from being a snob.

OP posts:
NamechangersRule · 04/09/2008 14:31

God the things that upset people.

wannaBe · 04/09/2008 14:32

but no-one said he was looking after the child. He was holding him, that doesn't constitute looking after. Do you think then, that the chef/cleaner/receptionist shouldn't be allowed to form any relationship with the children who attend the nursery purely because they are not qualified to do so?

What does that teach children about people? that the cook/cleaner/receptionist/gardener are not to be spoken to because they are there to perform other jobs? Way to go to teach our children to look down on people from an early age.

PoorOldEnid · 04/09/2008 14:32

lol at class war

NamechangersRule · 04/09/2008 14:33

I'm very happy that you have no actual problems and you can fill your day worrying about fluff and nonsense like this

Oliveoil · 04/09/2008 14:33

lol at this being 60 posts already!

MN at its best

stripeymama · 04/09/2008 14:35

Yep, I think so too Namechangers.

Once a week for a year I had one of my lectures in a room normally used by NVQ childcare students (16/17 yr olds). They had to learn how to create a display of pink things, and one of silver things. They had to draw pictures of actions to do with nursery rhymes. They had to plan a craft activity.

In short, nothing that I (who would HATE working with children) can't do. Ok, there must be some basic first aid and ealth and safety stuff (surely?) but its hardly taxing.

Original poster
Washersaurus · 04/09/2008 14:35

Or maybe I just take more of an interest in who is looking after my children more than some people do, Namechanger?

OP posts:
bundle · 04/09/2008 14:37

our nursery cook takes the food into the rooms on a trolley and interacts brilliantly with the children. she knows them all by name and yes, I have seen her play with them and cuddle them.

so, unless you're talking looking after for a whole afternoon, then yes, YABU

JuneBugJen · 04/09/2008 14:37

Very simple solution to any worries. Have an informal chat with the nursery nurses manager next time you are there and just check this is an informal occasional thing, and that he is not used as an extra 'nurse'.

If it is a one off thing, then what is the problem? Was your son upset?

What upsets you the most about this? Is it the smoking (which is an entirely different problem)? or is it that an unknown male is holding your ds? Once you identify what your unease is you can decide if you need to take it further. But I don't like the idea that you may end up 'bad mouthing' the nursery to other local mum/dads for something which is not perhaps a real problem.

NamechangersRule · 04/09/2008 14:38

Well for I look after my child washer and dont leave it for other people but lets not get into whose the better mother

Original poster
Washersaurus · 04/09/2008 14:41

OOh namechanger - YOU must be a better mother then (MNing aside )

Did I mention that the chef is also very overweight......

You do realise that there was a very good reason that I didn't post this in AIBU.

OP posts:
FlightAttendent · 04/09/2008 14:41

Namechangers what is your problem?> If ypou're not interested just get off washer's case

I have recently had to deal with a similar issue about our neighbour touching or speaking to ds. People said it was wrong to be prejudiced against a man who has mental health problems, but it wasn't that, it was the fact a stranger was interacting with my child in my absence and inappropriately.

You meet the staff when you allocate the care of your child to the nursery. You know whom is caring for your child.

Someone else steps into the role without your consent or approval. I think you have a right to question that.

NamechangersRule · 04/09/2008 14:43

Well washer dd is upstairs in her own cot in her own house enjoying her afternoon nap which I, her own mother, put her down for. After I cooked her lunch. No strange chef here

LittleMyDancing · 04/09/2008 14:43

when we joined DS' nursery, we were introduced to the cook as well as all the nurses. she is feeding my child, they obviously thought it was important that we liked and trusted her too.

her picture is on the wall.

her details are in the blurb.

she is a member of the staff looking after our child.

Kewcumber · 04/09/2008 14:44

wouldn't have a problem with a chef occasionally wandering in for a chat with staff and playing with DS (he adores most men randomly). WOuld have a probme if he was doing it because they were short-staffed or if he smoked within sight of the children.

Just ask nursery what the situation was.

Also wise to run about overweight comment....

Oliveoil · 04/09/2008 14:44

namechanger - you are being a nob now

bundle · 04/09/2008 14:45

exactly littlemy

ours did the first aid course at the same time as rest - plus all the healthy eating, spreadsheets, budgeting stuff.

why are people so uptight? no chefs holding babies, no going out in the rain - what next???

Kewcumber · 04/09/2008 14:45

No strange chef here - but possibly a slightly strange mother?

NamechangersRule · 04/09/2008 14:46

So Washersaurus you just hate the overweight working classes