Nursery waiting for me to change 3yo’s dirty clothes at pickup?

[mfbn]

I’m a bit annoyed that my child (3) is being left in dirty wet clothes until I arrive?

Multiple times now, I’ve turned up at pickup only for staff to say he needs changing and expect me to do it there and then with them. Surely they should be changing him as soon as he’s messy and wet before I arrive?

It’s adding 15 minutes to a tiring pickup and I don't think it’s right to leave a child in dirty clothes. Is this normal?

Do you mean general dirt from playing of they have wet / soiled themselves and aren't in nappies?

depends when they got dirty and if they could be taken home as they are

If they mean he NEEDS changing, like it's urgent then they should be doing it, not waiting for you.

If they mean 'oh he needs changing' as in he's a bit dirty and you might want to change him, but it's basically personal preference then fine for them to wait for you to decide.

@hahabahbag dirt from playing
@NuffSaidSam NEEDS changing

I’d just do it at home, I wouldn’t be changing clothes routinely inside nursery. I’ve never had to do that for either of mine. But my DC have worn waterproofs and been changed by staff if their clothes got wet.

If they are wet then I would expect them to be changed. If it's just dirt then I wouldn't expect them to be changed.

Dirty clothes won’t get any dirtier on the way home. Wet clothes might be uncomfortable though. Why can’t they change him? Have you asked them?

Dirty is fine and normal. Wet is unacceptable. Are you providing plenty of spares?

Why don’t you take home him and change him there?

Is he wet from playing? If so, they should change him as soon as he needs it. If it’s just dirt, say no and go home?

In what way are they expecting you to do it there and then?

I’d probably keep a towel poncho in the car, pop it over him to protect the car seat and say “thanks, I’ll change him at home”

But why is he wet and dirty, do they do water play after tea or something? Obviously if he’s been wet for hours and he has spare clothes there, that’s not on!

Wet clothes should be changed immediately for the child’s comfort- but dirty from play I would just take an old towel for the car seat and say you’ll be changing him at home anyway

This sounds like a communication issue, they might be thinking it's a bit odd that you change him there rather than just sitting him on a towel and changing him at home.

If he's wet, ask them directly why they didn't change home. Otherwise, just take him and say "I'll pop him straight in the bath when we get home." Either discuss this weird dynamic or try to change it.

If my kid is absolutely filthy at the end of the day at nursery I’ve always said please for the love of god don’t feel like you need to change him. We often go to the park afterwards so then that’s 2 sets of clothes I’d need to wash anyway.

Soaked to the skin? That’s a different story. But I don’t care if he looks like Pig Pen from the Peanuts comic strip. Just shows he’s had a good day at nursery.

Can't he change his own clothes to a certain extent at 3 if he is uncomfortable? DD2 was always getting filthy but at around 2 she would change into her spare clothes when they came in from the garden/forest/lake/sledging hill

When my kids were at Swedish nursery they would change indoor clothing if they spilt stuff or got dirty at around 2-2½ and by 3 they could get into snowsuits (using the special snowsuit technique they were taught) and do velcro shoes and snow boots although some needed help with tricky laces

Personally - unless it was dangerous to go home - like soaking wet and minus 30C - I just took them home to get them in the bath and the clothing into the wash!

This seems particularly bizarre. I presume they invite you inside to a private space to change him?

If my son was wet, he'd be changed by staff straight away. If he was dirty from painting, eating etc he goes home for a bath.

It feels like a power play, if I want him to be dry and clean, I have to be the one to do it with them. I’ve been arriving at pick up to find him in wet with soiled clothes that clearly haven't been changed for a long time. It’s as if they are waiting for me to get there so I can deal with the mess myself.

It feels like a power play, if I want him to be dry and clean, I have to be the one to do it with them. I’ve been arriving at pick up to find him in wet, soiled clothes that clearly haven't been changed for a long time. It’s as if they are waiting for me to get there so I can deal with the mess myself.

So they’re not actually telling you he needs changing before he leaves? It’s just that you feel he needs changed and they’re saying at pickup time that’s up to you? If so I feel that fair

As others have said. Dirty is ok. Wet is not.

Why is he wet? Is it from water play or has he wet himself?

This is such a strange post. Why do you think it’s a power play? What do you mean by “soiled”?

@Happyhappyzoozoo I never demand them to change, but the manager has explicitly told the staff that children must be changed into clean clothes before being handed over to parents if their clothes are wet. the teachers instead wait until pick-up to ask the parents to help them do it

@inmyhair wet and dirty from playing in the garden

Erm have you tried telling them to change him out of his wet clothes in future? You are paying for a service...

My daughter is in a Sen school, most days I collect her and they laugh and say wait till you see her she’s manky 😄 and she comes out properly bogging, but I laugh and say well it looks like she’s had fun, I don’t change her there I say Thankyou and take her home. Maybe next time just pick him up and say no problem thanks I’ll take him home for a bath. Or strip him off in the car. They have lots of children to care for and if they got them changed Everytime they got dirty they wouldn’t get anything else done.