Nursery waiting for me to change 3yo’s dirty clothes at pickup?

[mfbn]

I’m a bit annoyed that my child (3) is being left in dirty wet clothes until I arrive?

Multiple times now, I’ve turned up at pickup only for staff to say he needs changing and expect me to do it there and then with them. Surely they should be changing him as soon as he’s messy and wet before I arrive?

It’s adding 15 minutes to a tiring pickup and I don't think it’s right to leave a child in dirty clothes. Is this normal?

Then use your words and tell management and staff that this is not happening and you expect the staff to follow the instructions they have been given.

What are the staff going to do if you don't change him there and do it at home? Hold your son hostage? Just take him home as is, they cannot make you do it.

Is this a school nursery or a private day nursery?

This!

This whole thread is properly confusing. I don’t understand why this is a big issue

@Soontobe60 private day nursery

Dry - yes
Clean - forget it

If they're genuinely wet clothes then you need to say something. If they need changing they should have changed them. I wonder whether they do messy play or water play at the end of the day so they don't have to change the children?

@Chocolattcoffeecup I’ve been wondering about that too

Could it be that they have a water table set up, with other kids still playing in it, so maybe feel like there's no point changing him until he's leaving as he'd just wet the new cloths.

Also, how wet are we talking, and what has the weather been like where you are?

I've collected my youngest with wet sleeves a few times in the last couple of weeks – she's not been bothered, it's been pretty mild, they were still out in the garden with water play set up, no point in changing her shirt when she might have the new one just as wet thirty seconds later. On the other hand, I've also collected once or twice in the last few weeks and there have been wet clothes in a bag because the water went all down her front/someone's drink went in her lap and she was uncomfortable. To me, that's a reasonable balance.

Some children love water play and will soak themselves and there is no point changing them until the water table is put away. Do you pick up while they are still out playing or later when a lot of things will have been closed down?

A child being picked up before end of the main session may still be wet if water is being played with still. A child being picked up end of day will be in fresh clothes after being wet, for example.

I think it depends when you are picking up some of our parents pick up during free play parts of the session so there is messy activities going on all day during that time. Normally after tea we don't have anything crazy messy out so they are somewhat clean when they go home. What are you classing a dirty are they soaking wet from water play or just got paint on their jumper or something. If it's just paint then they are likely to have it wiped a bit but then unless they are literally green then the outfit tends to stay as they are just going to get more messy.

Please don’t call the staff teachers unless they are teachers.

How close to 4 is he? Is there a reason he’s not toilet trained? Have they mentioned this to you?

@Sprogonthetyne That makes sense. If they’d just told me it was water or just handed him over, I wouldn’t have minded. I just don't get why they waited until I got there to ask me to help change him, especially since I found him just sitting at a table finishing his food

By found him was he just alone at the table??
Was the dirt on him food?

@sparrowhawkhere He has a speech delay and is currently getting 1-1 support at nursery. He’s behind on quite a few milestones, and the nursery hasn't mentioned toilet training to me. However, he told me "I want to wee" this week, so I've started training him myself. He’ll be 4 in December.

We had one nursery that would change DD1 about 30 mins before we collected her, so she was "nice and clean" for pick up. That meant changed if there was anything on her clothes, even if I would have left her in them at home. So extra washing. The other nursery would return DD2 to us looking like she'd been down a mine and up a chimney every day. To be fair to them, the other children didn't come out looking like DD2, she was a special type of dirt magnet. What they didn't do is expect me to get her changed. She just came home dirty. That's the bit I would object to.

That’s great he’s said he needs the toilet and you’ve started training him. Sometimes I find adults (not saying you’re like this) don’t expect enough of children with a speech delay. As for the wet clothes I’d be asking why he’s so wet and if it’s just him does he need more support in using the water carefully or wearing an apron.