Is my nursery lying about mealtimes?

[DudleyMonkeyPuzzler]

My DS (1yr old) has now been at nursery for two weeks, not long before he started he had a really bad virus which knocked him about a lot, and since then it’s been a struggle to get his appetite back. By the time he started nursery he was back to eating simple foods like toast, fruit and yoghurt, but point-blank refusing to eat meals he used to love, like spag bol, chicken stew, chickpea curry etc.

However, since he started nursery his report log is suggesting that he’s eating most if not all of the meals they’re providing, all stuff I’ve not managed to get him to eat since he was ill. So I’m wondering, is the nursery “massaging the truth” about what he’s actually eating, perhaps to protect my peace of mind? Is this a thing they do in other people’s experience? Or am I likely being paranoid?

I imagine it’s possible that in a different environment surrounded by other kids eating he might have more interest in the food, but just finding it really hard to believe.

I’d like to question the nursery about it, but can’t think of a good way to do it diplomatically.

I’m fairly sure ours used to lie. They’d say mine ate curry when they’d eat no sauces or even food touching at home. They were also starving hungry. I think you know as a parent.

Mine is awful at eating at home

mostly eats well in there

but I know it’s true because I get messages from them asking if he’s ok or if he already had breakfast because if he isn’t interested in eating - because it’s unusual behaviour for him to not eat there

they also always tell me if he hasn’t eaten tea or sometimes if he’s tired he wants to go to bed before lunch and they message me to say they saved his lunch and will offer again after his sleep

so these other occasions/contact reassures me they are telling the truth.

While it may be possible, they have a duty of care so outright lieing isn't the norm as they keep a log and if DC doesn't eat something they will be offered alternatives, all documented.

It's more often the case, as with our own DC, that when in a group they do actually eat what's put in front of them as everyone else is.

My ex nanny worked in a nursery and told me that she left quickly because the staff used to remove food fast at lunch time, very often before the children had finished eating.

There are a lot of children but staff know them well. It’s easy to see who has eaten, who has chucked most on the floor, who hasn’t touched it. If you know them well you also know to keep an extra eye when the usually good eater hasn’t eaten like usual.

My dn will eat what nursery provide and peel a cheese sandwich apart like it’s an unexploded bomb at home.

We were dubious about my daughters eating at nursery but we then had phone calls about her not eating a single thing for 3 days at one nursery and I had to pick her up early each day to see if I could get some food into her.
At another nursery I had a phone call saying she hadn't eaten any lunch but had the fruit afterwards am I ok with them giving her more fruit. I gave them the ok to offer alternatives if she didn't eat her lunch - fruit, cucumber and the crackers/bread sticks that form part of her afternoon tea.

We had notes like "assuming little as she seemed to be wearing most of it"

She would eat sandwiches for them and liver!

She is now in year 1 at school and a month into reception I was called into the school kitchen to ask if I was ok with them stripping back the food they offer as she wouldn't eat anything with a sauce for them. She now eats most of the things she would eat for nursery but wouldn't eat at home and eats at school close to how she used to eat at home. She's dropped 2 percentiles in weight since starting school too so I think she was actually eating pretty well most of the time at nursery!